Tag Archives: Regrets

Overcome The Fear; Step into GREATNESS

 

Happy Sunday everyone,

pinwheel-9228_150Last week I discussed love & fear and today I’m going to delve a little deeper into how we overcome the fear and stepping into our greatness.

Since Tuesday I’ve been in the wonderful Somerset countryside at a place called Nettlecombe Court on the edge of the Exmoor National park, on a writing retreat with some of my students.

It’s ben a wonderful few days filled with writing and sunshine.

I wasn’t going to come

2014-07-05 07.58.05Tonight was our last night and as I climbed the steep hill this evening towards the top for our last get together, a ‘fire circle.’ I got talking to  young man who told me what a great time he’d had, yet at the start of the trip at the last-minute he’d decided he wasn’t going to come.

Now he was so pleased with himself that he did because he’d been challenged to write different styles, challenged to be self-sufficient and challenged to make new friends, all of which he had achieved admirably and so he was, rightfully so, proud of himself.

More importantly I could see he’d grown as a person. He was expanded. He’d learnt new things, met new people and was enriched by it. He was confident in his own abilities and as a result had conviction; a knowledge of who he was and the knowledge that he can go out into the world and grab hold of whatever he want from it!

Fearlessness

He bless him, had demonstrated ‘Fearlessness’

Fearlessness isn’t some abstract act or emotion demonstrated by Knights a and prince’s in fairy tales and curtly acts and gestures of love.

Fearlessness is knowing that this thing holds fear for you, but being determined not to let that fear paralyse you and to push through regardless. Push through to your greatness.

Feeding the babybaby-105063_150

The result of allowing fear into our lives is that we become smaller and smaller until all memory of the expansive feeling, that should be our norm, is lost and we accept instead a pale, shrunken substitute in the form of fear.

We nestle it in bosom and cradle it in our arms and tell fear ‘it’s Okay…nothing will harm or threaten you.’

We allow the negative voices of the ego, the voices of trepidation, the voices of ‘I couldn’t do it so why should you?’ we indulge the persistent and endless ‘What about’ voices that echo and echo in your head.

What about your pension, what about paying your rent, what about getting a career with prospects… ‘what about’…’what about’…’what about.’

We amplify them… megaphone-150254_150

They take up root theses voices, grow claws and fangs and gnaw away at us…

The more we listen the less able we are to act. We become dry not fluid and free-flowing and like anything that’s dry and shrivelled, we become brittle. Our brittle nature, our resentment (primarily of ourself for not allowing our innate brilliance to shine), we then project on others.

It’s in this way that we perpetuate the cycle of insignificance, of being afraid to step out and re-draw again the cycle of frustration…

But we know it’s not enough don’t we? We FEEL it in our core that there’s more than we are currently experiencing, but what? How do we access it?

Don’t just take my word for it, I’m not the first to have said so, so here’s a reminder:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne WilliamsonA Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

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In my experience, I have found, that the way to end your fear is to find your centre. Finding your centre means you develop an inner strength and self belief and develop a deeper connection with your higher power. In developing this connection you are more able to hear the messages that are guiding you to your best self; to the activities, roles, people and situations that accelerate you souls’ learning and to finding your purpose.flower-22656_150

When you do find your centre, you become completely clear in the knowledge that you are a part of everything and that everything is a part of you. You no longer feel there is anything to fear.

How do I access my centre you may ask?

For me that has been beautifully found through the practise of meditation.

But there are other ways:

One lovely way is to have something in your life that allows you to connect to your creativity, just as we have done at Nettlecombe.

It may not be something conventionally creative like painting or flower arranging and it definitely doesn’t have to be for anyone else’s approval other than that of your own. In fact make sure it’s just for you…

This is designed to feed you, to lift your soul and not anyone else’s, so do something that makes you smile

Building momentum

lady-307315_150Dance around the room once or twice a week to uplifting music, or roll around in the leaves in the park,  Take up a new class of some kind, Write, Join a choir and sing your heart out, Go for a run (or if you’re like me a geriatric stroll), but hey, at least you’re getting some fresh air! Help someone and then…

KEEP DOING IT! Build a ‘feel good factor momentum,’ lift your mood, feel good, for when you feel good, what do you have to worry about let alone fear?

The more often you do this, the more your fear lessens.

You begin to feel invincible and to be honest,

Invincible is exactly how we are meant to feel! ; )

Blessings

Insightful Angel

 

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Happiness and how to achieve it

Happy Sunday everyone!

This week I ruminate on the last of our most powerful regrets as we die.

It’s a biggie!

I wish I’d been happier

fitness-332278_150It pains me that so many of us today feel that happiness and how we gain it is such an elusive quality in our lives, as if it’s something that exists outside of ourselves.

The key to being happy, is first to believe you deserve it, to believe and really understand that it is the right of each one of us has the right to happiness in this life of ours.

We are not here to suffer.

We are not here to cry.

