Tag Archives: Children

Legacy

Happy Sunday All,

Please Excuse me…I hope you’ll forgive my not posting last week, but one week and one day ago one of the most momentous events that I believe can occur in one’s life happened to me.

I became a Grandmother.

statue-572169_1280It’s been a week of transitions and changes and emotions and insights, which have left me reeling at times and awed at others. Don’t get me wrong, I have been aware of our little angel’s imminent arrival for the last nine months, but nothing and I mean nothing prepared me for the searing almost pathological love that consumed me when she did arrive.

Yes it was a little girl.

Beautiful…perfect and I believe with all my heart she is a gift handed down into the hands of my wonderful daughter and into our family, directly from the Angels themselves.

Roots

root-1013564_1280I have been in the privileged position of working with the next generation for the last ten years. This means I have been able to observe them, to know them and t love them intimately and to learn what we need to do for our children to survive, thrive and contribute.

Those children who have a less than secure, or indeed NO connection to their heritage, their foundation or roots, if they are not sheltered and secure as they grow, they are less able to find the self-esteem and worth required to allow us to teach them and to guide them. They have less self-love and this manifests in destructive behaviours, towards themselves, towards others, or both.

nature-1060244_1280Acorns

Like the acorns that fall from the Original Oak tree, they need fertile soil so they can begin to burrow their own fragile roots into the soil, they need time to feed and grow; become strong.

The strengthening and growing process is most successful when it takes place in the shade and protection of the branches of the mighty trees, which came before them. They are strong enough; they know the vagaries of the wind, they can read the seasons and know when and how to bend and not break, to store nutrients to survive the droughts and the storms, when to envelop the new sapling in their protective branches so they are not buffeted and destroyed by the elements beyond.

Saplings

If the older trees fail to do this, if they turn from the sapling and leave it exposed to the vagaries of the seasons before it is ready or able to deal with the searing sun or the biting wind then our poor sapling grows warped and misshapen, unable to grow tall and straight, unable to stand strong.

Grow model - New shootFor our little sapling the wind is harsh, not soothing and the sun is cruel, not nourishing as it was exposed to it too soon. Exposed when it had neither the strength, knowledge, nor experience to anticipate the damage it would suffer to and was left scarred by the meeting; blistered & burnt; limbs broken & weak…

Mighty Oaks

oak-1004607_1280If these ‘elders,’ the mighty strong Oak trees, which stand in the forest before them are loving and caring they will bow and bend, flexible enough to protect our young sapling, they teach it when & how to hide from the searing sun and the biting wind.

The sapling then grows knowing care, knowing love, secure; knowing and feeling protection. Our sapling faces the wind and the sun when it is ready, when it has the knowledge and skills and the strength to do so… the sapling grows straight and strong.

Legacy

Legacy: defined by the Cambridge dictionary as:

‘Something that is part of your history, or that remains from an earlier time’

I could have had mixed feelings when I think about ‘being from an earlier time,’ but for me this new phase of life; being part of her ‘history’ means the sapling (me) has become a ‘Mighty Oak’ and that ‘legacy,’  the passing on of the history, the sharing of ‘that earlier time’,’ is now my responsibility.

I am responsible for passing on the ‘legacy’ of who we are and who we were, to teach her where she came from, so she is able to navigate where she is going, to strengthen her roots and guide her through the wind and the sun, so she grows strong and straight, enabling her to become the magnificent ‘She’ that she will inevitably be.

I’ve been so moved by this new phase, it got me to wondering about what it means to me and what I hope to pass on to her and so I wrote it down..

Legacy

For Amelia:

I won’t care that you dirty your clothes

As long as I can sit with you on the doorstep in the fading sun, sucking on home-made lemon-ice, chit- chatting about everything and nothing

As long as I can show you how to mine your wonder and find your limitless potential

I won’t care what you do in your work

As long as I can teach you to do what it is your heart aches to do

As long as I can show you how to dream

I won’t care who you love

As long as I can teach you to do so with an open heart

As long as I can show you how to live with passion & fearlessness, always alive, always brave.

I will care when you are hurt by life and love and betrayal, but…

As long as I can teach you how worthy you are

As long as I can show you how to let your pain expand your soul, stay open to life, despite the hurt…you will rise.

