Tag Archives: Trust

Everyday Spirit

Happy Sunday all

Well, hello all. It’s been some time hasn’t it since I posted an insight? I’ve been pretty challenged over the last two months or so, as well as extremely busy. In that time many of my thoughts have been on spirit and the nature of spirit’s guidance in my life at this time. I realise, not for the first time that Spirit, does what spirit is want to do, regardless of what WE think it should be doing.

I have to admit to being a little nervous at the moment.

After so many weeks of not posting I have the self-limiting expectation that every word I write has to be some great illuminating ‘KAPOW’ moment for everyone and that’s been paralysing hence such a long break.

But hey, in life one has to bite the bullet…

This probably isn’t a great ‘KAPOW,’ for most, but who knows maybe it’s a gentle nudge for some?

Update

cropped-manuscript-203465_1280.jpgLife has recently changed beyond all imagining and taken me to a completely different continent. I’m sure you can imagine the logistical operation it has been to uproot one’s life and pad down in a completely different spot.

It’s a change that involves a new home and way of living. There are; new customs, foods, traditions and ways of being, systems and infrastructure. It’s at once thrilling and fearful, exhilarating and frustrating, exciting & tiring.

There have been so many insights popping up that it’s been hard to decide which one to share with you today, but I think I’ll go with what I’ve been learning about Spirit & manifestation.

Now, many of you will have inwardly groaned and gone ‘Urrrgh’ she’s gone all weird and ‘hippyfied’ on us (again) but hear me out…

Everyday Spirit

Whether we acknowledge it or not ‘spirit’ or ‘energy’ or ‘god’ or ‘universe’ or ‘guides’ or ‘ancestors’ are working day and night to support us in our lives here in this physical plane. The evidence is all around us we simply need to choose to see the signs we’re given every day.

2014-07-05 05.59.11We can use this spirit to help us in our lives from finding the energy to get through everyday tasks to asking for spirit’s support when we have more challenging things to deal with. The thing to remember about spirit though, is that you need be precise, get specific bearing  in mind it will bring you what want in a form that you need, not necessarily what you think you want, in the way you think you need it.

Say you’ve been single for a while and (for the purposes of the illustration you’re heterosexual) you wish for a partner of the opposite sex. But let’s say you also have an unresolved issue with self-esteem. Spirit may well send you the partner you want, but perhaps this partner is one who is critical of you…

Why?

So you have another opportunity to practise standing up for yourself and finding your self-love and esteem

You may ask for a tall, dark handsome man (if you’re male or female) and you get just that, but he’s superior and arrogant challenging you to face and deal with your ideas about hierarchy, status and the value you place on others.

Stepping up to life can be fearful...What's next?
Stepping up to life can be fearful…What’s next?

Perhaps you’re having thoughts of I hate this job or I need to ‘get out of here’ and lo and behold you’re made redundant, or fired from your current role with no alternative means of employment organised.

Now I know you meant that you wanted to find another job and step into that or create a business and get it up and running before giving up your current occupation, but did you specifically think about that? No…

Your thoughts were ‘I’ve got to get out of here.’ And guess what? You get your wish you’re fired and now you’re, as you wanted –  ‘out of there!’

‘You gotta get specific!’

yes-238374_150You see Spirit will send you what you ask for, but you’ve got to get specific. It will also add a dash of what you need.

So when you ask, create thoughts that have you stepping into the role you want…see the people around you and the type of interactions you want to have with them, feel how it feels in that meeting with them or discussing new projects; OR imagine your ‘tall, dark handsome man’ being generous and kind, imagine his responses to being around you, your family and friends and the conversations you have together. See his kind acts and generosity being demonstrated in different situations and with different types of people… in this way spirit KNOWS what you want, in precise and exact detail and can get on with the job of bringing it to you.

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Musing: Love in all it’s forms

Happy Monday all

Last week, I was musing on love all it’s forms and the following words spewed out.

It was a week when I was shown love in all it’s many wonderful and not so wonderful forms:

Sibling love, romantic love, parental love… the love of friends, children neighbours and pets. I saw it all. The expressions were sometimes beautiful, other times they were less so…

Sadly, I noticed too that sometimes, just sometimes when we say we love what we do is allow love to be expressed as long as it fits what WE decide is an acceptable expression of that love.

Sadly, sometimes we impose conditions…

Sometimes we threaten and it got me thinking…

What IS Love?

love-1153972_1280And though for me it was just a momentary thought, a whole stream of words spewed forth.

I shared my thoughts on my personal FB page. It wasn’t a big deal, but it seems to have gotten a powerful and positive response with one or two people mentioning that I should share it more widely, so I am here for you today.

I hope it inspires you at the start of your week’s journey:

Contemplating love…In all its forms

Love is open
Love is giving
Love does not deny…
the friend…child…parent…lover, those parted or the living
 
Love is never demanded!
 
Love is kind
Love is inclusive
Love is free from guilt
Love should never be denied
used as weapon its withdrawal a threat
 
Love-in-such-a-wayFor love should be…
Uncensored
Unconditional
Unlicensed
And fall where it may
 
Love is trust(ing)…NOT
insecure or blind subject to rules, conditions & moral confines.
 
Love respects the separate…the union & the whole
For Love is…All
Love is…

the seat of the Soul!

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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I am an alien

Happy Friday All

The day the Earth stood still is a film about an alien who lands on earth. It that captivated me as a girl. For over 50 years it has been one of my favourites. When I was younger I didn’t really get why, but  now, I get it!

