Tag Archives: Purpose

Pissouri Pilgrimage No. 1

Happy Sunday all

greece-565926_1280Here’s the first instalment of my ‘Pissouri Pilgrimage’ posts. There was some learning and there was some insight, so for the next few weeks I’ll share them here with you.? My hope is that they help you in some way by shining a light on your thoughts about yourself or life, or give hope if you’re feeling less than confident. Maybe they will confirm for you how amazing life is!

4th October 2015

Pissouri – Cyprus 23.55 (local time)

Trepidation

I’m away as you can see.

cute-18833_1280For some strange reason I had a real feeling of trepidation about travelling and was almost in tears as I left this morning at 8am for my flight to Larnaca from Leeds & Bradford Airport. I had no idea why, I just felt so fearful; a complete feeling of dread was nestling in my chest and I nearly didn’t come. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would regret wasting the money spent and that I’ve had hassle changing bookings and etc. I think I may have ‘chickened’ out.

But, I’m here now.

10 days…alone with myself abroad.

It’s quite daunting and I think this is what made the fear rise up in me, even though I have travelled alone before, but that was some time ago.

I managed to re-assure and calm myself on the plane by playing with my angel cards, (I have brought them with me). Whether they provide comfort or not I believe they do and so that’s all that matters.

aircraft-479772_1280On the flight I sat next to Carol and her friend Margaret. Both phenomenal in their 70s (looking decades younger) and travelling to meet a friend who is very familiar with the island as she used to live here. They’ve both been before, but never alone and called me ‘brave.’ Hmmm… not sure I was feeling too brave at the time, but hey! I was still gripped by this in explainable fear, but you can’t exactly tell the pilot to turn around or stop the vehicle now can you?

Through someone else’s eyes

Airport terminal and they were aghast that I had not sorted my onward journey and had no idea how I was going to get from Larnaca to Pissouri. It turned out to be quite simple. A bus from Larnaca to Limassol and then a taxi to Pissouri. The bus was only €9, a bit better than the £74 round trip it was going to cost for transfers when I tried sorting it from sunny Leeds!

So there I am, pleased with myself that I’ve sorted the bus and I won’t have to spend a fortune and dip into an already sparse pocket. I’m still panicky, so I remember to be grateful and tell myself I’m lucky to be where I am and to be having this experience. I focus on reminding myself that the universe will support me and that things will turn out OK…

I believe it (kind of), but I say it to myself none-the-less.

woman-41891_1280It’s funny how we see ourselves differently to others. They saw a brave woman, going it alone, but because I was on the inside of me I focused on the nervousness I was feeling. Yet they would never have done what I did and would rather have lost the money they spent.

Sometimes it does you good to listen and see yourself through other’s eyes. You may just be surprised by what you discover.

Taxi ride

Well, just as this girl thought she’d done ‘good,’ the bus driver says I have to get off at the first stop and get a taxi. Now when I bought the bus ticket the woman made it quite clear (she even circled it on the bus timetable she gave me), that I should get off at the second stop; St. George (a church – I get the impression there are a few churches here, to say the least!)

baby-216876_1280Something tells me this is bit of a ‘swizz’ and the bus driver and taxi man are in cahoots, but I have no choice, my driver is going no further.

Pah!

€40…YES €40 later I am at the apartment.

Don’t get me wrong, me and Mr. Taxi man had a lovely chat. It turns out his daughter is studying ‘Biomedical Science’ at Leeds University, Yes, my hoe City – Clever girl!

What a very small world indeed…

He has three children like me and like me has two girls and a boy. His son is just finishing school and will have to do National Service and daughter no. two they are trying to get a position within the navy or something as she tried studying in the UK as a make-up artist, but gave it up. I don’t think he was too impressed.

i-105490_150The conversation sounded all too familiar and you realise that no matter where you go, people are all the sam. The same wants and dreams, the same concerns and issues. The language and the customs and the faiths and the cultures are wonderful manifestations of our uniqueness, yet below the surface there’s the universal experience of life that connects us to each other.

Underneath it all we are ONE…

I’m reassured.

Fleeced?!

But, I’m at this point smarting from the realisation I may have been ‘HAD!’ and I’m seriously worried about how I’m going to survive here.

pound-414418_1280This, I think was what my panic was about. I know how to penny pinch at home, but abroad?

And who wants to feel restricted in such beauty? But then I tell myself I am as confined and restricted as I think I am.

After orienting myself around the apartment, which is lovely by the way. Modern and very, very cleeeen! My kinda place. The lovely Theodora came up and introduced herself and gave me a bit of a run down. She’s from Eastern Europe, but says she likes the weather here.

A quick shower…

The panic rises again…

That first night out and dinner alone.

I talk myself down and take another couple of angel cards. Pretty Stupendous they are too: ‘Blessings,’ and ‘Archangel Michael.’

