Tag Archives: Believe

Silent Saboteurs

Happy Sunday all

fears-701990_1280Today I’m going to comment on something that many of us experience, yet we are (consciously at least) unaware of it.

I’m talking about the fear of success

Who fears success? You holler. Well, you may be surprised to realise it, but many of us harbour unconscious Silent Saboteurs

They can manifest in the form of procrastination. You have a goal that you want to achieve or a level of comfort, stability, income that you know you are worth, yet you can’t seem to pick up the momentum you’d hoped with the actions you take to you reach your envisaged goal.

Why?

question-mark-460869_1280Sometimes we procrastinate not because we don’t want to take the necessary steps, (we’re often working like Trojans and can’t understand why we’re not making the headway we hope to), but become overwhelmed by the enormity of the task and are not sure where to start, or we are unaware (and this is the key to the challenge here) that on a subconscious level we feel undeserving and have some form of guilt or feeling of undeserving attached to receiving the abundance we so desperately want and know we deserve.

Ping-Pong

stamp-114438_150I’ll give you an example from my own recent experience: Through this experience I REALLY understood the importance to your psyche of owning your successes and celebrating your achievements.

It was a great surprise to suddenly find myself in a bidding war between two agencies Last Friday. As they batted the fee and the contract benefits backward and forwards, like game of ping-pong, I had moments of guilt and moments of panic.

yes-238374_150Both consultants were of course pressing for me to make an immediate decision and of course wanted me to decide in favour of THEIR client. In the end I had to tell them both to give me half an hour to have a ‘cuppa,’ breathe and really check myself internally so I decided that was ‘right for me,’ not one that was a reaction to MY own silent saboteurs, emotions or pressure.

During the process it became clear that one of my major silent saboteurs are feelings of ‘obligation’ ‘should do,’ ‘loyalty’ and ‘guilt.’

Let me explain:

I could choose to stay with the current organisation; in their favour were established relationships, familiarity etc. However:

  1. They had not retained my services until two days before the holidays, so I was unaware of my situation as I headed into the season
  2. When they did offer to continue with my services they offered to extend me by one month only, so come the end of Jan 2016, I could again find myself looking for another situation
  3. They offered to pay an increased fee only after my skills and talents were in danger of going elsewhere. After someone else saw my potential immediately and offered to pay what they felt my skill and abilities are worth.

Yet…

A New EndingMy silent saboteurs were kicking in and I felt ‘guilty’ at the idea of leaving because of the relationships I’d developed; I felt an obligation to ‘see it through,’ even though if I did so they could easily let me go and I wouldn’t have the opportunity to see it through anyway.

The new, brings with it feelings of exhilaration and excitement and I knew from experience that these are signs; my intuition was indicating that this is the door I should walk through for my personal development and expansion, so why the indecision?

Success means change

door-672999_1280Stepping up to the next level of success, however it manifests is something we’ve never before experienced and so it feels strange. We’ve all experienced that twinge of trepidation when we’ve had to deal with a new environment or situation, the doubt whether we are ‘up to the task’ do we have the skills, the intellect, the knowledge the confidence the style, the whatever…to make the grade and stay afloat in this new sea of experience?

Just keep swimming…

More often than not these fears are unfounded and we do more than rise to the occasion we may even find things are far easier at the ‘next level’ than we anticipated. We do more than float but swim deftly and easily. Before long it feels so familiar in this space we wonder why we ever had doubt in the first place.

The two faces of success

masks-833421_1280You see success has two faces: there’s the positive side, the side we focus on that keeps us ploughing on when we are in pursuit of the goal and are striving. We rarely see or think about the other side, which may have .

Yes there are potential negatives…

Fear of success is as I said and ‘UNCONSCIOUS’ saboteur and those fears are the ones that appear larger and more ominous because avoid evaluating them.

Anything we avoid, tends to grow stronger and more powerful. Anything you fear you tend to avoid (either consciously or subconsciously) and when we focus on avoiding we reinforce the avoidance behaviour…hence procrastination, indecision, stop and start patterning etc.