Day-The-Earth-Stood-Still

The film’s message is one of love. Yes, L.O.V.E. Love. Unconditional acceptance and the freedom to be the way you were made to be.

The Plot: Basically An alien lands and tells the people of Earth that they must live peacefully in love or be destroyed as a danger to other planets. The ship is a Metal Giant, in it a ‘man’ like extra terrestrial delivers the warning insisting that they ‘come in peace’

Now these two beings do nothing wrong. They do not instigate anything; the man goes around interacting and being a wonderful example of how humans should behave. It illustrates how base and barbaric our way of being is.

BUT

Because we do not understand it…we decide to attack it and that’s when the trouble starts.

I don’t know about you but I’m fed up of being attacked because others fail to understand my actions as I express love. I am Mad, yes, Fuming at how often I have to bear witness (and received) the basest, most hurtful comments and despicable actions of others because they insist on judging others by their own insecure, base, greedy or evil standards.

We’re seeing it all around us…

Look at the world we’re living in!

So I’m getting it off my chest and declaring to the world ‘I am an alien!’

ufo-1448947_1280

There, I said it.

What I mean by this is that I believe that love is… that’s it.

Love is all; It’s all we have ever or will ever need. It would seem that thinking and being this way makes me an alien.

I am, it would appear an ‘other worldly’ being others sometimes assume has an ulterior motive or else they believe I am dealing in something unsavoury; that I and others like me are acting in a way that is strange. When all we aliens are doing is expressing what we feel is right and good showing love for our fellow citizens, our families, our friends and our neighbours

We say we believe in love and it’s a CROC!

Hypocrisy.

  • We cry and weep and wail for Paris and Turkey…. as we should.
  • In our millions, we share posts for ‘Black lives matter’ as we should
  • We get incensed when we hear of the genocide being committed and rightly so
  • We march to show how much we care and rightly so
  • We insist time and time again that we believe in love AND
  • Share profound videos on social media that remind us that L.O.V.E. is all the world needs and you know what

It’s a ‘Croc’ 

You see if we believed in LOVE, truly believed, we’d practise it – every day, in every situation, in every way, unconditionally.

But…

apple-570965_1280All too often love I see love showing up with conditions.

  • You can love me but not him/her/them/that
  • If you love me you won’t speak to…
  • I love MY people, but THEY are different
  • If you love me then you won’t be/do/say X, Y, Z
  • If you won’t do this and my way, you won’t see your children/family/mother/father/grandparents
  • Love is demanded
  • Love is withheld
  • Love is used to manipulate

Love has many forms.

The Greeks had at least four words for their interpretation of the different ways love can be expressed

  • Éros:means “love, mostly of the sexual passion.” Although éros is initially felt for a person, it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or an appreciation of beauty itself. Physical attraction as not necessarily a part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, “without physical attraction.”
  • Agápe: means “love: esp. charity; the love of God for man and of man for God.” Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one’s children and the feelings for a spouseeros-352030_1280
  • Philia: “affectionate regard, friendship,” usually “between equals.” It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle In his best-known work on ethics. Philia is expressed as loyalty to friends; (specifically, “brotherly love”), family, and community and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity.
  • Storge : means “love, affection” and “especially of parents and children” It’s the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring. It is almost always used to refer to relationships within the family. It is also known to express acceptance or putting up with situations, as in “loving” the tyrant. Storge is also used when referring to the love for one’s country or a favourite sports team.

On Being Alien

  • Being an alien means I know that love shows up as familial, as friendship, as care, as companionship.
  • It shows up deeply and casually, it shows up as sex and affection, it shows up in making a cup of tea or coffee
  • It shows up as staying up late to mark those last 10 papers
  • It shows up as telling someone they look lovely even if you don’t know them and will never see them again
  • It shows up as laughing at a friends joke, speaking kindly to a customer, rubbing your dog’s whiskers and every day…

It shows up perhaps 50-100 times a day

But, how many opportunities do YOU take to live in the Love you say you believe in?

Mantra

home-1132278_1280I am an alien

I make no apology for being an alien,

I will not stand down nor accept criticism & condemnation when I choose to love as compassion or affection.

I will not allow your sullied mind to make my expression of any connection to another seem seedy and unsavoury because you judge from within the dank walls of your own insecurity, hatred and fear

I will not abandon my sister or brother because their experience is not that of my own

I will not give up on LOVE whatever form it needs to take

So, why not join this alien?

Create a tribe of aliens who come to the world in love, who come in peace and take every opportunity, every moment of every day, to express it in all its wonder, its beauty and yes it’s LOVE.

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel

 

 

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The Waiting Room

Happy Sunday All

buddha-709861_1280This morning as I meditated I asked for guidance about what I should share with you today, what came up was to share with you why I’m in the place I’m in…

You see, I find myself in a place or space in my life I call ‘The Waiting Room.’ I’m unable to work and I have to be still (but… I have so much to DO!)

We all know this place and I’m guessing most of us have been here, perhaps several times. This is a place where, when you’re in it you feel agitated and impatient.

The Waiting Room

girl-843076_1280The Waiting Room space feels like the expectation you have when you’ve handed in your notice and you’re waiting to go to the next job, but you’ve still got two weeks to go and you’ve pretty much handed over your responsibilities…

You’re treading water, as you see it and nothing much is happening. You’re impatient for the next phase of your career to start and you’re agitated.

It’s a similar feeling to when you’re in the last 3 weeks of pregnancy, your ankles are swollen, you’re tired and you ‘JUST WANT THE THING OUT!’ but that little blissing is still cooking and in fact these last few weeks are THE most important part of the process, for it is here that the little mite packs in the calories and packs on the bulk, so that s/he is strong enough to cope with being born.