So off I pop, telling myself blessings are all around me, that Michael is with me and will take away my fear…

Dinner

I’ve just returned from dinner (yes alone).

greek-salad-689674_1280Halloumi, olives, pitta and hummus…delish! I DO love that cheese, and proper goat’s milk too, so no bilious belly and cramping later, but so very rich; I’m going to have to abstain and not indulge every day methinks.

At dinner I people watched and gave thanks for the lovely food and the very handsome cats that hovered like vultures wanting anything that might fall from your table. I had visions of the god almighty bloody scrap that would ensue if all five (or was it six?) of them descended on some morsel I might drop and I’m to put it to the test, but declined.

Being open to connection

psychology-789612_1280After eating and feeling very satisfied and just whilst I was just taking in my surroundings, a gentleman started to eat the grapes that hung from the roof of the restaurant. I did for a moment think they were real, but there were so many and they seems so perfectly round and plum and juicy, I’d deduced they’re fake.

Xenios offered me some (at least he wasn’t called Costas – That was the taxi driver!) and I have to say they were delicious, though a tad dusty, but what’s a little dust between new acquaintances? We chatted and he seemed to know quite a few people…he is also, it seems rather accomplished as a businessman as he seems to run a lot of different enterprises. Anyway, no doubt I’ll bump into him again as he has a water-sports business on the beach.

Reaching out

girl-843076_1280Conversation over, I walked back to the apartment in that profound darkness that there always seems to be when you’re on holiday and marvelled at the fact that I could clearly see the constellations and I was so grateful for the lack of light pollution. I mused how we can only connect if we are open to it. If I’d been fearful or resistant Xenios would not have approached me. Sure he probably does it with everyone, but for me alone, it was a welcome distraction from my nervousness and fear.

In what way could you connect? you could be the person who relieves a moment of anxiety for someone else. so consider the next time you pull back from reaching out due to your own nervousness or fears.

A decision

I decided to write-up my day in a diary, but then realised that perhaps this trip will contain significant learning & insights that I can share, so here goes.

Today has been about trust:

  • Trusting that the ‘other’ source is there to support me and to support all of us.
  • Trusting myself and my instincts to get it right
  • I was tested and thrown into strange and unfamiliar situations and with people I did not know…
  • This frightened me.
  • I was tired and not wanting the challenge of having to do this all alone.
  • I had to rely on myself and more importantly, to trust that the universe would create the best outcomes for all concerned.sueaking-482701_1280

She did…but the outcome would have been very different I suspect if I’d gotten into panic and continued to have negative thoughts when my fear arose.

Like the boy in the Polar express I kept feeling my way when all I wanted to do was give up or turn around and go back.

I stayed in gratitude, trusting that I’d be OK…

I now believe I will be just that…OK.

I swallowed my fear and ventured out, when I wanted to stay in and hide and give myself the excuse that I’d just arrived and I could go out tomorrow.

Instead, I pushed through my panic and fear and…

I ate well

I made a connection

And the crème de la crème… I found a vegan raw food restaurant on the walk home…

Guess where I’ll be eating from now on?

Kale chips a plenty!

23.24 UK time: 1.24 Pissouri time. Time to sign off

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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Last tie

Happy Sunday All,

This week I came across a blog post from a young 24-year-old.

Called ‘My last tie.’

neckties-210347_1280They were trying to make the last moments of  their life matter, so they posted some advice for the rest of us. Much of what he said resonated quite powerfully as much of ‘My last tie,’ were thoughts and musings I have tried to express here when I share the learning I have acquired on my journey.

However, they can never be stated too often.

So for today, I am going to reference the powerful words of the author of ‘My last tie’ and add my own insights:

“Don’t waste your time on work that you don’t enjoy.”

  • Why do we do it to ourselves? If we are to succeed in life at whatever it is we DO, surely there is a need for us to love whatever it is we are doing? When we do things out of obligation or duty we cannot possible DO our best nor be our best selves. We owe it to ourselves to be ‘in love’ with what we do, for when we do what we love we are passionate and dedicated. When someone has passion for what they do, the dedication to see it through no matter what and the focus to not be distracted by the naysayers and detractors, success naturally follows.

encourage-866765_1280“It’s stupid to be afraid of others’ opinions.”

  • When we pay attention to the opinions of others we lose ourselves.You see… the one thing I know, is that we cannot control others and that everyone has opinions. It stands to reason then that if you allow yourself to be caught in the trap of listening to and paying attention to others’ opinions of you, you will very quickly become bent out of shape. Eventually you will have with no real idea who YOU truly are, as you veer this way to that opinion and then that way because of someone else’s.
  • The only way to stay centred and sure is to follow the unmistakable beat and calling of your own intuition regarding what is right for you. Yes… you risk seeming ‘odd’ to everyone else, so what if it’s not ‘conventional,’ (who want’s to be that anyway?) In time, you will feel the joy of walking to your own beat and singing to the rhythm that’s within your own soul.
  • Soon, you’ll be so in love with your own life you won’t even hear the voices of the detractors and who knows… Maybe in doing so, you may well become someone else’s HERO/INE?

