Tag Archives: connected

I am an alien

Happy Friday All

The day the Earth stood still is a film about an alien who lands on earth. It that captivated me as a girl. For over 50 years it has been one of my favourites. When I was younger I didn’t really get why, but  now, I get it!

Day-The-Earth-Stood-Still

The film’s message is one of love. Yes, L.O.V.E. Love. Unconditional acceptance and the freedom to be the way you were made to be.

The Plot: Basically An alien lands and tells the people of Earth that they must live peacefully in love or be destroyed as a danger to other planets. The ship is a Metal Giant, in it a ‘man’ like extra terrestrial delivers the warning insisting that they ‘come in peace’

Now these two beings do nothing wrong. They do not instigate anything; the man goes around interacting and being a wonderful example of how humans should behave. It illustrates how base and barbaric our way of being is.

BUT

Because we do not understand it…we decide to attack it and that’s when the trouble starts.

I don’t know about you but I’m fed up of being attacked because others fail to understand my actions as I express love. I am Mad, yes, Fuming at how often I have to bear witness (and received) the basest, most hurtful comments and despicable actions of others because they insist on judging others by their own insecure, base, greedy or evil standards.

We’re seeing it all around us…

Look at the world we’re living in!

So I’m getting it off my chest and declaring to the world ‘I am an alien!’

ufo-1448947_1280

There, I said it.

What I mean by this is that I believe that love is… that’s it.

Love is all; It’s all we have ever or will ever need. It would seem that thinking and being this way makes me an alien.

I am, it would appear an ‘other worldly’ being others sometimes assume has an ulterior motive or else they believe I am dealing in something unsavoury; that I and others like me are acting in a way that is strange. When all we aliens are doing is expressing what we feel is right and good showing love for our fellow citizens, our families, our friends and our neighbours

We say we believe in love and it’s a CROC!

Hypocrisy.

  • We cry and weep and wail for Paris and Turkey…. as we should.
  • In our millions, we share posts for ‘Black lives matter’ as we should
  • We get incensed when we hear of the genocide being committed and rightly so
  • We march to show how much we care and rightly so
  • We insist time and time again that we believe in love AND
  • Share profound videos on social media that remind us that L.O.V.E. is all the world needs and you know what

It’s a ‘Croc’ 

You see if we believed in LOVE, truly believed, we’d practise it – every day, in every situation, in every way, unconditionally.

But…

apple-570965_1280All too often love I see love showing up with conditions.

  • You can love me but not him/her/them/that
  • If you love me you won’t speak to…
  • I love MY people, but THEY are different
  • If you love me then you won’t be/do/say X, Y, Z
  • If you won’t do this and my way, you won’t see your children/family/mother/father/grandparents
  • Love is demanded
  • Love is withheld
  • Love is used to manipulate

Love has many forms.

The Greeks had at least four words for their interpretation of the different ways love can be expressed

  • Éros:means “love, mostly of the sexual passion.” Although éros is initially felt for a person, it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or an appreciation of beauty itself. Physical attraction as not necessarily a part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, “without physical attraction.”
  • Agápe: means “love: esp. charity; the love of God for man and of man for God.” Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one’s children and the feelings for a spouseeros-352030_1280
  • Philia: “affectionate regard, friendship,” usually “between equals.” It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle In his best-known work on ethics. Philia is expressed as loyalty to friends; (specifically, “brotherly love”), family, and community and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity.
  • Storge : means “love, affection” and “especially of parents and children” It’s the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring. It is almost always used to refer to relationships within the family. It is also known to express acceptance or putting up with situations, as in “loving” the tyrant. Storge is also used when referring to the love for one’s country or a favourite sports team.

On Being Alien

  • Being an alien means I know that love shows up as familial, as friendship, as care, as companionship.
  • It shows up deeply and casually, it shows up as sex and affection, it shows up in making a cup of tea or coffee
  • It shows up as staying up late to mark those last 10 papers
  • It shows up as telling someone they look lovely even if you don’t know them and will never see them again
  • It shows up as laughing at a friends joke, speaking kindly to a customer, rubbing your dog’s whiskers and every day…

It shows up perhaps 50-100 times a day

But, how many opportunities do YOU take to live in the Love you say you believe in?