OR…

Perhaps it’s a big contract and the ink hasn’t yet dried on it yet…you need to know the details, so you can co-ordinate the right team and ‘get stuck in,’ but you can’t get ahead of yourself just yet.

So, it is with The Waiting Room

This is a space of preparation, but most of us fail to recognise this and can react to it with frustration, impatience, upset maybe even anger.

No…No…No… No… No people!

Sad-Face

Journeys, waiting & frustrations

rue-d-anglais-238513_1280Now, I’m pretty certain most of us have been on a journey of some sort. I mean an actual train/bus/sea/plane journey. Journeys are synonymous with waiting, waiting and more waiting and if we’re not waiting we’re queuing. If you recall a time when you’ve been in a waiting room, you may recall some quite distinctive behaviour as you watch the others waiting alongside you.

  1. Some pace backwards and forwards as if this action alone will make the train/bus etc. arrive sooner
  2. Another is cross and mumbling about having to wait and how shoddy the systems are
  3. Another sits focused on the potential for missing the said bus/train and then because they’re so focused on NOT missing it they’re tense and agitated
  4. Another has left it to the last-minute and comes charging in minutes before the train is about to pull out creating a lot of bluster and noise as they do so and bumping into the poor old lady who needs time to get from the platform and mount the steps into the carriage

Another way?

its-your-choiceWhen our life’s journey places us in The Waiting Room, we could choose to react differently. We could do what the fifth person chooses to and that is… to choose to accept.

This is the person who sits calmly reading or simply daydreaming. They see The Waiting Room as a divine opportunity to catch a hold of themself and appreciate where they’ve been; a valuable transitory time to reflect and be excited about where they’re going.

You see, The Waiting Room is the place where you’re on the verge of something new. It’s a space in which another aspect of you or another chapter of your life is teetering and preparing to emerge. Yes PREPARING.  

The Earth is being dug up, the soil tilled and the furrows ploughed. The best possible conditions are being prepared for you so you can sow fresh seeds and for them to take firm root, germinate and grown into a ripe future.

Acceptance

spiral-1000771_1280When we allow ourselves to accept that the Waiting Room is where we are and love it as much at the exciting times of change we are on the path to accepting the more challenging times we are sure to meet too (the polishing you up times).

Acceptance is one of the Major Keys to YOUR joy and happiness

  • When you accept whatever comes you’ll be better more able to deal with wherever you are and whatever comes up for you.
  • Acceptance means you allow yourself to slow down and take stock, evaluate and get a clearer perspective of who you are, what you want, where you really want to go and how.
  • The more you practice acceptance of your situation, the more you accept the situations and situations of others.
  • In this way you come to accept yourself and all that you are too.
  • You recognise your talents and gifts and become awed by the knowledge that there is only one YOU, only ever will be this version of YOU EVER!

    And that is a wondrous thing…

There …my dear friend lays the path to your bliss.

 

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

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Gratitude & Bingo!

Pissouri – Cyprus

8th October 2015

22.32pm (local time)

Thursday

Happy Sunday All

Fear & Intuition

face-636095_1280Today I had the biggest and most profound lesson of my whole time in Cyprus thus far. I’ve had the strongest intuitive feeling, since coming away that something would happen. It manifest as the fear I mentioned in my previous post. I seemed to spend much of my time feeling as thought I needed to look over my shoulder.

Since then I convinced myself I’d be more positive and to see this time as a gift. A sort of pilgrimage; a present I would receive from the universe or some form of lesson or learning I would experience whilst here. Little did I know that it would involve BINGO!

Open to the new

Today started far too early…2am to be precise!

But the day finished better than it started.

By the end of the day I had learned a lesson… a powerful and profound one.

mountains-691501_1280After my trip to the village yesterday and sweaty walk down the hillside… a lovely, albeit steep (and with the speed and nature of the driving here) oftentimes treacherous stroll in beautiful 23’ sunshine. I must have become rather over tired.

Once back at the apartment I contemplated my game of Bingo tomorrow as I washed clothes and laughed quietly to myself as I thought about how I would Never have considered such a thing at home, yet when we in different circumstances whether or not by choice, we often allow ourselves to become freer, and open to ‘the new.’

I dozed for what felt like a couple of hours in the late afternoon, which was still very hot… NINE HOURS LATER! I woke up at 2am wide awake. Far too darn early for this girl, but I’m felt very restless.

I potter for what seems like an age and then make myself go back to bed.

8am…the day rolls out

sunset-67900_1920This is more like it! A far more civilised time of the day to rise.

Meditation…shower & dressing…more pottering and some food shopping and by 11.04am I’m sitting outside the raw food shop.

Breakfast.

Hmmm… decisions. Will it be a smoothie today or a raw cake? I opt for cake.

chocolate-811794_1920Chocolate & orange…delicious and every morsel is good for every cell in your body. The only truly ‘guilt free indulgence.’ This will have to be a non-existent treat from now on as finances are getting more than a little tight to say the least!

money-1005477_1920In no way had I been extravagant, but I knew I was under resourced when I got on the plane and I suspect that was a another reason I was reluctant to come in the first place. At this point I have €50 to my name.

Who wants to scrimp when you’re on holiday?

So, with half my cake eaten and many conversations later I venture back home to rest up and be back outside the shop for another lift to the village with Kate and Pissouri Village BINGO!