“Take control of your life Take full responsibility for the things that happen to you.”

  • The life you’re living today, in this very moment, is as a result of the decisions you made and actions you took in the past. OWN IT!
  • You cannot move securely and positively into the future of a life you want if you’re making excuses and blaming others for where you find yourself today. Of course the decisions others make, you can only react to, but there again, your reaction, physical or emotional, is your CHOICE to make.
  • You see when you take responsibility for where you are and accept ‘YOU‘ got yourself here, you are fully empowered because along with that thought, comes the realisation that you can simply ‘choose’ and ‘act’ differently to produce a different outcome in the future.

A New EndingSo choose today…Choose now… Take action…

Create a different outcome!

Move your body

  •  A lazy body leads to a lazy mind. Your body is the container for your wonderful essence. It stands to reason, that if you put food into a stale container, then no matter how fresh it was before, the food will go off. You cannot hope to put positivity in, if what you’re putting it into is already caked with negativity. Find an activity, no matter how unusual that makes you feel expanded and joyous and get up and GO!

    Most of all, don’t procrastinate!

    Let your life be shaped by decisions you made, not by the ones you didn’t. – Speaks for itself!

    divergence-899506_1280Life is NOW, not when everything is perfect, there is no such thing as the perfect time and if there was how would YOU know when in waiting for things to be ‘perfect,’ as you see them, you’re passing up on doors that have opened for you because you didn’t like the colour they were painted.

“Appreciate the people around you your friends and relatives will always be an infinite source of strength and love.” That is why you shouldn’t take them for granted.

  • Again, self-explanatory, but remember who was there for you. My hope is that you have relatives who are loving and supportive, but if the family you were born into are not there for you then focus your attention on the family that is…
  • Give them your time,
  • Give them your effort,
  • Give them your energy
  • Give them your love.

Don’t leave it till you’re close to choosing your last tie to decide your life is worth living!

I truly hope these words resonate…

I will repeat them time and time again until everyone or can influence in my own small way, is choosing the life they want and deserve and not one they accept by default. You see even just in the choosing and the creating you will experience energy and joy because you’re the creator. You’ll finally be the one in the ‘driving seat’ of your life.

Blissings & much love

Insightful Angel

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My Pledge – I am

Happy Tuesday all,

It’s Rather unusual I know for me to be posting today, but I’m feeling triumphant but exhausted. I’ve spent the best part of  4 hours searching google for my disappeared posts and copying, pasting and re-typing them. This process took concentration and patience and in this state I began musing.

You see I have a vision of what I feel my service to the world is and I’ve kind of in a muddled-not-very-clear way expressed it, but today I decided to GET CLEAR.When I got clear I knew I needed to declare it, so that I become accountable, so that you can call me to task and say: “You said you’d do/be X-Y-Z.” So below is my manifesto: My Pledge – ‘I AM’ statement

i-am-429698_1280I am

Loving, open space. I am safety, I am possibility & fearlessness.

I shine.

I am powerful beyond what my conscious mind can conceive. I am amazing; an example to others of human potentiality.

I am JOY!

I see the best of you, in ALL of you and support you so you feel free enough to allow your light to shine and your power to flow.

angel-645591_1280

I am the spark that ignites the potentiality in others, so they can stand; fully immersed in the completeness of the power they know is within and the abundance they know they deserve

I am present & respect the imperfect perfection in us all, reflecting back to you everything you can be, do & have, and in so doing, I propel you into the light of your own being

I am everything & nothing

I am full & complete.

I celebrate all of life, all of my feelings, all my wants and desires, all of my failings and successes.

All are mine & all are perfect because they belong to ME!

I am whole; I am good, I am OK

I am the lilting breeze, the raging storm and the soft milk moon because every part of me is a part of everything.

hands-423794_1280

I am Complete

I am ME

My hope for you

Is that you deeply connect with the meaning in my words and through them begin to connect with your own wonder. I commit to working with you to see your light and to use my skills and talents to support you so you can bring your talents, joys and light into the world, for as Marianne Williamson says:

I vow to lose my personal fear so, help me to help YOU and to DO exactly what my heart tells me I am here for.

22nd August 2015 you are invited here: 

A Space To B…Me

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

 

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The Question

Happy Sunday all,

leave-364178_1280It was Friday morning 8.50am; the first teaching period of the day. Another one of those sessions where I basically talk about life with the small group of pupils I have recently been assigned. We are fast approaching the end of the summer term. These 15/16 year olds will be on study leave in a week. They’re perched on the edge of a ledge called ‘life’ about to step off into their futures…

College, sixth form studies, work, apprenticeships and I felt, rightly so that there would be among them, some confusion and much trepidation.

For eleven years they have had the surety and comfort that the rules and systems of schooling bring. They’re institutionalised and now were being released into the world expected to know how to navigate life’s seas and steer their own ship. So, I asked told them I would not decide the topic of discussion that day, they would and that they could ask me ANYTHING…If I could answer it I would.