If you wish losing a significant amount of weight you may:

  • Subconsciously fear the potential criticism or jealousy from others you know who say they need to lose weight too…you may be ‘ejected from the club.’
  • What about the extra attention and praise you may receive? You may fear how to deal with it
  • What of the new clothes you will undoubtedly have to buy. If you situation is less than flush, this could be a challenging investment to have to make.

They may seem trivial, but these subconscious saboteurs can completely halt your achieving your vision, thought you are actively ‘doing’ on conscious level.

The incredible Shrinking Saboteur

One way and the way I was able to shrink and get rid of my subconscious saboteur was to face it. Anything we put a spotlight on or examine tends to shrink and we see the issue for what it truly is. More often than not it is less scary that we imagined and we are able to find the confidence to deal with the feelings, situation, status, abundance that have manifest for us.

Spotlight

hands-423794_1280Turning the spotlight on my feelings made me realise that I didn’t have to ‘DO’ or ‘Be’ any more than I was already. I realised, that I was being fought for because I had been the very best I could be, I had consistently performed with passion and love over a 10-year plus period. I understood that this was just reward for that and that if I was to achieve even more and feel comfortable with the level of success I envisioned for myself this was the next logical step. I needed to put this new overcoat on and get used to wearing it.

Resolutions

girl-843076_1280By acknowledging the hidden side to success, but more importantly (and this is where the focus should be) by counting and acknowledging the positives, the minute by minute, day by day, month by month successes I had already achieved I was able to shift my feelings of undeserving or guilt and so feel completely worthy of the abundance being offered to me.

This January… as we consider the year that has just passed and look towards our ambitions for the year ahead I urge you to look at your success. Own and celebrate, what you have achieved and how far you have come. You will surprise yourself I assure you.

By feeling joy and self-appreciation you consciously programme yourself to accept and step up to even more success to come.

Blissings, Joy and peace for 2016

Insightful Angel

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Gratitude & Bingo!

Pissouri – Cyprus

8th October 2015

22.32pm (local time)

Thursday

Happy Sunday All

Fear & Intuition

face-636095_1280Today I had the biggest and most profound lesson of my whole time in Cyprus thus far. I’ve had the strongest intuitive feeling, since coming away that something would happen. It manifest as the fear I mentioned in my previous post. I seemed to spend much of my time feeling as thought I needed to look over my shoulder.

Since then I convinced myself I’d be more positive and to see this time as a gift. A sort of pilgrimage; a present I would receive from the universe or some form of lesson or learning I would experience whilst here. Little did I know that it would involve BINGO!

Open to the new

Today started far too early…2am to be precise!

But the day finished better than it started.

By the end of the day I had learned a lesson… a powerful and profound one.

mountains-691501_1280After my trip to the village yesterday and sweaty walk down the hillside… a lovely, albeit steep (and with the speed and nature of the driving here) oftentimes treacherous stroll in beautiful 23’ sunshine. I must have become rather over tired.

Once back at the apartment I contemplated my game of Bingo tomorrow as I washed clothes and laughed quietly to myself as I thought about how I would Never have considered such a thing at home, yet when we in different circumstances whether or not by choice, we often allow ourselves to become freer, and open to ‘the new.’

I dozed for what felt like a couple of hours in the late afternoon, which was still very hot… NINE HOURS LATER! I woke up at 2am wide awake. Far too darn early for this girl, but I’m felt very restless.

I potter for what seems like an age and then make myself go back to bed.

8am…the day rolls out

sunset-67900_1920This is more like it! A far more civilised time of the day to rise.

Meditation…shower & dressing…more pottering and some food shopping and by 11.04am I’m sitting outside the raw food shop.

Breakfast.