Flow…

water-256195_1504pm and we ‘tootle’ up the steep chalky cliffs to Kate and Ryan’s lovely home (names changed to protect the innocent!)

Now remember I only had €50. I had to take a €20 note with me as Kate had told me bingo would cost €6 and there’d be a meal. Not bad I thought. I’d of course then have enough to give her some money for fuel as well.

I offer to pay her as we get to the clubhouse, ‘we’ll settle up at the end,’ she says. ‘Go with the flow,’ I say to myself, a mantra I had been silently repeating all day…

’Trust the angels.’

Earlier that afternoon, I had taken out my angel cards and done a reading just before getting ready to meet Kate: ‘Blessings,’ ‘Spiritual Growth,’ and for the third or fourth time this week I had drawn ‘Guardian Angel.’

angel-819644_1920So, I told myself to stay in trust, that the universe would support me and to give thanks After all, money or no, I was still in paradise.

I felt easier…

6 games of bingo were going to be played in total and I quickly got the hand of it…

Game one played…

Game two & game three played and the €20 for a line goes, then the €50 for a full house. There are only two games left.

I accept I’m not going to win.

I relax…

Game four: Fifteen numbers will be called. I’m off to a slow start. Nothing on my board Is coming up. It doesn’t matter, it’s about the taking part and with the other players all calling the numbers and the little ditty that goes with each of them…

legs-766046_1920”No. 11 –  legs eleven;

Two fat ladies – 88” etc… this is fun, plus I’m getting an education.

Then a roll of numbers come my way and my board is looking very healthy, but so too are those of a few others and at least three of us need only three more numbers to win.

The next number…I mark it off, then the next…awww, not one of mine, then the next, is one on my board. Just one more, one number, just one and then…

bingo-491228_1920“YEEEES!”

The winner takes it all

€50 won!

Oh my gosh!

It couldn’t have been a timelier nor a more welcome win.

fitness-332278_150I was so grateful and knew, just KNEW my angels had supported me in response to my belief in them and the gratitude I had shown for what I did have.

Once I’d relaxed and I allowed the flow, my gratitude had been the catapult that launched my desires into becoming manifest. Once I let go and was present, allowing the ‘flow,’ the energy kicked in and what I needed showed up, in perfect and divine timing.

Gratitude, gratefulness & Thank you

Once back in the apartment “Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you,” over and over was all I could think as I cried in gratitude and drifted to sleep that night.

That choice is yours too…

marseille-142394_1920All I know is that we are supported. Not just me, or those who we consider ‘special’ who we feel have a gift or stand out in some way, but each one of us.

All we need do is:

  • Ask
  • Believe &
  • Be grateful

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

 

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Trust

Pissouri Pilgrimage – Day 1

Cyprus

Sunday 4th October – 23.55 (local time)

I’m away as you can see…

greece-565926_1280For some strange reason I had a real feeling of trepidation about my journey and was almost in tears as I left this morning at 8am for my flight to Larnaca from Leeds & Bradford Airport. I had no idea why, I just felt so fearful; a complete feeling of dread was nestling in my chest and I nearly didn’t come. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would regret wasting the money spent and that I’ve had hassle changing bookings and etc. I think I may have chickened out.

But, I’m here now.

10 days…alone with myself abroad.

It’s quite daunting and I think this is what scared me, even though I have travelled alone before.

I did feel a little re-assured and calmed myself on the plane by playing with my angel cards, (I have brought them with me). Whether thy provide comfort or not I believe they do and so that’s all that matters.

Arrival

On the flight I sat next to Carol and her friend Margaret. Both phenomenal in their 70s (looking decades younger) and travelling to meet a friend who is very familiar with the island as she used to live here. They’ve both been before, but never alone and called me ‘brave.’ Hmmm… not sure I was feeling too brave at the time, but hey! I was still gripped by this in explainable fear, but you can’t exactly tell the pilot to turn around or stop the vehicle now can you?

Airport terminal and they were aghast that I had not sorted my onward journey and had no idea how I was going to get from Larnaca to Pissouri. It turned out to be quite simple. A bus from Larnaca to Limassol and then a taxi to Pissouri. The bus was only €9, a bit better than the £74 round trip it was going to cost for transfers when I tried sorting it from sunny Leeds!

buddha-709861_1280So there I am, pleased with myself that I’ve sorted the bus and I won’t have to spend a fortune and dip into an already sparse pocket. I have very little in the way of spending money due to Summer term work drying up sooner than I’d anticipated and I am still catching up with myself. I’m still panicky, so I remember to be grateful and tell myself I’m lucky to be where I am and to be having this experience. I focus on reminding myself that the universe will support me and that things will turn out OK…

I believe it (kind of), but I say it to myself none-the-less.

The girl done good…

superhero-534120_1280Well, just as this girl thought she’d done good, the bus driver says I have to get off at the first stop and get a taxi. Now when I bought the bus ticket the lady made it quite clear (she even circled it on the bus timetable she gave me), that I should get off at the second stop; St. George (a church – I get the impression there are quite a few churches here to say the least!)

Something tells me this is bit of a ‘swizz’ and the bus driver and taxi man are in cahoots, but I have no choice, my driver is going no further.

Pah!

€40…

YES,

€40 later I am at the apartment!

Don’t get me wrong, me and Mr. Taxi man had a lovely chat. It turns out his daughter is studying ‘Biomedical Science’ at Leeds University, Clever girl and a very small world indeed…

He has three children like me and like me has two girls and a boy. His son is just finishing school and will have to do National Service and daughter no. two they are trying to get a position within the navy or something as she tried studying in the UK as a make-up artist, but gave it up. I don’t think he was too impressed.