Mantra

home-1132278_1280I am an alien

I make no apology for being an alien,

I will not stand down nor accept criticism & condemnation when I choose to love as compassion or affection.

I will not allow your sullied mind to make my expression of any connection to another seem seedy and unsavoury because you judge from within the dank walls of your own insecurity, hatred and fear

I will not abandon my sister or brother because their experience is not that of my own

I will not give up on LOVE whatever form it needs to take

So, why not join this alien?

Create a tribe of aliens who come to the world in love, who come in peace and take every opportunity, every moment of every day, to express it in all its wonder, its beauty and yes it’s LOVE.

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel

 

 

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Fun and Play

Happy Sunday All,

This will probably be a brief message today as I’m writing it in between ‘Gramamma’ duties. Cherub’s asleep and I’m pretty whacked, but earlier this week I realised that my 17 week-old angel had taught me a lesson. It was a lesson in why we should hold onto our sense of fun and play.

‘But we’re adults’ you scream, not children…Children PLAY!

A Spring in your step

freedom-307791_1280Yes, indeed they do, but as I played with my cherub I re-connected with many feelings I had forgotten about and left behind in childhood and it felt good.

I realised too that after having fun and play with our bundle of joy, I felt better. Sometimes I felt renewed and refreshed sometimes more peaceful and at other times I had ideas and felt more creative.

By far and away the biggest benefit I experience and the one that is very, very, very important to me is the deeper connection that takes place when I play with her.        Through our playing together there’s an exchange of affection and love.

Connectedness

girls-462072_1280We dare to look directly into each other’s in eyes and share a mischief or joke, and as we do so we recognise we are connected and that we love another. I am convinced that having fun and playing could help many couples who find themselves becoming distant from the reasons they connected and committed to one another in the first place.

There is a ‘feel good’ factor and the laughter generated (I have since learnt) releases endorphins. These endorphins create that lovely. ‘gooey’ sense of well-being and according to researchers can even relieve pain temporarily.

 

  1. Relaxation & Improved relationships

  • Feeling an increased relaxation after fun and play is another benefit that we, in these times of stress and pressure will most definitely benefit from. I mean when was the last time you ‘REALLY’ felt relaxed after having a good old ‘belly laugh?’ or collapsed in a heap of chuckles and satisfaction in the middle of a game with a friend or your partner or colleague? How much more improved would our communication and relationships be if we gave ourselves permission to have fun and played a little more?
  1. hand-782688_1280Trust and Compassion:

  • Sharing a good laugh with someone, creates increased feelings of trust and connectedness. Not only that the increased connection means improved compassion and ease between two people, This will surely make it easier to discuss those more challenging topics when they DO come up won’t it?
  1. Deeper more effective connection:

  • The greater feelings of compassion will mean there’s an increased effort to understand and be patient with one another and this ease means you’re more likely to come up with a creative solution to any issues you have to deal with. An ideal environment to cultivate whether it be in the home or in the workplace wouldn’t you say?
  1. magic-cube-1167224_1280Creativity and increased Stimulation:

  • We know that having fun and play is vital for successful development in children. But we all (and not just children) learn better if things are ‘fun’ for us to learn. Being more relaxed and playful means we’re better able to absorb information and stimulate our imagination, which means more effective and creative problem solving.
  1. Keeps you YOUNG!

  • When I have fun and play with my granddaughter I feel renewed and less fatigued than before. This I am sure is the same for anyone, so if for no other reason, having fun and playing is like drinking from the fountain of youth. Less wrinkles, more energy and an ever youthful ‘spring in your step!’blindfolded-37705_1280

There is saying attributed to George Bernard Shaw which says:

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.’

Challenges? I’m too busy having fun!

I’m sure if I did some research I’d find a whole host of other benefits and reasons to have fun and play., but I hope that the five I’ve discovered will convince you to make time to play.

toddler-878749_1280Life has its challenges, so why not’ ‘lighten up’ and nurture your inner child. Try it! I assure you, your week, your job, you home life will be better if you inject a little more fun and play into it this week.

Why not give it a go and let me know how you get on?

What have you got to lose?

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

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Criticism II

Happy Sunday All,

Whether we know it or not criticism has a ripple effect that permeates far wider and hurts at a far deeper level than we could ever imagine.

shame-799095_1280 Two weeks ago I first wrote about criticism and it’s effects on the individual and the psyche, how it warps the individuals perspective of life and lowers both their self-esteem and the value they place on themselves.