I won’t mind (too much) that you sometimes forget to call or visit your ‘Ya Ya’

As long as I can teach you the power of your spirit

As long as I can show you the magnificence and the beauty of the Queens from whom you’re descended & whose fire & determination courses through your veins

I won’t care how many degrees you hold

As long as I can teach you to dance with life and express yourself in JOY

As long as I can show you how to live unrealistically and daringly, show you how to be limitless and carefree, show you how to not care one jot for the opinions of those who seek to restrict you out of their fear.

I won’t care (too much) to leave you…as it’s inevitable that one day I must

As long as long as I can teach you to keep on hoping, teach you to keep on dreaming, teach you you MUST keep wishing; knowing that there will always be a brighter day, knowing that you always deserve to see the sun rise

As long as I can show you how to truly ‘like’ whom you’ve become, look in the mirror and see the beauty in her…

Everyday…

Even when your life feels less than pretty.

I won’t mind that you’ll sometimes forget me

As long as you remember to ‘feel’ life through your grief and despair, as long as you remember the lessons I taught you

As long as you remember the loving kisses I gave you

As long as you remember the pressure of my arms around you

As long as you remember to look yourself in the mirror and see yourself with love and with acceptance.

As long as you remember you’re amazing and perfect

As long as you remember I am your friend

As long as you remember I’m always with you

As long as you remember…

I will ALWAYS…love you

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Family – University of Life

Happy Sunday All

This week I have been loving my connection with family. Now when I say family we have two. We have those we were born into and the family that we choose as we go through life. This week the clear message has been that our families are ‘Our University of Life.’

Jilly Cooper - Love your familyNow this post will be quickie as I have a family christening to attend later this morning. Another lovely opportunity to learn and I’m buzzed. Family is important to me, but the family connection and dynamic I’ve envisaged most of my life hasn’t always been present. This is perhaps true for many of you?

I’m sure we all have an ideal (sometimes one often given to us by the media and books) and idealised view of how we’d like our mother, father or siblings to be and behave, how we’d like to feel within the bosom of the family when we come together, but for some we spend our time nonplussed: ‘why this?’ and ‘why that?’

As you may have noticed, I am a reflector. An observer. I have always asked why this and why that both of myself and others and what I’ve come to realise about family is that it truly is the best learning environment for those of us who are seekers & questioner.

Reflections & Mirrors

flower-658687_1280 We all (well many of us do) have that one brother, sister, cousin, aunt or uncle; maybe it’s your mother or father, but there is often one person in you immediate or extended family that gives you that ‘NYJA’ feeling. Who twist up your insides and make you cross or annoyed, piqued or frustrated, yet when it happens you decide every time it’s not worth it and instead of asserting yourself you stay cross and smother the feeling.

In this circumstance you need to consider if it actually is THEY that are the issue or is it YOU?

You see, it’s not the other person and their actions where the learning comes from, but our reaction to it!

On consideration…

When those resentful feelings occur or those critical thoughts they mean one of two things

  1. This person is reflecting a trait within you that you are not dealing with
  2. Or they are reflecting a quality or trait that you can think about and choose not clear or reject?

I would suggest that if you have the ‘njya’ feeling when you meet or spend time in the company of the other person and you’re feeling negative in some way about them and or their behaviour/attitude then it’s more likely that the family university is showing you a quality within you need to deal with. “But I’m not like that!” I hear you scream,

…but perhaps it’s not in the way you think

Example: Anger

enraged-804311_1280You have one person who is rather quick to take offence and react or overreact to family situations. They maybe sulk and snap at everyone blaming and complaining or maybe they explode and terrify the gathering through intimidation. You find this really annoying and it ‘gets under your skin’ every time.

This does not mean you are like them, however, such a powerful reaction in you indicates that perhaps there is some unresolved anger within YOU that you need to deal with?

They are mirroring this back to you.

swan-293157_1280In the same situation your sister or brother or cousin or whoever has a very different reaction as you complain to them (stating how shocking so and so is being and how can they do this and etc., etc). They are much calmer than you more philosophical in their response than you are, saying ‘Or poor so and so, it’s so hard for them,’ or something similar. You find this even more irritating because you wanted them to support and agree with you and our feelings about the other person. How can they condone this when Mr/Ms Angry is terrorising the family?

Ying & Yang

The two reactions to the same situation illustrate the point I’m making.

yin-and-yang-145874_150Their reaction is calm and reflective. They see the angry family member as having qualities they have rejected, never had and continue to reject or have dealt with in a healthy way. They decided some time ago, somewhere in their subconscious that a violent or aggressive expression of anger is not something that they have within them or choose to have, so it’s simply something they can see and let go; they can objectively see it and sympathise with the pain that is nearly always the root of anger and angry outbursts.