But, I’m at this point smarting from the realisation I may have been ‘HAD!’ and I’m seriously worried about how I’m going to survive.

This, I think was what my panic was about. I know how to penny pinch at home, but abroad when you need to pay for everything?

And who wants to feel restricted in such beauty? But then I tell myself I am as confined and restricted as I think I am.

Pushing through the fear

fear-617132_1280After orientating myself around the apartment, which is lovely by the way. Modern and very, very cleeeen! My kinda place. The lovely Theodora came up and introduced herself and gave me a bit of a run down. She’s from Eastern Europe, but says she likes the weather here.

A quick shower…

The panic rises again…

That first night out and dinner alone.

I talk myself down and take another couple of angel cards. Pretty Stupendous they are too: ‘Blessings,’ and ‘Archangel Michael.’

So off I pop, telling myself blessings are all around me, that Michael is with me and will take away my fear…

I’ve just returned from dinner (yes alone).

Halloumi, olives, pitta and hummus…delish! I DO love that cheese, and proper goat’s milk too, so no bilious belly and cramping later, but so very rich; I’m going to have to abstain and not indulge every day methinks.

People watching

photo-montage-556811_1280At dinner I people watched and gave thanks for the lovely food and the very handsome cats that hovered like vultures wanting anything that might fall from your table. I had visions of the god almighty bloody scrap that would ensue if all five (or was it six?) of them descended on some morsel I might drop and I was tempted to put it to the test, but declined.

After eating and feeling very satisfied and just whilst I was just taking in my surroundings, a gentleman started to eat the grapes that hung from the roof of the restaurant. I did for a moment think they were real, but there were so many and they seems so perfectly round and plum and juicy, I’d deduced they must be fake.

Xenios offered me some (at least he wasn’t called Costas – That was the taxi driver!) and I have to say they were delicious, though a tad dusty, but what’s a little dust between new acquaintances? We chatted and he seemed to know quite a few people…he is also, it seems rather accomplished as a businessman as he seems to run a lot of different enterprises. Anyway, no doubt I’ll bump into him again as he has a water-sports business on the beach.

Conversation over, I walked back to the apartment in that profound darkness that there always seems to be when you’re on holiday and marvelled at the fact that I could clearly see the constellations and I was so grateful for the lack of light pollution.

Trust

trust-482655_1280I decided to write up my day in a diary, but then realised that perhaps this trip will contain significant learning & insights that I can share, so here goes.

Today has been about trust:

Trusting that the ‘other’ source is there to support me and to support all of us.

Trusting myself and my instincts to get it right

  • I was tested and thrown into strange and unfamiliar situations and with people I did not know…
  • This frightened me.
  • I was tired and not wanting the challenge of having to do this all alone.
  • I had to rely on myself and more importantly, to trust that the universe would create the best outcomes for all concerned.

She did…but the outcome would have been very different I suspect if I’d gotten into panic and continued to have negative thoughts when my fear arose.

Like the boy in the Polar express I kept feeling my way when all I wanted to do was give up or turn around and go back.

  • I stayed in gratitude, trusting that I’d be OK…
  • I now believe I will be just that…OK.
  • I swallowed my fear and ventured out, when I wanted to stay in and hide and give myself the excuse that I’d just arrived and I could go out tomorrow.
  • Instead, I pushed through my panic and fear and…
  • I ate well
  • I made a connection

And the crème de la crème… I found a vegan raw food restaurant on the walk home…

Guess where I’ll be eating from now on?

Kale chips a plenty!

23.24 UK time and 1.24 Pissouri time. Time to sign off

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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Belief

Happy Sunday All,

(Posted 6th October – but hey, better late than never eh?)

The Polar Express

Last night (3rd October) I watched the ‘Polar Express.’ I love that film, but you know when you watch something and get a different message every time you watch it. Well, last night I got a very different message, a message, which seemed to speak to me right where I am living in this moment.

baby-216876_1280You see, I am about to travel and for some reason, though I need the break I am experiencing some trepidation. I don’t know why, but I feel unprepared and nervous about the prospect of spending time in a foreign county alone. It’s not the aloneness you understand, I’m very used to that, but I’m not quite sure what It is.

The Polar Express is about belief.

A boy begins to doubt Christmas and the existence of Father Christmas and so ends up on a train to the North Pole and experience a series of challenges that test him until he ends up believing.

Believing

face-636095_1280 It’s about belief…believing in something even though it may be something you cannot see, or touch. At one point the boy is walking long the roof of the train and there’s a snowstorm. He can’t see clearly. There’s snow in his eyes and wind trying to blow him of course, but he’s searching for his friend and he knows that’s the direction she went in, so despite not being able to see anything, half blind and with no surety that he will find his friend he keeps going.

You probably do not know, but I made a significant change to my life just a year ago and I have created a new life and a new way of serving that seems like the right path for me. It is not without it challenges and at a time when thinks seems particularly ‘sticky,’ this lesson seemed very timely.

So, as I am wont to do, I had to share the insight:

What I took from that is that even though you may have decided on a path, a course of action a desire or a wish to keep going, keep believing, keep moving forward.

You may not be able to see the result, just blurry light in the distance and a vague belief that there is something out there for you then, you need to keep feeling your way. Keep your hands stretched out front, keep moving in the direction that feels right for you.

Forward motion

forest-249029_150Though the movement beneath you is rocky and unstable and you have no true idea where you’ll end up, keep pressing forward.