Well, I set myself up didn’t I?

One boy looked at me dolefully and came out with a whopper!

smiley-150663_1280The Question of all Questions

He said: ‘What are we supposed to do?

I could see the confusion and underlying fear in his eyes and knew my response to the question needed to assuage his fear, but create enthusiasm at the same time. But most of all I knew I needed honesty in response to the question because they he/ were trusting me to  prepare them for what lay beyond those school gates.

How does one respond to: THE QUESTION?

I responded adequately enough I thought.

There is so much more I could have said, but at the time with the need for spontaneity, this was the best I could do:

I told him we are here to learn…

We are here to use our feelings to show us what is right for us in this life; that their life is THEIRS and theirs alone and they know what’s best for them and who they choose to be.

The plea

blue-lotus-215460_150I pleaded with them to respect their own life, their own choices and in so doing understand that as they have the right to choose, so do others. I made it clear that regardless of the desires of those, who honestly DO think they have our best interests at heart, that they are here to decide for themselves. I told him that life is…in every moment a choice. And it is through the choices we make; it is in the way we respond to others, to situations, and events that we decide and discover, define and refine who we are in life.

I told him that they should go out and ‘Grasp Life,’ rush in full on; that there would be times of fear, but fear often meant they are being expanded and to not shy away from the new.

The Diamond – An analogy

I often use this to illustrate what life is when talking to young people. I find messages have more impact if they are

  1. Relateable and
  2. Create a vision

My diamond analogy goes like this:

Have you ever seen a diamond when it has just been extracted from the earth?

Well, it’s cloudy and of course dirty. There’s a lack of uniformity to its shape.

Something like this.

DiamondI explained that our expectations of the bright, shiny, faceted stones we have come to expect are as a result of ABRASION… the outcome of being chipped & chiselled, buffed & polished; that this abrasion takes time, but in the end we see the treasure.

I explained that in life, they would experience abrasion, they would be buffed and polished, chipped and chiselled, but that this would be necessary if they are to show the glistening, priceless gem of who they are which lies underneath. They got it! I hope you do too.

The great wrestle

lady-36446_150It is those situations which invoke fear, the ones they will have to wrestle with, the ones, which will make them feel they ‘Can’t’ which are the very ones which will ‘smooth them out.’ And they should always remember that they absolutely ‘CAN!’ if they believe it.

I made it quite clear that your ‘soul mate’ is one who challenges you and forces you to grow, to expand in the choices and decisions you are (sometimes forced) to make because they cause you to touch your ‘soul’ and decide who and what you are from a deep, albeit sometimes painful place.

It’s all worth it in the endfitness-332278_150

I clarified that life wouldn’t necessarily be easy, but if they remembered what I said and applied it, I guaranteed it would be worth it!

Life is a schoolroom.

We came to learn…

We come to make choices and

We come to create both ourselves as beings and the lives we choose.

Challenges, apologies and gifts…oh and a little fun!

I challenged them to take chances and as long as they did not cause pain, injury or upset to others, as long as they could ‘check in’ with themselves and know that what they were doing, in answer to the question and who they were being, was adding something positive to the world they would be doing just fine.

heart-63974_150I told them all they need be is themselves, make no apology for who they are and what they need and…

I told them they/we ALL have a gift, a gift to contribute to the world and their duty was to go out and discover what it was, that it may not bring fame or recognition, but it would undoubtedly bring happiness and to…

Bloody well have fun doing it!

I reminded them, that It’s fun and the joy it brings which is the compass that tells us we’re on exactly the right road…heading in exactly the right direction

Was it good for you too?

I could have said much more perhaps…but for now I hope today’s post creates many ‘Ah-ha’ moments.

margarite-74886_640If this resonates, then could you do me a favour.  Why not share it with a young person you know. They are excellent pretenders at age 15-20, but be assured many of them are unsure of their next step. It is our duty to prepare them, to be honest with them, to encourage them and to love them.

If this post articulates what you would like to say to your child, niece, nephew, grandchild, god-child, cousin, friend or neighbour then share it with them. Give them the gift of their own life…

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel

 

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Self-love

Happy Sunday all,

I don’t know about you, but being able to really feel in love with who I am, to truly cultivate self-love has at times been one of my biggest challenges in life.

2014-07-19 15.00.45From our conversations about ourselves and our actions towards ourselves and others, and when I stop and listen to the language we use about ourselves and others its obvious too that many, many of us find that to love ourselves, to honour the unique gifts we have, to be able to look into the mirror and say out loud, yes, out loud, ‘I love you,’ the most challenging action to do.

As we navigate our way through our experience of life we sometimes and in some cases, often ignore the lessons we receive that are tapping us on the shoulder and reminding us that we are responsible for caring for ourselves first, before all else and that what we just did/said/thought was not an act of self-love.

‘to thine own self be true.’

In order to have successful relationships with others we need to first of all have a successful relationship with ourselves. To really know and understand who you are and what matters to you. However this process takes time. We uncover the pieces of the puzzle one by one and together they then form the complete puzzle and the picture starts to make sense.