I DID promise to go further last week but ‘New-grandmamma-babysitting-duties’ took precedence, so this Sunday I’m making good on that promise and outlining how, in my view, criticism has a toxic effect for the wider society and not just the perpetrator or the victim.

Energy

energy-1101474_1280If you’re a regular reader of my blog you’ll know that I believe wholeheartedly that we are connected.

We and the energy we generate connects us to each and every other living thing; to the planet; to the beasts in the field; the birds in the air; the smallest shoots and the mightiest of trees.

If we are connected to everything then it stands to reason that that energy has the ability to cause a reaction in others; everything affects everything else; from the atmosphere and other living things on the planet, to other people and animals. So, not only is criticism toxic for the individual, but for everything that has been infused with a living spirit.

Who’s the real issue here, honey?

When we throw negativity out at another person, those people who are aware and practise non-judgement instinctively know that the ‘critic’ is usually pointing the finger at himself or herself.

index-315754_150People who are critical, judgemental or who can’t help but make derogatory comments are doing so because of their feelings of inadequacy. Often the very thing they’re criticising others for is an issue they may be wrestling with inside themselves. It’s an attempt to make others feel less worthy because they themselves are unsure of their own value and intrinsic worth, they are wrestling with issues and negative thoughts and feelings about themselves, that in fact, have nothing to do with the other person. It’s a defence mechanism a way of avoiding dealing with their own hurt or what they see as their own failings.

The critic is in fact bellowing to the whole world that they feel imbalanced and not in harmony with themselves or the world around them. They are operating from a place of ‘Self-Centredness’ not place which is ‘Centred’ in the self.

On being Centred

buddha-709861_1280If you’ve ever met a person who was centered you know that they have no need to criticise others. They know and feel their intrinsic worth and value and so acknowledge this to be true for and in others too! The critic speaks from the ‘EGO’ and looks out for number one at all times.

A being that is centred respects and honours & loves themselves and by so doing recognises that others have the right to love, honour and respect themselves too, but more importantly they KNOW that by sending out love, honour and respect, regardless of if they will have it returned to them or not; it just FEELS good when you do. So from a purely selfish perspective, let’s practise loving, honouring and respecting whenever we possibly can.

Be forgiving…people make mistakes. Why focus your energy outward and in a negative manner. Criticising won’t make it better and could, no WILL, make a situation worse, as you give away your energy and your power to a situation or persons, who in your eyes are not operating as you think they should be.

The Universal Consciousness

If what you send out you get back then…WHOAH! You do the calculations

Throwing negative energy into the universe can only serve to continually create situations of challenge and frustration for you as you send a clear message to the universe that challenge and frustration are where you are prepared to put your focus and energy.

Let’s talk vibrations for a minute…

If any of you have a pet, or children, you know that you don’t even have to utter a word and they will react to your vibration whether it’s negative or positive…

banner-1093905_1280Your poor pet Chihuahua will start to shake and cower as you slam the door after a hard day at work, or your Labrador bounds up to you excitedly, tail wagging and tongue hanging out in glee as your tone of voice alone, indicates you’re in an upbeat and happy space as you come in.

Yeah bad things happen…yes others do things differently to you…yes people make mistakes, but are you going to continue to add to that negative vibration or are you going to commit to raising your vibration, the vibration of others and the vibration of the planet?

What could possibly be the benefit of you choosing words of criticism and dissent? How can we hope to uplift the planet, our existence and our connection to one another if we choose to tear down and not uplift?

Begetting

Anger begets more anger and violence begets violence and criticism and dissent beget more criticism and dissent, so why bother creating more of what YOU DON’T WANT adding to and increasing the pain and suffering, that I think you’ll agree we have enough of in the world?

I love Rumi and one of his quotes that has always resonated with me is:

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”

waves-circles-285359_1280

So the next time you feel like railing against another person or putting your energy into criticism or complaint then remember that that energy will radiate out and you, as a ‘drop,’ may also be the recipient of that very same energy… 

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel

 

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Happy New Year

happy-new-year-1105854_1280The love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay

Love isn’t love until you give it away.