Fog

Despite being blinded by the fog and blown off course by the biting North wind, he kept moving forward. His belief held firm and he KNEW he would win through, though there was no evidence in front of him.

Just one step at a time.

Once he comes through and reaches his goal the train guard (played by Tom Hanks), says to the boy, ‘Sometimes the only things worth believing in are the things you can’t see.’

japan-808989_1280The goals we create for ourselves are often blanketed in fog, a shadowy ‘something out there,’ that we sense, but can’t quite make see clearly.

I guess that sense is the intuition, the inner ‘knower.’ Our little boy trusted his inner know and kept moving towards his goal, he kept believing in what he couldn’t see and was rewarded with reaching his goal

So albeit a brief post this week as I prepare to travel, I hope you get the message to keep going.

Your future or vision may be foggy now and perhaps you can’t articulate it as eloquently as you’d like to, but TRUST and keep moving in the direction of your dreams.

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

 

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Expectations

Happy Sunday All

I’ve noticed and I’m sure you have too, that one of our biggest sources of misery is from the relationships we have with others, especially our love/romantic relationships. There is nothing that we think provides us with such acutely negative feelings about our worth, as having a partner or Spouse leave us.

But, I have come to realise that loving someone is a gift. Each of our relationships is a lesson for us to learn from and pass through so we can evolve and transform. Each relationship is another opportunity for growth, if we choose to see it.

The misery comes not from the experience but from our ‘Expectations’ of it.

couple-309494_1280Person A

Person A has the belief that their self worth is tied to being loved by another. Their expectations are that love means the other person is constantly by your side, gives you their undivided attention and consistently offers displays of affection both in private and public. 

Person B

Person B’s expectations and beliefs are that love means giving others the space to be themselves, that love and affection are offered gifts and aren’t a demand or an obligation. The expectations they have of their partner are that they have freedom of choice, so every day that they wake up and their partner has chosen to be with them tells them they are loved.

Now the universe is made of opposites, Ying & Yang, masculine & Feminine and so…

Opposites attract.

So person A & B meet. The pull of person B’s strength and independence attracts A’s desire for care and protection. Person A’s emotional freedom and affection are a breath of fresh air and makes person B feel cherished, something they haven’t felt before. They are attracted to one another and begin a relationship.

Person A’s displays of affection allow Person B become a little more affectionate and Person B’s respect and support is warm and unusually freeing for Person A.

As time rolls by

Green-MileAfter a while however, Person B finds A’s demands for affection suffocating and confusing as they begin to get upset (feeling rejected) when Person B leaves them to pursue other interests or isn’t constantly demonstrating their affection.

To Person B, their constant demands for physical displays and emotional reassurance, implies a dependency that they associate with childishness and insecurity. They are uncomfortable with being constantly on emotional alert to A’s shifts in mood or upset when they do not feel too satisfied.

Surely they appreciate that they give them space to pursue their own interests and freedom to be themselves because of the immense love and respect then have for them? They have no idea that Person A sees the lack of attention as being abandoned and the result is they feel rejected.

Eventually…

Because of Person A’s belief that Love is demonstrated consistently person B’s displays are never enough for them. They feel constantly rejected. This becomes too much for them and they leave Person A to find someone who can give them the affection they crave.

Person B is left reeling; they were completely unaware that Person A was so disappointed. They have no real idea as to why. They then begin to assume that there must be something wrong with them, not with As expectations why person A left. They spiral into hurt and despair and berate themselves for their failings.

2014-07-19 15.00.45Self-Worth

Let’s look at it another way:

Both person A and Person B were operating from a set of beliefs. The truth is, if they had complete love for themselves they would understand that THEY are all they need, that approval from another is a bonus, but not necessary.

 

As the singer songwriter India Irie said:

‘Your self worth is YOUR job. It’s your sacred space to cultivate’

How another person expresses their love is not a reflection on your worth, but more an expression of what they have known and learnt about love and their relationship to it up to this point.

Now we all have a right to express our needs and how we would prefer to see them expressed, but how many of us actually sit with our significant other and have this conversation?

For A & B their relationship was a unique opportunity for person A and person B to learn about the nature of love and it’s many expressions. It was an opportunity for them to decide what love is, what its expression means to them and how and when they choose to express it.

Choices, decisions and changes

thinking-236770_150Our relationships are always opportunities to make and refine our choices, decide which of our expectations no longer serve us and so we choose to discard them and which expectations/beliefs we now know because of new information and learning we will decide to keep.

We would suffer less in our love relationships if we used them as a source of learning.

When we have a strong emotional reaction, consider if you’re seeing the actions of the other person through the distorted lens of your preconceived expectations or is what their communicating justified and so they DO need to consider making changes?

Once we are aware of this we realise that we can change our thoughts and therefore our beliefs and as a result our experiences.

  • What can you learn about yourself – what do you think and how do you feel and Why?
  • What are your expectations of love & Romance? – are they reasonable/achievable?
  • What do you assume Love should feel/Look like?
  • What are your expectations of yourself in love – How do you think you should feel?
  • What habits/beliefs still serve you and you choose to keep and which ones should you now let go? And why?

Take the time to honestly contemplate the questions and truthfully answer them.

2014-09-08 11.48.35And so to you

If you’re in a relationship, you’ve recently had had a break-up or you’re looking for a new relationship, it’s worthwhile really examining these questions for yourself before you enter into a new phase.

You will find as you uncover who you and what you need you begin to change your thoughts and alter your expectations. These new expectations mean you are more likely to attract a relationship which serves you more completely, one which and will ultimately runs, rather than one which leaves you feeling unfulfilled or dissatisfied.