Who am I?2014-07-17 18.10.17

Seemingly, this is a simple question, but it is one of the hardest to answer. The answer needs to be one which is true for who you are right here and now. Keep quizzing yourself with this question, take a week, take two. It’s not something you will answer overnight, but if you’re determined to improve your perception of yourself and really step into the space of self-love you need to be honest.

What are the positive wonderful qualities you bring to the world and to your relationships? make a list of at least ten but ideally twenty plus. You’d be surprised how many of my students are unable to create a list of even ten qualities they really like about themselves when I ask them to do this.

You cannot begin to imagine how deeply saddened I am every time I do this. But I do it because it plants a seed and creates a realisation within them… that ‘self-love’ is the path to learning how to love others.

How can I expect to find and accept the love of another if even I can’t allow myself the space within to love ME? 

I have always held an intuitive belief. It’s one which my life experience has since taught me is true for all of us and that is that we all crave connection and ‘to be loved completely for who we are.’ That process starts with ourselves, so we need to look to at the qualities we feel we’d like to improve. However this list is restricted to two or three (for now). You see you need to be in a space where you can accept and love ALL OF YOU not just the bits you think others find pleasing or acceptable?

Can you look at those parts of you that are a ‘work in progress’ and love them too?

But, don’t be too hard on yourself, remember these qualities are often the ones that make us relatable and remind ourselves and others that we are human, we are mortal, we are fallible and that we are on a journey in the same way that they are. Most people find perfectionism really hard to connect with or relate to!

Recipe for Self-Love – (Five steps to steps to acceptance).

  1. flower-22656_150Be humble – Learn that you are not the ‘world’s expert on everything.’ Being humble not only makes it easier for others to relate to you, but you may actually learn something from listening. Setting yourself up as the ‘all-knowing’ oracle sets up a fear of failure and worry that you are responsible for everyone else’s woes. We are on our own path, but sharing the journey nevertheless. Being a ‘know-it-all.’ will not only make you tired, but distances you from relating to others ideas and points of view. Being humble shows you acknowledge that others’ stories, their journey, lessons  and experience are of value and in so doing you acknowledge and respect the importance of your own.
  2. blue-lotus-215460_150 Be honest – Being honest tells the world and yourself you are reliable. Your word is your bond. Being honest isn’t about denigrating or pulling down another in a brutal fashion. It’s about speaking and relating in an open but empathetic way, in a way that shows you are respecting the needs and intelligence of others. Honesty is an everyday practise its ordinary. It’s the act of not taking pens from the work stationery store cupboard ‘because they have loads of them and won’t miss one,’ It’s leaving the right change, it’s knowing even if others are not acting in integrity you are. This allows you to feel good inside and therefore makes it easier to find your way to self-love.margarite-74886_640
  3. Change the record  – Quieten the negative voice in your head by noticing when you tell yourself the self depreciating ‘stuff’ that keeps you locked in a prison of self-doubt. Let me ask you this, if a dear friend came to see you and asked you what you thought of them, what language would you use. Would you say ‘You’re too fat!’ ‘You talk too much!’ ‘You’re stupid?’ So why do you say it to yourself, Should you not be your own ‘best friend?’ notice what you say to yourself, catch yourself and then change the language into language you might use if you were talking to that friend. ‘I’m too fat –   ‘If you create a regular routine and do some light exercise, I’m sure I’ll see improvements in my fitness level.’ OR ‘I’m so stupid – If I re-read my notes then I’m more likely to understand the information presented.’
  4. heart-63974_150Treat yourself – How do you expect to graciously accept the compliments and gifts of your friends and loved ones if you don’t allow you to give to you? Allow yourself to enjoy life. Give yourself permission to simply experience joy and pleasure. Life isn’t about misery and suffering. We are here for a brief moment in time, so make the most of it. Treat yourself to that bubble bath, that concert or a day off on the sofa reading all day and no housework. Go out and let your hair down, eat the food you really like and make it a regular occurrence. How you treat yourself is how you will feel about yourself and ultimately how you allow others to treat you.beach-51956_150
  5. Give yourself a break! – Use the times when you were less than your best self as learning opportunities… Lessons. Experiences that you use to refine your choices and be the better person you are striving to be. There’s no use chastising yourself and making yourself feel worse. If you ‘drop the ball,’ occasionally. Decide if there’s a way to make amends, do so and then try to ‘do’ and ‘be’ better the next time.

Remember those that know better DO better!

Anais Nin once said:  “life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. That is a kind of death.”

Allow yourself to change and grow accept that you will change.

We are here on a journey and so loving yourself is a continuous process not an end point or destination.

Bliss-ings and much love,

Insightful Angel

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Purpose III – Soul whispers

Happy Sunday All,

Today we come to the last instalment of what (unintentionally, but happily) has turned out to be a ‘series of posts’ on your PURPOSE and how to find it. In this post I’ll give you an illustration, through my experience of how your soul will keep seeking and reaching for you until you listen. You see, your purpose is always trying to find you because it’s mission is to find it’s expression no matter how long it takes.