New Year’s Eve…

A spectacularly social and festive time of the year, yet for many and I have been among the many, this time of year can serve to exaggerate a knawing emptiness, or a feeling of frustration that you’re not exactly where you would like to be.

card-1081735_1280 It’s a time to give love to you

If you’re in the position of having to see the New Year in alone, my message is to you. I’d like to let you know that rather than seeing yourself as alone, see yourself as evolving.

Your physical state may be one in which you are with yourself, but we are one human family connected by our very essence and spirit, connected by our energy.

If as you reflect, whether you’re alone or otherwise and you find you’re in a place that makes you feel discomfort, then give thanks. I say give thanks, because it is when we are in a state of discomfort that we realise the need for change.

Discomfort

The feelings of agitation are designed to make you feel uncomfortable, so you take action, action that is designed to move you, shake you out of the circumstance that has you feeling dissatisfied and take action that moves you forward, action that will force you to step closer to where you are meant to be.

So for tonight do not feel that your circumstance is one of aloneness. I am here…thinking of you connected to all of you urging you to remember you are perfect and perfectly placed in this moment right now.

If you feel agitation then this is great as it means you will create a shift, a shift that will take you closer towards your greatness.

So for now be thankful and know that as 2016 rolls itself out you will become more expanded and more connected to the true you.

I wish you love and prosperity on your journey and look forward to you experiencing a deeper connection to yourself & to our wonderful human family.

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

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Aloneness

Happy Sunday all,

Today’s post is an attempt to at least scratch the surface of a situation that many of us are in, a state that we can suddenly be plunged into or a state that can creep up over time, but which none-the-less we can find a challenge to grow accustomed to…

It’s a theme that’s been revealed to me at least three times this week (even this morning as I read a post on LinkedIn) and so I thought it warranted some examination.

The State of ‘Aloneness’

2014-05-05 19.18.48Many, many people are living alone or find they’re spending significant amounts of time, perhaps more than they’d like, in their own company. “Nothing wrong with that!” I hear you shout and indeed there is nothing wrong with that, IF it’s a milieu of choice.

You’re right being alone can wonderfully liberating. It has the potential to be a space in which you really get to understand who you are: Your wants, needs and desires; an opportunity to tap into your deepest fears too and gain a 360’ perspective on yourself. This of course is vital if we are to have healthy, secure and long-lasting friendships and relationships. It’s true, unless you know and love yourself, you cannot hope to truly love another.

But, for some…

Just sometimes…

That aloneness becomes too weighty to carry.

It begins to feel like isolation and disconnection, especially if it is not a state or space person wants or when there is no deeply felt connection.

101 ways to aloneness

mourning-360500_150The state of being alone can manifest for many, many reasons or occur because a myriad of changing circumstances and it’s not just the elderly or middle-aged that can find they are now languishing in extended periods of isolation:

  1. Perhaps your friends’ life stage has changed. They now have responsibilities you don’t or are studying and you’re not, or they’ve moved away for study or work so you’re not able to connect as often.
  2. Perhaps you’re an ‘empty-nester’ and your children have left home and your partner has died or you have suffered a divorce leaving you in aloneness for much of the time once you return from work or whatever it is you do
  3. Perhaps you’re elderly and your spouse or significant other has died and you never had children or your children have moved away, or (as is often the case today) your children are not really bothered about connecting with you.
  4. Perhaps you’re shy and it’s a challenge for you to connect easily. You are respectful and converse as necessary at work or whatever, however socially your opportunities few and others neglect to invite you to events assuming it’s ‘not your thing’ OR ’S/he probably wouldn’t want to come…’
  5. Perhaps the opposite is true, you’re gregarious and lively company, so people assume you’re bound to have an invitation to X, Y, Z event; someone ‘MUST’ have let you know?

But guess what?

They all did what you did and made and assumption, they decided the responsibility wasn’t theirs and simply didn’t check (Obviously I’m not going to list 101 here, but you get my drift).

ginger-650475_1280The spinster and her cats

I know we’re all familiar with the stereotypical image of the spinster and her cats, alone and dead for so long no one discovers her for months. To be honest, though it’s used as a joke it’s far from funny when you think about it.

I mean to think that anyone is so cut-off, so disconnected from another human, so separate that no-one cares to look in on them or is aware that they are not around.

What does that say about the society we’re creating?