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

 

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Being Tested

Happy Sunday everyone,

Over the last couple of weeks I was being tested.

Tested Big time!

I’m sure we’ve all known those times, times when you want to pursue a goal or particular direction, yet the energies seem to be conspiring to either scupper your efforts or keep you in your current space.

What to do in this situation?

My response is: DO NOTHING

Now when I say do nothing I don’t mean absolutely nothing, but I do mean don’t push against the energy.

stickman-310590_150You think you’re so sure?

You see, I’ve noticed in life that when we decide to be or do something different or change in some way the universe will challenge you. “Are you sure this is what you want?” she demands “Yes” you reply and again comes the ‘You sure you’re sure?” and sometimes, even when for a second time your conviction holds and you navigate another hurdle she’ll (the universe is always a ‘she’ to me) come in with another…

“I’m not convinced; prove it to me one more time!”

Boy! This universe is a hard woman to convince eh?

But these challenges are not easy choices to make. For example:

You may be thinking of changing your job. You’re not being as stimulated as you once were, you perhaps are not getting the recognition you feel you deserve or whatever the reason.

You decide to leave: YOU SURE?

You investigate and make connections and an opportunity presents itself. It’s with a relatively new company, more responsibility and challenge and a great match for your skills and values; a huge potential for growth, maybe even a stake in the company in the future.

fitness-332278_150Like a giddy Kipper!

You get fired up about it, you consider it carefully, you’re excited and full of joy a feeling you haven’t felt in some time and like a giddy Kipper you convince your partner that you’ll be so much happier, that it’s a better fit for you and that the future holds the potential for greater promise if you travel this path. It will just take some time to fully realise its potential.

You’re all set to leave: YOU SURE YOU’RE SURE?

And then your current boss invites you into their office and offers you the promotion you’ve been wanting for the last year and a half!

The one you’ve worked for and deserve and had lost hope of achieving. It’s much more rewarding financially than the vibrant new opportunity, but your boss is a challenge and there have been times when you didn’t agree with decisions they made nor how they made them.

It would mean staying within the confines of a large organisation and the structure, rather than the ‘freer’ environment and autonomy of the new opportunity.

You have to think. You agonise for days (your boss gives time), but you know you can’t take too long as they’ll think you’re not enthusiastic and a little ungrateful; after all, you’ve wanted this for many, months.

No…I’m sure, I’m sure

You decide that you’re still going for the opportunity that offers autonomy and expansion and then:

“BLAM!” 

She says: I’M NOT CONVINCED PROVE IT TO ME ONE MORE TIME!

You find out you’re having baby…

Jeez!

Do you:

  1. Stay…Take the stability, comfort and security, the familiar structure that you know how to navigate, the ‘devil you know.’
  2. Take the risk on an unknown future, with potentially unsteady and unproven variables yet potentially the reward, lifestyle and peace of mind you’ve always dreamed of?

Do you stay true to the YOU you want to be or the you you already know how to be?

This is the space I have been in over the last few weeks and the space I’m sure many of you will find yourself in at some point in your life. This is what I have learnt.

Be still…

Be still and listen for the Divine Whispers

arm-wrestling-176645_150The push & the pull

In middle school we had a gruff, blustery teacher named Mr Hardy. He was a rugged Geordie and very ‘no-nonsense.’

As well as being my form tutor he ran the gymnastics team of which I was a member. Now, I think we all know the form and shape expected of a gymnast. I on the other, hand have always been more of a Serena Williams body type, boobs and all! In most conventional thinking not the most efficient shape for elevations, lifts, jumps and springs; yet I did very well, but you can imagine I often felt a bit like a sunflower in a garden full peonies as well as a deep-seated  insecurity among those sylph like others, who seemed to effortlessly glide through the air like a hot knife through butter.

One day he pulled me aside and asked me a question:

“Pauline,” he said “ have you ever tried pushing a pram on the sand?

“No sir” I answered.

“Well,” he responded, “you push and push and you just churn up more sand and the wheels get even more stuck, your progress is erratic and you get tired. Do you know what you should do?”

Of course I didn’t and told him so. He said…

“Turn around and pull…then you’ll glide over the surface with ease”

water-256195_150Flow

There is a point to this…I’m coming

You know I never forgot what he said.

I have remembered this throughout out my life and it has served me well.

To me he was telling me to stop trying so hard…to relax and let my muscles do what I was training them to. The ‘effort’ I was putting in was causing tension and that tension was creating stiffness and not the flow’ necessary for transformation.

The very effect I was trying so hard to create I was constraining. I needed to let go and turn around and ‘PULL’ I would find the movements would then unfold and create themselves effortlessly.

So, I’m in the middle of being tested and I remember the story. I remember and chose to stop endlessly ruminating on the topic, do the necessary but not make major decisions and be still…

whisper-408482_1280Whispers

As soon as I did the ‘whispers started’

  1. I was watching a film and heard “stay the course” twice…
  2. Then I heard the phrase “Be the true you” I knew these phrases were messages to me because you know when you get that churn or wrench in your stomach/solar plexus as if you’re being told to:

‘Pay attention?’

butterfly-108616_150Then there were butterflies; not unusual at this time of the year I know, yet I seemed to be followed by them and they were unusually tame around me. I even had one following me in the middle of London!

On looking them up their significance I see:

“Lighten up and stop taking everything so seriously. Get ready for a big change, one where and old habit, way of thinking, or lifestyle is going out, and a new beginning is emerging. It’s time to make the changes you’ve been considering. In spite of the challenges you’ll get through this transition, and as always know that ‘this too shall pass.’”