All you need to do is listen.

water-256195_150Like water, which always finds a way to seep through and finds its own level, find its way through even the most fortified of defences, through the tiniest of cracks, your soul will find a way for you find your purpose no matter what.

So, if I you’re meant to positively communicate and uplift as your purpose, but are not communicating your purpose positively due to choices that make you unhappy, If you’re not expressing in the way your soul knows you should, you WILL communicate, you WILL express, but may well communicate negatively through criticism and griping and passive aggressive behaviour. All signs of your frustration and unhappiness.

The under side of the coin

Perhaps your purpose is to express love through caring and support, but you’ve made choices that make you feel constrained or trapped, you may still find yourself in a caring role, but resenting it. Perhaps a ‘too young parent,’ whose children are a source of frustration or forced to care for an aged parent or ill partner before you’re ready to. You care for them, but grudgingly so, you care for them but resent it, you care for them and feel trapped. You’re impatient and frustrated and blame them for the loss of your ‘life.’

 

coins-163517_1280Perhaps your purpose is to learn how to positively balance wealth and power with love and open communication. You may find yourself, striving and achieving greatly. Amassing great wealth and place within you community & society & your chosen field of work, but your relationships suffer from a lack of authenticity. You’re unable to open up and confide in others due to a fear of being surpassed or being seen as vulnerable. Your colleagues and the people you manage work for you out of sufferance and due only to your title & position, but not out of respect for you as a manager and human being. You are admired for your success yet feel isolated and alone.

You’re still expressing your nature, but not consciously in the form and manner it should take and that’s where your misery lies.

The message in the misery

mourning-360500_150Your misery is a persistent prod. Like a little devil with a trident, it’s prodding and poking you in the backside and saying ‘Hey you…this isn’t who/what/how you should be. This isn’t how/what you should be doing.’ S/he’s nudging you to pay attention and make the changes necessary to find your bliss. You see when you are expressing in the positive and standing in your purpose its the best feeling in the world. It is bliss!

In my case the universe conspired with my soul which is a persistent little thing and had kept fighting to bring out my authenticity.

One day, I got the message. One day, I finally listened…

I finally decided I was worthy…

Don’t stop believing…hold on to that feeling!

As I grew, my childish belief in my innate gifts stayed on the inside of me and I never stopped dreaming. Though on the outside, in daily my interactions I allowed myself to express only the thoughts and feelings that were ‘allowed’ and acceptable to others for fear of the criticism and ridicule I’d experienced as a child

human-329851_150Serendipity intervened. One day when waiting for a friend to get ready to go out I was singing as usual. here was safe, I wouldn’t be told to ‘shut up,’ or laughed at as I had been so many times when trying out for the school choir or leading roles in the plays, plus she was in the shower down the hall, so probably couldn’t hear me. Or so I thought. She heard me alright and was so impressed by my voice she pressed me to audition for the band she had just joined who needed another singer.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Because of the many time this the many time I have felt this in my life, I am convinced that when you feel a great fear, it’s often because you are on the verge of greatness, on the verge of stepping into the ‘you’ you are supposed to be. Like the understudy who finally gets to go on stage after the leading lady has broken her leg, you know that this is your time to shine and it’d better be good. All the expectation and hoping and dreaming has converged at this very moment and it is terrifying as you now have to ‘PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!’2014-07-05 07.58.05

My friend persisted and would not take my excuses or protestations for any kind of answer. My soul shoved me out from behind the curtain and I found myself singing. Singing in front of groups large and small. Finally I was expressing vocally, expressing positively… My purpose is: To uplift others and connect them to the divine within themselves through the use of my voice. It was one small way my soul could touch and taste what it was I am here to do and it was the most delicious flavour!

Choices…Choices!

But I was still scared…The more I sang, the more I knew this was what I wanted to do and be, but the voices of my childhood, the lack of confidence in myself meant I allowed myself to take the ‘road most travelled.’ and I did the acceptable, the conventional.

Once the husband and family came along…then the singing disappeared too! though not without a serious fight to keep it a part of my life.

2014-09-20 08.09.48I had abandoned my dream… and instead adopted a more acceptable one. To go to university to become a professional to have the husband and the big house and the children. I was the clever one wasn’t I? so I should do the ‘right’ thing, the thing that will give me a better life, elevate me from the poverty, make me someone everyone is proud of… I achieved it all.

There was joy in it all, a sense of accomplishment, but there was always a feeling that something was missing. Always a restlessness, that was almost impossible to tame at times. Every so often there was that ‘nip’ the pinch of conscience that feeling that ‘there’s got to be more!’ I am more!

Divine timing…

Divine wisdom and divine timing are just that…Divine

watch-279813_150In hindsight (always ‘perfect’ vision) I can see the strategy my soul used to get me where I needed to be.