The Legacy of Noah

glass-ark-331937_1280Noah built his Ark and led the animals in two by two. I’m sure most of us are familiar with this tale regardless of Faith, but what it’s created is the concept of ‘otherness’ for those who find themselves alone or in a state of aloneness.

If you’re not part of a couple or partnership in some form you’re often penalised and made to feel ‘outside the norm:

  • There are supplements and extra charges if you want to travel alone, book a hotel room for yourself, but are audacious enough to want a double bed!
  • As soon as you meet relatives or friends you’ve not seen for a while the first thing they want to know is if you’re ‘courting’ or ‘dating’ or ‘seeing anyone’ YET – The ‘YET’ hanging in the air like a pregnant pause, taunting you with a gnarly, pointed finger and a ”Hmmm… so what’s wrong with YOU?”
  • Every form of media seems to focus on the pursuit of love (coupling) and or the loss of it (heartbreak) and much like the propaganda around body image & size, there is the equivalent  range and quantity of propaganda around single-dom and being alone

Join a club…

skydiving-658404_1280

       You suggest…

Get yourself out…

Get a hobby…

All possible solutions yes, however they come from an assumption that it’s just getting out that will solve the problem. Hobbies are often expensive, so can club memberships and getting out can mean yes you’re outdoors or at an event, but again you had to call on the courage to do so alone.

Ironically, when you’re out alone you’re less likely to have people want to connect with you.

I’m not going to patronise those who are in this situation by making helpful but actually facile suggestions. You see, the matter isn’t often that those in a state of aloneness are anti-social, often this is far from the case.

Connection

I’m making the distinction between being alone (circumstantial, sometimes active, can be positive, or by choice) and Aloneness (a persistent, perpetual state that seeps back into your every day existence and is often Hand to holdunwanted and or more likely to occur over time if you are often physically alone).

You see, as I often assert, we are here for connection. This is why aloneness can affect even those within a relationship.

*Real connection is: Communication with another in which you feel recognised and heard. You feel that you, your thoughts and dreams, opinions and efforts matter to someone.

When ‘Connection’ takes place, those with whom you connect support you, no matter the distance, no matter the crisis or triumph, Those who ‘connect’ with you don’t do so out of duty or out of a passive aggressive ‘surface’ support or love; (when really they doing little to support you or are actively sabotaging you through comments and actions).

hand-782688_1280When you ‘connect’ your emotional and spiritual energies are nourished and nurtured by the meaningful interactions you have.

If this type of communication is taking place, even just occasionally, then being ‘alone’ is a walk in the park and why you now see that ‘getting out,’ or ‘getting a hobby,’ will not necessarily cure the ‘aloneness’ state of being.

Interaction Vs. Connection

kid-165253_150When we’re involved in social activity, there’s a limit to the ‘depth’ a conversation or interaction will take. So though a person has a hobby, or is active in the community or has joined a club these can actually exacerbate the situation.

When you are out and connecting on a superficial albeit enjoyable level with others and I would not recommend a person does NOT do these things; once you return to the silence and just the gentle pulse of your own breathing it serves to highlight, in stark contrast…

‘Yes’ you Interacted,

but ‘NO’ you didn’t truly Connect!

*(See previous paragraph for my definition.)

globe-304586_150So what’s to do?

My suggestion is make the effort…

We can all recognise a that person who has an air of aloneness about them and if you don’t recognise that about the, but know they live alone (and so there’s the potential for aloneness to be a state they’re in) then instead of stepping away (coz they’re a real ‘saddo’ and you don’t want to be associated with them), step towards them!

Would it really take so much from you to just give someone an hour of your time?

Would it be such a hardship to try truly listening to the next person you speak to, so they come away feeling filled up and included as a member of the human race again?

Would it be such a challenge to open your heart?

So for today and the weeks ahead practise

CONNECTION!

girls-344334_150

Speak with your heart open

Listen with your heart open

Connect with another…

Heart to heart…

You may just be the one thing, the one interaction that shifts their feelings from

‘What’s the point? to ‘I have a purpose’

and in so doing you may just….

love-278579_150

SAVE A LIFE!

A chance to connect…

A chance to support.

Help the Angel Help you.

This is a select and intimate workshop to help you move int he direction you want for your future work or home or career…or just a space to breathe and take stock

Book you Tickets NOW – Only 28 places available

 

 

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

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