Your reaction, because it creates a physical response within you is reflecting that you either haven’t dealt with your own anger or that you’re ignoring it, pretending you’re ‘not an angry person.’ and denying yourself a healthy expression of the anger we all must experience at some point.

Two interpretations:

  1. A conscious acknowledgment or a rejection.
  2. An acceptance or blind spot

Children

Three blessings!In the family university of life our children are often our biggest, most painful or most joyous lessons. Many texts I have read, say the energy and personalities of our children often show the energy and nature of the relationship between the parents at the time of their conception.

Similarly, as they grow, they reflect and mirror characteristics and qualities within yourself to look at and resolve.

When you observe your children what do their character and behaviours say about your relationship with your spouse or if you’re a single parent about your relationship with yourself? Your reaction to them will tell you.

  • Do you Love their characteristics and support them – are they mirroring the ‘good’ in you?
  • Do you resent some particular trait and as such are they mirroring something you need to deal with within yourself?
  • Or are they illustrating something you are ‘blind’ to and failing to acknowledge exists within you? If you realise you have this ‘flaw’ or characteristic, how will you then choose to ‘be’ in regard to it? Resentful meaning it’s not resolved or Accepting and loving yourself regardless but aware of it and working with and through it?

In Closing

buddha-708490_1280Well, it’s time for me to say ‘adieu’ and hope that today’s message has given you food for thought, but more importantly, shed light on why we react the way that we do.

When we observe our reaction(s) to the behaviours of our family, children and  friends, when we sit up straight and pay attention in lectures provided by The Family University of life we are given opportunities, another day and another chance to ‘Choose who we want to be!’

 

Blissings & much love

Insightful Angel

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A Father is…

Happy Sunday ALL,

No-one can escape that today is father’s day in the UK.

So we’re paying tribute to the men the ‘good’ fathers who stoically and more often than not silently, get on with the business of being ‘DAD.’

hands-407388_1280Billy Graham said:

A Good father is one of the most unsung, un-praised, unnoticed and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.’

I think, if you’ve been paying attention over the last couple of weeks you’ll know that I agree with him wholeheartedly.

This post is dedicated to the ‘Dads’ who, in the absence of a father in my formative years, have become a model to me in my latter ones of what it is to be a father.

So to:  The Richard Smiths, the Lee Arnolds, Peter Brodericks, Sam Leighes, ‘Christafaris’ – Chris ‘Piano man’ Camerons, Deane Tomlins, Minton Goodisons, Tony Barzeys , Bjorn Foxes, Dan Sherriffes, David Taylors, De-Napoli Clarkes, Derrick Armstrongs, Gary Grants… to any I have not mentioned accept my apologies.

DadWhat is a father…

From those wonderful men mentioned before I have come to learn that a father is:

A champion

A Gladiator who satisfies his innocent offspring’s deepest need for protection.

The fiercest advocate, who fights for his child’s right to be.

Is in love…

With the wonder of his offspring though finding the words to express, may oftentimes be the hardest thing to do.

But it’s there…

A deep gut-wrenching ache of admiration he gets on those increasing rare times that his child acknowledges how much he means to them.

Silent

In his adoration

He is his son’s first hero and teacher the man you look up to no matter that you now tower above him.

father-445096_1280He is his daughter’s guardian and the man from whom she learns how to love and be loved.

He embodies the ideas and the respect she should expect from the man who will replace him.

The perfect example of how she should be cherished nurtured and cared for.

He picks you up when you fall and let’s you know you’re OK

He makes the world safe

The one who’s approval you seek because you know he holds you to standards that are superior, that he wants you to be better than even he.

Is a gift and his greatest gift to you is…

to teach you how to live without him, that way he knows not matter what

You’ll be OK

A Good man

Your DAD.

To those wonderful Dads out there

Blissings & Much love 

Insightful Angel

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Fathers & Sons

Happy Sunday All,

Firstly, thank you for the overwhelming response to last week’s blog post. It’s fairly obvious that this week I am of course going to give some comment on my thoughts of the impact it has when fathers abandon their sons.

As usual my wish is that there is some learning and insight gained from my commentary so that we can help those coming to adulthood behind us with the lessons we’ve learnt and that they can gain insights far earlier than we did.