I had forgotten who I was. I had allowed myself to slowly disappear: I had given up my dreams to realism and common sense, my needs to family and my soul was dying…

When the yearning and the questions became so strong they could no longer be suppressed my soul conspired to make me redundant; TWICE!  at the same time my marriage fell apart and I was in a tailspin of divorce, emotional recriminations and upset and for some years was reeling from the impact of it all. Desperately trying to regain my equilibrium, but the universe knows what it’s doing.

It placed me in an position where I finally had to decide what I wanted, what I needed and who I needed to be. I decided to work in a way that would fit with the timetable of my children instead of the corporate, fast-paced environment I had been in and so it manoeuvred me into an educational environment. Then it persisted in sending me a message to teach. Over and over and over again, trust me, that was the last thing I would ever have thought of doing! Until I listened and took action.

Becoming a teacher was the easiest thing in the world. Everything happened like a well oiled clock. Another sign that you are on the right path is the lack of resistance and effort.

The search for the rainbow

rainbow-61783_640In this space I have found my voice and a joy I never thought I would experience. Six shows a day in front of the most critical audience ever…Secondary School Pupils! A Tough audience believe me, who have absolutely no qualms when it comes to telling you just how (insert another expletive!) you are!

So you see I was shown my audience after all, but the story doesn’t stop there. Firstly, Eight years on, the restlessness began again and I knew, though I loved teaching it as time to expand once more. I’d  served my apprenticeship with the toughest audience in the world, it was time to grow even more. The universe/my soul was sending me subtle messages that my journey was to continue.

I hadn’t reached the end of my rainbow… just yet!

The message is in the repetitions

Then, several of my students, on separate occasions stated that I’d be a good ‘Motivational Speaker’ or ‘Life Coach,’ as I had a habit of telling them of the infinite talent and beauty I see in them, I had them meditating, which they loved and would ask for, I had a habit too of giving them ‘life’ teachings in class and guidance on to how to live their best lives.

Then again… I was supporting a friend who had experienced  a relationship break-up. Their comments to me were how helpful I’d been that I should be…you guessed it, a Life Coach.’ They marvelled that I was  so supportive, so insightful and said that he would have happily paid for the advice I had given.

And then finally to September 2013 when my attendance at Success 2013 at the Excel arena (London), produced an epiphany…

2014-06-01 20.09.36My destiny is to be a Coach & Speaker…to motivate not just the handful of children in my English classes, but a whole plethora of people…locally… globally. To put the learning that my life experience had taught me out into the world so that others could learn from it. So they could improve their lives, find their purpose.

And yes…to — USE MY VOICE to spread the learning and connect others to the divine within themselves.

It ain’t over till it’s over, if you’re still here…it ain’t over!

When God, the divine, the universe speaks it will repeat the message. LISTEN and TAKE ACTION.

So I listened and now I’m talking to you and you know what, my soul and heart have never been so alive nor have I felt so completely happy. There’s a quiet knowing and I am aware that I have found my calling, my purpose.

Your presence here, reading this post is me sending my voice out to you, so you can learn to appreciate and trust that you have a purpose and that it WILL be revealed to you.

I guess the point I’m making is that you will continue to get the message, whether it be a lesson for your soul’s development or a path for you to follow, you will continue to get the message. It comes via your intuition, through the words of others, the lyrics in a song, a passage in a book and is always accompanied by a feeling… a knowing that somehow that is a message just for YOU. If you’re feeling miserable, stuck, frustrated, ask yourself what messages have I ignored? what has my inner voice been trying to tell me?

Silence is goldengold-163519_1280

One way to hear the messages of the divine is to practise being silent. It is in silence that GOD speaks to us.

Practise meditation or any other spiritual practise that brings your focus back to yourself.

The voice will become louder the messages stronger. They will strike a chord and resonate with your inner guidance system.

You will hear if you are OPEN…you have to LISTEN!

Through listening you will realise exactly WHY YOU ARE HERE

And that’s when the magic begins!

Blessings all

Insightful Angel 

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Purpose

Happy Sunday to you all,

Feeling Stuck?

2014-09-09 09.50.29

Are you feeling stuck?

Unsure of where you’re going or how to move forward, but sure in the knowledge that you can’t go back?

Are you caught in limbo? You know there is more, but can’t seem to grasp what it is you’re here for.

Are you dissatisfied with what you’re doing, how you’re living but have no idea what it is you want or how to change it You just know this isn’t right…there’s something?

Why am I here?

2014-09-08 11.48.35Today I’ve been musing over the subject of my purpose.

You have too haven’t you? Had that nagging voice say to you

“Surely there’s more to life than this… What the hell are you doing? Where’s your life going?”

If there’s one question we have all asked ourselves, at some point in our lives, it’s the question: ‘WHY AM I HERE?’

When we are unable to answer this, life can seem pointless. We lack direction, a sense of certainty and feel rootless and insecure. Without a purpose in life we drift like flotsam and jetsam and before long find ourselves participating in behaviours that do not serve our highest good to feel something… Anything!