Well blow me down with a feather!

Clarity

It was clear to me that I indeed WAS being tested. Tested to know completely that what I was choosing was exactly what I REALLY WANTED, being tested and challenged to recognise when I’m being guided and supported and being tested to

`Trust my own inner guidance.’

zen-178992_150If we are to ‘stay the course’ when things get tough, we need to have complete conviction.

This conviction comes from pushing through resistance and knowing absolutely that the path we have chosen is the one we truly want. In order to know this we need to have fought for it, to face adversity to win it and so the universe will ‘test.’ You, but will show up to guide you and give you clues too.

‘In gratitude’ to Mr Hardy

At various stages in my life I have recalled `Mr Hardy’s voice telling me this tale. Mostly at times in my life when I was being tested, had decisions to make and I have automatically gotten into worry or anxiety mode. When I’ve been pushing myself for a finite and definite response and ‘stressing.’ Not knowing which direction to take.

Sometimes these dilemmas have been about my life path, or decisions about career and work, sometimes the decisions have been ones about love and partnerships.

When we remember Mr Hardy’s tale it reminds us to:

  1. Stop…turn around
  2. Be still… listen for the divine whispers
  3. Heed the messages we’re being given and only then should we move….  We’ll find then that we’ll glide over the sand.

2014-04-29 18.35.30Do you need an opportunity to be still and read the ‘whispers?’

Perhaps you’re restless and  you know there’s more

Perhaps like me you’re being tested

Perhaps it’s just a niggling feeling…

Perhaps you’ve decided things need to change but simply need support and guidance

On 22nd August take some time and ‘listen.’

I’ve created a space for just 28 people…

An intimate supportive and powerful workshop where you get to focus on YOU

A Space for you to become still and start ‘pulling’ YOUR  pram across the sand.

https://spacetob.eventbrite.co.uk

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel

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Happy

Just one of those days

umbrella-170962_150You know those days when you just don’t want to DO anything and you know you just want to be with yourself?

Well Sunday was one of those days.

I have these moments when my ‘spirit’ feels weak and tired and I just want to ‘be’ and not ‘do.

So I chose to honour my needs and I did just that.

Hence my silence till now.

At one point I had a moment of ‘But I’ve got to get my blog out!’ but despite that decided that I need to ‘walk the walk and do what I’m constantly advising you my readers to do, and that is to honour your feelings, wants, needs and desires.

Honour yourself

be-511557_1280How many times have I insisted that YOU honour yourself, that you respect yourself?

How many time have I insisted that you are worthy and deserving?

Well, I of all people should be able to honour the same for me;

I should be an example to you.

So I did just that and so this evening I am posting later than usual;  no guilt, no recrimination, no ‘should haves’ and I know it’s just as it should be…

The Divinity of Silence

bank-340779_150Most of Sunday I spent in silence. As I get older, I notice that silence is increasingly welcome in my life.

It’s comforting and in silence I learn, in silence I grow.

In silence I am learning to be with myself.

When I or we spend time with ourselves we begin to understand ourselves better. We learn about the thoughts that surface and hold us back from the reality and the life we really want, we learn to quiet those thoughts and control our thinking…

It’s in the silence that we learn what we truly want in this life, who we choose to become and it is in silence that we find the courage to choose it. The courage to choose happiness and not feel undeserving or guilty about doing so.

I’m still working on the courage bit!

The Challenge

At the start of the week I made a decision. I decided that no matter what happened that week I would stay feeling good feelings and I would insist on having happy thoughts. I decided to really test myself on ‘choosing’ my reality

At the end of last week, Thursday to be exact, a wonderful woman whom I got to know earlier this year and I had a long overdue conversation on Thursday, during which she advised me to watch a film called ‘Marvellous.’

IMG_0182It’s about a man called Neil Baldwin who refused to accept he had any learning difficulties and as a result lived so much in the moment his life became such a wonderful example of how your thoughts create your reality.

The line that really captivated me and re-affirmed my commitment to my challenge from earlier in the week, was his response when asked how he manages being so positive and cheerful all the time. He replied:

“I always wanted to be happy, so I decided to be…when something bad happens I just think about something that makes me feel good.”

Errr..Duh!

What a corker!

Genius…

It’s so obvious and yet so simple at the same time.

margarite-74886_640Thursday & Friday were tough and I could feel that there was growing within me the potential for me to slip back in to fearful thinking and if I’m honest a little panic. I decided to really focus on applying The ‘Baldwin Principle’ and concentrates on thinking (and more importantly – FEELING) happy thoughts to the point where I felt happy physically. Light and sunny and positive. I recalled memories and events that had made me feel good in the past and really immersed myself in them once more.

Well didn’t’ it work a treat!

By midday on Friday I received physical confirmation that my good mood was attracting positivity into my life, when I received a very pleasant surprise. An email arrived to say that some work I had done for an agency, some time ago (that I’d actually forgotten about) had been authorised for payment and the money deposited into my bank account. Whoop di do eh?

The Payoff

But guess what the BEST payoff was.

I felt great ALL DAYEVERY DAY! I was literally buzzing inside.

attractive-19161_640I had a smile on my face and a skip in my step so remember that we DO choose our thoughts, we CAN change them at will it just takes practise.

So, my advice to you for the rest of this week is collect a few memories and thoughts of events, situations, items, people who make you feel great and relive them.

Blanket yourself in the glow of them and smile, smile, smile your way to bliss.

For now…Happy Tuesday

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

 

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