Two choices…

friends-52662_150Perhaps the greatest damage done to our society is when fathers abandon their sons. You see, we daughters have our issues and with them come the problems I outlined last week, but more often than not we still have some form of template that we can learn from, model ourselves on (or reject), in the form of our mothers; But for the abandoned sons more often than not they are left with two, often unsatisfactory choices.

  1. Relating & connecting to the ‘feminine’ essence and
  2. A painful search for some form of male image that they can relate to and model their male image on.

I say painful, because more often they are searching blind. They sense that they think, feel express and work very differently than the women who are the dominant force in their lives, yet have no idea what or how the ‘correct way’ for them to be, think, express and do may be.

Wrong, wrong and wrong again…

sad-72216_150Imagine the pain of feeling that you are perpetually ‘wrong.’ This isn’t by design you understand, but their mothers, sisters and Aunts are expressing and relating in ‘female’ ways and contexts. The boy child is expected to comply with this way of communicating and expressing. If he is particularly ‘male’ he could be chastised and criticised for this ‘maleness’ or else, to seek approval, he may well adapt his more natural mannerisms and instincts to express in a more ‘feminine’ way. Confusion and possibly repressed anger are a result of feeling ‘wrong’ or of thinking he has to suppress his natural  maleness.

If the dominant carer of an abandoned son is (usually this is the case) his mother and she feels particularly hurt or aggrieved by the actions of the child’s absent father, she may take her frustrations out on the son; especially if this son has mannerisms and traits like his father and ‘whoah betide him’ if he looks just like him!

In this situation the abandoned son can:

  1. Develop Self-Loathing, which he will mask by suppressing it. He will become outwardly compliant, but in reality loathing the feminine. As he grows and encounters other women in a romantic context he can develop into yet another who abandons. Rejecting the feminine essence and with no real idea how to connect to it, he fears yet another rejection and so leaves; perpetuating the cycle (for his own children) and avoiding the pain of his mother’s rejection that he never dealt with. This is the serial procreator Lurching form one woman to another because in reality he craves love and affection, but his fear of being deserted is the primary driver, so he connects, procreates and when the reality and responsibility of being a partner & father kick in he leaves. By the way… his ‘leaving’ can take the form of creating some form of upset in the relationship so he has an ‘excuse’ to leave. After all this is a ‘boy’ who doesn’t like who he is so in his mind it’s ‘YOUR’ fault why he has had to leave.
  2. madness-227958_150Become Cruel and Aggressive, as he has no idea how to express or deal with the pain his father’s abandonment created. In his own romantic relationships he may become an abuser. It is my contention that behind every act of anger or aggressions is a deep-seated pain that has not been faced and dealt with, but I understand that finding sympathy and compassion for someone, you’re being battered by your male partner, is nigh on impossible. His aggression is towards the father or indeed towards the mother who he blames for the father’s leaving. If this is the case he is more likely to have an intense dislike of women.
  3. Adopt a more Feminine way of expressing (I don’t mean he becomes an ‘effeminate’ male), but he may become the more passive responder in his adult relations with women, as he has learnt that this is the ‘appropriate’ way to respond. When he responded this way as a child he gained the approval and recognition and so this became his norm. This is fine is he encounters a more naturally ‘male’ responding female partner, but if not, he may find himself alone and rejected many times as women see him as not ‘man’ enough as he fails to be decisive and take the ‘lead’ in relationship dynamics or he may find himself dominated and manipulated by a more ‘male oriented’ female who is afraid of her own femininity, as being female represented some form of threat when she was growing up, so she adopted a more male form of expression.
  4. He will seek a template of ‘maleness’ from the only sources available to him outside of the home. This is invariably with other (abandoned) men who are just a blind and just as lost. For them the model of what it is to be male becomes the imagery created via the media or the ‘Supermales’ that they see in their culture or environment.

The ‘Supermales’

biceps-159681_150These ‘Supermales’ are particularly ‘alpha’ in their expression. They express their masculinity through stereotypical/cartoon ‘male’ activities) drinking & fighting & (often) criminality and like the boys who now mimic them, have gained their idea of what it is to be a man from the media or ‘streetlife.’ It’s only when this way of life causes them severe emotional and often physical pain that these men realise that this isn’t what being a man means and begin to make changes. Others never do and end up abandoned yet again by men (So called ‘friends’ who don’t know how to stay) when this life leads them into serious trouble.

Paternity – The need for ‘My’ Son

baby-22194_1280One thing I have observed in life is that men NEED to know their children are theirs. There is a pathological need for their offspring to have their genetic code and a burning desire to KNOW  that they are reproducing themselves in their own image.