As I see it most of us fall into one of several types:

  • The one who chases it, believing external recognition or ‘things’ will make them happy
  • The one who believes everyone else has it but they don’t and never will
  • The one who believes to have it they need to take it from others
  • The one who believes the world is ‘agin ’em’
  • Then there’s the worst example of all the; ‘The Happiness Vampires: ‘ 

Vampires!dracula-151207_150

 

There are two types:

  1. They’re the ones who attach themselves to bright, shiny, upbeat, positive people and try to rubbish, criticise, ‘pooh pooh’ and generally throw cold water on their bright, warm positivity bonfire at every turn
  2. Or else they hang around manipulating them into using their talents to help them (the vampire recognises the food source by instinct. They’re usually ‘giving types’ so they use the energy of the giver, their greater energy and experience to boost themselves, suck them dry and then leave… stepping on their ‘spent’ carcass as they go!

All types are hoping to create one thing…

That you’ll become just like them…

See I’m right!

Their deepest desire is for you to begin to work in the world the way they do, think they way they think and generally agree with them so that they can feel justified in moaning and crying and bitching and simply wallowing, yes wallowing in their particular point of view.

I’m sure we can all bring to mind someone who falls into one or other of these categories, maybe it’s you? If so, the good news is, you didn’t start out that way…you changed and so you can make a choice and change once again.

honor-guard-67636_150Conformity, Consensus and Compliance

We all want to ‘fit in.’

We humans are pack animals and need to live in communities and communities by their very nature, need order and conformity to survive.

What most of the types listed are hoping to achieve is a shift in your attitudes and behaviours that mirror their own. This serves then to prove that their choices and attitudes are correct and they can then shout:

‘You see, so and so thinks like I do; I MUST be right!”

baby-29483_150From the cradle

The moulding & shaping starts early.

As children we are taught from well-meaning and loving adults that our natural exuberance (too loud), or curiosity (ask too many questions), or need to express our joy (showoff)…

Are just Not Acceptable in certain circumstances.

Over time those circumstances become too many and confusing to mention and then we’re so confused we just give up on being our authentic selves. It seems too hard and causes too much trouble (for others usually!)

Alternatively, we seek attention in negative and destructive ways in an effort to  be ‘seen’ and feel worthy.

Adulthood then becomes either an endless search (once we recognise something isn’t right and we’re more than this) to reclaim the lost ‘authentic self,’ or else it becomes a life of quiet and perpetual ‘desperation.’

Living lives that do not serve us.

Living lives that do not thrill us.

Those that embark on the search, in more cases than not, do so in the face of disapproval, criticism or resentment from the wider community. There goes that need to get you to ‘comply’ again!

Yet, we have the means to make ourselves happy all the time, at any time.

 Just do YOU

index-315754_150

In my experience the more you…

  • Follow your heart; you DO know what’s good for YOU
  • Listen to your intuition
  • Do the things that makes your heart sing, that makes time stands still and puts you in the ‘flow’
  • Show Compassion
  • Show Gratitude 
  • Show Love
  • Contribute to your Community & Society
  • Allow: Vulnerability in yourself and others: Be authentically you and allow others to show you themselves authentically
  • Honour your body by eating well and exercising. Appreciate who you are. Accept yourselfman-65693_150
  • Be Still: Regenerate and recuperate by being Silent and Still at some point every day.
  • Recognise your journey is YOURS and yours alone, you have the right and the freedom to Create the path you take
  • DO NO HARM: Verbally…Emotionally…Psychologically…Physically

These are the keys to being happy.

It may seem relatively simple, but it is!

As I navigate this journey of mine, I realise that the simpler my life gets the happier I become.

The more I adhere to the list, the more I’m fulfilled and the more joy I feel.

We are here to find our happiness, we are here to find JOY.

Take a look at your life. Which areas of the list could you work on? Start today and make a change. Just start with ONE thing.

Take the step today towards your happiness and make sure that when the time comes for you to leave this earthly plane you have absolutely…

NO REGRETS!

Blessings & Love

Insightful Angel

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No Regrets! -Living your best life

IMG_0182No Regrets! – Living your best life

Happy Sunday everyone, For the next five weeks I’ll be examining the 5 biggest regrets people make on their deathbed.

The big five

five-146657_150

These five regrets are namely:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not one others EXPECTED of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked SO hard
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
  5. I wish I’d been happier

 

Oh my!…How distressing

Today I will examine number one which is the regret of not having the courage to live a life true to yourself

The giftgift-147780_150

The good news is, the palliative care nurse that shared this information has given us a magnificent gift. How amazing to know NOW, in THIS VERY MOMENT how to avoid the potential feelings of regret as our souls transition. How amazing it is to have been given the OPPORTUNITY to change the course of our lives and know that we are ready to leave this world happy and fulfilled having:

  • Given of our best,
  • Been our best selves
  • Served humanity and as a result
  • Received the best that life has to offer.

Today’s the daysunrise-274257_150

If we heed the warning TODAY, and I mean TODAY! Let’s not procrastinate any longer, the result will be that ALL  who take up the challenge will live lives that are abundant, lives in which you feel completely realised as whole and complete. You will step into your greatness.

You will finally enjoy living a fulfilled life, one which is joyous, balanced and fearless; a Life which on reflection will make you to shout a resounding ‘NO REGRETS.’