I have long-held the personal belief that the proliferation of drug use, more and more extreme sexual encounters and gratification, overindulgence in food, the overuse and overstimulation of the senses via technology is and attempt to connect with the divine.  To have something make us feel complete, connected to ourselves and to something greater.

To feel at peace and that we matter. To truly know ourselves and our divine purpose.

i-105490_150Not for the likes of me!

The first thing you need to know is that each one of us HAS a purpose. A purpose is not reserved for the privileged few, for special people or the high-profile athletes, the movies stars and the wealthy entrepreneurs. YOU are here to discover this and live your AUTHENTIC life regardless of your start, upbringing, education or social status.

Though you do need to place focus on the material world in some way, after all this is the space we live in, but you need to get this.  Experiences in my life have taught me that this world is the training ground. The place where our soul is trained  and where it comes to do its work. The work of self-discovery and self-realisation, self-mastery.

What I have learnt from my time  here and through life’s trials, is that our soul’s lessons are designed to test us. As we break through each of our tests we become stronger, our belief in ourself and faith in our innate gifts grow more convincing and we begin to walk with surer steps in the direction of our dreams and our life’s purpose.

Deep down inside you know…

If you ignore the message of your soul it will continue to remind you.

I’ll give you an example from my experience:

As a child all I ever did was talk and sing. I was inquisitive, a dreamer, I loved people and would happily chatter away asking questions, being curious.

All I ever dreamt of was being another Judy Garland or Lena Horne (I loved the old movies full of glamour), but you get the picture. I saw myself on the Musical Theatre stage dancing like Cyd Charisse (I know…I’ve given the game away re my age, but hey, it can take being on the planet this long to finally ‘get it.’)

Anyway, as I was saying, all I did was sing and dream.sand-332500_150

Our path to our purpose is often the rockiest and most difficult to walk along. If you are to be an artist in some way you may find yourself born into  family of Philistines. If you are musical or sporting you may find yourself unsupported or your efforts trivialised, If your purpose is to share love with the world then you may find you have a start in life that is acutely devoid of love and safety.

This is so you to truly understand what it is and make your sharing all that more powerful because you DO understand what it is.

I realise now that is the universe’s way of ‘sharpening you up.’ making you strong and focused and determined, providing you with the ‘grit’ required to share the very best expression of your gift. Shaping you, so that when the time comes, nothing will shake you and you will ‘express.’ what you came here for in its fullest glory and power.

hand-307728_150And so I was constantly told to ‘shut up,’ as I talked too much. I was told that I couldn’t sing and reminded through our lack of means that that kind of a world was a world for ‘other’ people. People like us got jobs and hoped for a lifetime of security, to become ‘middle class’ rise out of the poverty and ‘working class ‘status we had in life.

And slowly, through the criticisms, taunts and ridicule of significant carers, teachers, careers advisers, who all knew more than I did, better than I did and who’s judgment and wisdom couldn’t be questioned, through them my innate knowledge of who I am and why I’m here was denied and ultimately I suppressed it.

Post-it notes and reminders

Despite my soul having an instinctive knowledge of its purpose, which was to use my voice to uplift the world. I learnt to be quiet.

Most people who know me would say ‘You quiet!’ I still talked, I was actually overly verbose, but it was empty talk. Acceptable talk. The deep-seated issues I wanted to discuss I couldn’t and didn’t, the dreams I had I swallowed and pushed down. As a result. Every year I suffered with Tonsillitis or ‘Strep throat.’ I was resisting my purpose and my soul was making me ill to wake me up to that fact.

Every year a post-it note: ‘This is not who you are meant to be!postit-169631_1280

Those of you in the know, will have guessed what it took me to my mid-thirties to begin to get the message. I suffered from tonsillitis because my communication centre was blocked. It felt awful, because for my soul, not being who I was supposed to be and doing what I was supposed to do, not fulfilling my purpose here was awful!

Our feelings are our barometer. You KNOW when something’s not right for you and your authentic purpose here. When you tell that ‘little’ lie and you get that brief tweak of conscience, when you take a bigger share, when you say something mean. Or perhaps you’re the person who’s on the receiving end. You’re allowing another to persecute or bully you; to control you life and your actions, to criticise or chastise you and it hurts.

Those pangs and twinges of guilt or shame, those feelings of hurt or upset are all

‘Post-it’ notes from your soul

and they’re shouting at you to make a change because whatever you’re doing or however you’re living or working are damaging you irrevocably.

So if you’re feeling stuck…feeling dissatisfied be thankful. Thankful because your soul is nudging you. Urging you to take a step closer to your purpose.When you do that dissatisfaction will disappear and the feeling of contentment and worth you get will be worth all the frustration, all the anguish and all the soul-searching.

Next week I will show you how my experience taught me to step into my purpose and how my soul never gave up on me. Yours isn’t either…so start listening.

Until next week.

Blessings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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