The Step-Father can cause even greater and more deep-seated pain as he initially offers some hope and relief to the abandoned son who needs and wants someone to model himself on, but if this man is resentful of having to raise another man’s children he can become abusive, both physically and emotionally.

Imagine therefore the abuse and rejection that can occur for an abandoned son, who then has a to contend with a Step-Father who again abandons him emotionally and resents him physically.

The Manipulator & the Cuckoo

Stepping up to life can be fearful...What's next?

He manipulates the mother and her need for security (and her own issues with abandonment) through her children. He knows they’re here to stay but his resentment takes the form of taunting and bullying and favouring any children of his own that he may have with the son’s mother. The twice abandoned child feels like the Cuckoo in the nest instead of a part of the unit and this can lead to him again rejecting his male expression, not knowing how to express at all, as he was chastised for simply existing, or indeed deepening his resentment of his mother (for bringing the man into the home in the first place) and later other women.

Like the abandoned son, the twice rejected son will often resort to relating in one of the ways outlined before or may be even more adamant that he will be a ‘perfect’ example of manhood. However the template he was given was a 2-D template, so he clings to an idealised version of what manhood and fatherhood mean (simply an opposite one to the one he knew) and measures himself by unrealistically high ideals. Often he will refuse to ‘abandon’ as he sees it despite his situation being dysfunctional in a desire to prove to himself ‘I’M NOT LIKE THEM!’

Creating sons – in whose image?

fathers-day-761351_1280For the abandoned and twice rejected sons the path to manhood is excruciatingly painful. If you are a Father or Step-Father or about to become a Father carefully consider the template you are providing for your boy child.

If you abandon your son how does he learn that being a man means not only being a protector and provider, but also being someone who is adult enough to know that if his children are to have successful lives and relationships that he has to model this for them?

Real men

Your sons need to see you involved in loving interaction if they are to re-create it in their own romantic relationships. They need to see open and honest discussion and see mutually respectful discussions take place between you and their mother or your female ‘other.’

father-son-172349_1280You need to model for them that both parents deserve to have their needs met and that it is vital for both to be emotionally stable. You need to show them that ‘real’ men are neither bullies, nor martyrs.

You need to show them that real men cry and real men are secure enough to allow others to be themselves too. Real men are sometimes afraid, but real men act despite their fear.

Dedicated to the ‘Real men.’ I know

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

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What it means to be your mother

Happy Sunday all,

What it means to be your mother

roses-66527_1280It’s mothering Sunday in the UK and although I was originally going to talk on another topic today, I guess as the energy of the day is predominantly about appreciation for our mothers. I’ve decided that it would be a good thing and an appropriate thing for me to reflect on this area of my life as it colours every facet of every decision I make, every action I take and every word I speak. All are defined by the fact that I am a mother.

 manuscript-203465_1280A personal note

It occurred to me though that rather than define motherhood universally and discuss it from a distant, third-person perspective, I’d prefer to write a more personal note to my children and tell them what it means to me and has meant to be their mother. If what I have to say here resonates with you feel free to plagarise my words and let your own children know what they and being a mother to them means to you.

Where to start?

As a dear friend of mine always says…

’Indeed!’

Where do I start?

To Ella, Jake & Lily…

Being your mother has been THE most amazing, challenging, frightening, exhausting, exhilarating, hilarious, frustrating, heartbreaking poignant and beautiful journey I have undertaken.

wooden-boat-258953_150From the very beginning, being your mother meant being the best example of the values I hold to be true so that you could emulate them. I have always been determined to ‘walk my walk’ and not just ‘talk the talk.’ It is vital to me that I ‘show you how.’ The thing I strive for the most, is to one day have you three look at me with pride and say ‘That’s my mum…isn’t she amazing?’ You see your approval means the world to me. To know that the people I brought into the world acknowledge that I did all I could and they’re OK is all I wish for.

pregnancy-466129_1280The pleasure and the pain

From the moment each of you made the fluttering inside my womb, creating the feeling of nervousness and butterflies, the feeling that said ‘I’m here and I’ll see you soon’ to the moment you were placed across my breast and in my arms and until I leave this earthly plane you will receive nothing but my undying love and unconditional acceptance.

Being a mother is fraught with contradictions and expectations of what we are and should be. I have had to be strong and gentle, critical yet supportive, friend but at the same time mentor and guide, we’re cast as Madonnas, perfect and untouchable, yet we’re expected to be relate-able and ordinary at the same time.