You will have lived, A Life true to yourself

attractive-19161_640

But, what exactly is that?

Many of us spend our whole life, struggling to find who we are, what it is we want and name what that is. Many of us, reach well in to middle age and still don’t know ‘What it is we want to do and be when we grow up.’

Or else ~

Like me and you may resonate with this one: We knew, deep, deep down, many eons ago, perhaps as far back as 2 or 3 years of age or 6 or 7, exactly what we wanted to do, who we wanted to be…but when we put it out there we had our dreams ridiculed, and laughed at or else scolded  for even daring to think such nonsense.

Whatever the reaction was, as we grew older, as we met the world at large and more messages of ‘just do; the right thing,’ be ‘like everyone else,’ average,  grey.

The message that told us to ‘fit in.’

‘Not shine too brightly,

‘Not show up the inadequacies of others by being as shiny as our own bright star was capable.

Our dreams shrank and so did we…

eyes-34781_150Dream stealers and energy vampires

Sound familiar?

“Well, son there’s not much call for cowboys these days…”

“Magic doesn’t pay that well…”

“How can you be successful as a baker? and it’s really warm with all those ovens…”

Or Maybe, like me…you were simply laughed at…

Or received an angry response: ‘Who do you think you are?’

Many of us received the following responses:

“You’re good at English/Maths/Science, why not become a Teacher/Accountant/Doctor. It’s a good profession and you’ll have a good income and a better life than we had.”

“You need to go to work…we cant afford to send you to Drama/Circus/Dance school.”

I have no doubt they discouraged us because they had the best of intentions, however, they are invariably the phrases passed down from Aunts, Uncles, Elder sisters & brothers. Many of our care givers repeat these warnings because of their own fear or simply for something to say.

Whatever the message was, we believed it.

believe-197091_150

We echoed it and increased it’s power, OR we stuffed it down into the already bulging sack of ‘rubbish’ which holds similar messages from other caregivers, mentors, teachers and significant adults who influenced our formative years and convinced ourselves we didn’t deserve to EVER take that out and look at it again!

We accepted, what they said was true and that ‘LIFE’S JUST NOT LIKE THAT!’ instead we resigned ourselves to being ‘sensible’ and ‘realistic.’

Once the three-year-old you met resistance from a significant adult it’s game over! It’s far too great a challenge to expect a 3, 4, 5 year-old to stand firm, take the bit between their teeth and insist that they are able to assert their right to be their authentic self.

The Decision

So, we made a decision…an unconscious one.

right-238369_150

We decided that the feeling of perfection, of being so expanded and happy, so exhilarated, the feeling that you CAN do anything; the feeling that

Performing magic,

Being on horseback,

Creating yummy smelling rolls,

Painting

Dancing,

Acting the clown

OR

Performing created within you, was a fleeting, transitory emotion that we could only expect to experience on a couple of occasions in a lifetime!circus-160165_150

We decided, unconsciously you understand, that life was more passive & unimaginative, that no-one feels like that ALL the time, that you were not special enough to feel that way all the time.

After all no-one we know does these things,

To feel happy, content and fulfilled … is the exception. Isn’t it?

BUT

Deep down…

In the depths of your soul, you know don’t you?

You know you’ve been sold a massive lie.

That somehow…you betrayed yourself.

But…

You’re an adult now. The biggest thing stopping you, is not the people around you it is…

You guessed it!

F E A Rportrait-317041_640

What we fail to recognise is that they’re not RIGHT they’re just AFRAID;

You’re AFRAID.

Afraid to follow your passion.

Afraid you’ll fail,

Afraid you’ll look silly,

Afraid of what others might say,

Afraid you’ll be unable to survive,

Afraid to be different,

Afraid, Afraid, Afraid!

My hope is that today, this blog will get you thinking and I will help you realise one thing.

You have a choice…

Right here, NOW.

You have the right, the option, to choose differently, to not be the next person who at the point of leaving this world says:

motorcycle-293571_150‘I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself.’

So if you give yourself one gift this year, let it be the gift of YOURSELF to YOURSELF…

Revisit your passions:

What were the things you’ve experienced, achieved, completed that gave you that feeling of expansion, a feeling that everything is/was perfect, of exhilaration.

A simple feeling of joy?

Is there room to re-introduce it/them into your life?

As you’ve evolved, have you discovered a new passion and how can you make that your life’s work?

success-259710_150‘Success’ only comes before ‘work’ in the dictionary

My experience of changing my life, living with my joy every day and being a more successful ‘me,’ has taught me that,

Yes it will be work,

Yes there will be challenges,

But guess what?

When you step into your passion you connect with your greatness EVERY SINGLE DAY.

You’re in joy EVERY SINGLE DAY,

you look forward to the work you do.

You WANT to do it, not HAVE to do it.

Aren’t we all familiar with the phrase ‘I have to go to work?’

Even your challenges become joyous because you know that like a diamond, these challenges are simply polishing you up.

Polishing you up, so you become your, shining, brilliant, best self; sparkling on every facet and reflecting the glory of the universe back to yourself and to us all.

The saddest and most painful words ever uttered are:

“IF ONLY…”

Blessings and Love

Insightful Angel

 

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