In the beginningmother-429158_1280

In the beginning what it means to be your mother meant willing myself back from total and complete exhaustion and with you Lily potential death as I shook and trembled after giving birth. My body so truamatised it threatened to go into shock and the midwife and doctor rushing to do what they needed to avoid me fitting and slipping into unconsciousness. I was unable to hold you in your first few minutes of life because being a mother then meant maintaining my own.

What it means to be your mother…

It means becoming a willing vessel from which you get your source of life. It means for at least a year, you used my body so yours could be sustained, maintained and thrive, regardless of energy, or nourishment, or sleep or wellbeing every calorie or vitamin my body possessed became yours…

2014-04-29 18.46.39It means I got to marvel at your fearlessness as each of you fought to ‘get on with life’ and crawl, walk, read, feed yourselves say your first word, hold a pencil, make friends I was grateful to get to see all these firsts. The desire and determination to move forward you showed, despite falling down so so many times taught me perseverance.

From you I learnt to laugh more and be more, iron less and sing more. From you I learnt to give myself permission to be ‘authentically me,’ I had to if I wanted you to learn how to be that for you too.

What it means to be your mother…

It means I got to comfort you when you were sad or the others were mean to you or left you out. I got to remind you how amazing you are and to hug you. It means I cheered from the sidelines (too loudly for you Jake I know!) of Netball and football matches with hot flasks and sandwiches in biting gales and with wet, soggy feet, but nevertheless feel my chest swell with immense pride at your efforts, win or lose.

girls-204323_150It means accepting your right to independence and that you don’t always need me. Making sure you didn’t see how sad I was that you no longer wanted to kiss me before you ran into school, or to have me drop you off, but go it alone on the bus…but at the same time being relieved and proud because it meant you were OK… you were finding your feet and becoming the wonderful you that you are today.

What it means to be your mother…

It means enduring your hatred when I wouldn’t let you do what you wanted to do. It means I had to be resolute, knowing that my duty to you was to do my best for you, do what’s right and that my obligation is to be your guide and that means I can’t always be your best friend.

heart-297313_150It means enduring the humiliation of having to receive a hand out in order to eat and having my heart pierced with Ice and break in to million tiny pieces as you look at me in disgust.

It means surviving… surviving so I could be some kind of a mother, knowing that no matter what you needed a mother, needed ME to be your mother, when it becomes life-threatening to mother you in the same space as you.

It means making choices… choices which mean either outcome is unbearable to contemplate, yet still having to make that choice and making one that you think will benefit your children the most, regardless of the outcome for myself.

What it means to be your mother

It means suffering the anguish of not being able to create holiday memories with you. It means being maligned and criticised and it means swallowing the painful lump of shame as potentially my children and others look at me and think “She’s obviously a bad mother!” without any knowledge of the reality..

There’s so much more I could say, so many examples of what it means to be your mother but I think for the sake of brevity I had best leave it here.

coast-631925_1280What it means to be your mother…

What it means to be your mother is to hold undying and unconditional love in my heart and mind for each of you until the breath leaves my body. It means I will always be your fiercest champion and tireless support.

It means I will advise you and encourage you to always do the right things even though there may be an easier way. It means being the best example of what it means to be human that I can be and to persist in this example for you no matter the consequence. It means being the template from which you fashion your suit, it means being the footsteps that went before and guiding you with a steady firm hand, but knowing when to let you go.

 In closing…

love-544408_1280It means learning to surrender my ego or needs and to learn to trust…both myself and my life’s process and in so doing come to learnt to trust the same thing for you. It means I was fearless when the reality was I was fearful. I means I had to learn to strike a balance between being lax and pleasing you for fear you wouldn’t like me anymore and setting boundaries and limits…firmly and I hope always with love, so that you could develop strong and straight

It means I did this and will continue to do this regardless of whether or not we see each other, whether or not you choose to talk to me, whether to not you think I did my best, whether or not you approve of my life choices, whether or not I’m rich enough, or pretty enough or whatever enough you think you need me to be for your approval.

It means that I love you

 It means I am your Mother

Blissings and much love always

 Ma x

Message to my children

Three blessings!Happy Sunday everyone!

This post does ‘what it says on the tin!’ it’s a message my children a letter if you will, to let them know the main lesson I have learnt in life.

It’s every parent’s duty to at least try to make sure their children don’t make the same mistakes they did. Different ones, yes, but the same ones? That’s darn foolishness! Continue reading Message to my children

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