Hmmm… decisions. Will it be a smoothie today or a raw cake? I opt for cake.

chocolate-811794_1920Chocolate & orange…delicious and every morsel is good for every cell in your body. The only truly ‘guilt free indulgence.’ This will have to be a non-existent treat from now on as finances are getting more than a little tight to say the least!

money-1005477_1920In no way had I been extravagant, but I knew I was under resourced when I got on the plane and I suspect that was a another reason I was reluctant to come in the first place. At this point I have €50 to my name.

Who wants to scrimp when you’re on holiday?

So, with half my cake eaten and many conversations later I venture back home to rest up and be back outside the shop for another lift to the village with Kate and Pissouri Village BINGO!

Flow…

water-256195_1504pm and we ‘tootle’ up the steep chalky cliffs to Kate and Ryan’s lovely home (names changed to protect the innocent!)

Now remember I only had €50. I had to take a €20 note with me as Kate had told me bingo would cost €6 and there’d be a meal. Not bad I thought. I’d of course then have enough to give her some money for fuel as well.

I offer to pay her as we get to the clubhouse, ‘we’ll settle up at the end,’ she says. ‘Go with the flow,’ I say to myself, a mantra I had been silently repeating all day…

’Trust the angels.’

Earlier that afternoon, I had taken out my angel cards and done a reading just before getting ready to meet Kate: ‘Blessings,’ ‘Spiritual Growth,’ and for the third or fourth time this week I had drawn ‘Guardian Angel.’

angel-819644_1920So, I told myself to stay in trust, that the universe would support me and to give thanks After all, money or no, I was still in paradise.

I felt easier…

6 games of bingo were going to be played in total and I quickly got the hand of it…

Game one played…

Game two & game three played and the €20 for a line goes, then the €50 for a full house. There are only two games left.

I accept I’m not going to win.

I relax…

Game four: Fifteen numbers will be called. I’m off to a slow start. Nothing on my board Is coming up. It doesn’t matter, it’s about the taking part and with the other players all calling the numbers and the little ditty that goes with each of them…

legs-766046_1920”No. 11 –  legs eleven;

Two fat ladies – 88” etc… this is fun, plus I’m getting an education.

Then a roll of numbers come my way and my board is looking very healthy, but so too are those of a few others and at least three of us need only three more numbers to win.

The next number…I mark it off, then the next…awww, not one of mine, then the next, is one on my board. Just one more, one number, just one and then…

bingo-491228_1920“YEEEES!”

The winner takes it all

€50 won!

Oh my gosh!

It couldn’t have been a timelier nor a more welcome win.

fitness-332278_150I was so grateful and knew, just KNEW my angels had supported me in response to my belief in them and the gratitude I had shown for what I did have.

Once I’d relaxed and I allowed the flow, my gratitude had been the catapult that launched my desires into becoming manifest. Once I let go and was present, allowing the ‘flow,’ the energy kicked in and what I needed showed up, in perfect and divine timing.

Gratitude, gratefulness & Thank you

Once back in the apartment “Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you,” over and over was all I could think as I cried in gratitude and drifted to sleep that night.

That choice is yours too…

marseille-142394_1920All I know is that we are supported. Not just me, or those who we consider ‘special’ who we feel have a gift or stand out in some way, but each one of us.

All we need do is:

  • Ask
  • Believe &
  • Be grateful

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

 

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Pissouri Pilgrimage No. 1

Happy Sunday all

greece-565926_1280Here’s the first instalment of my ‘Pissouri Pilgrimage’ posts. There was some learning and there was some insight, so for the next few weeks I’ll share them here with you.? My hope is that they help you in some way by shining a light on your thoughts about yourself or life, or give hope if you’re feeling less than confident. Maybe they will confirm for you how amazing life is!

4th October 2015

Pissouri – Cyprus 23.55 (local time)

Trepidation

I’m away as you can see.

cute-18833_1280For some strange reason I had a real feeling of trepidation about travelling and was almost in tears as I left this morning at 8am for my flight to Larnaca from Leeds & Bradford Airport. I had no idea why, I just felt so fearful; a complete feeling of dread was nestling in my chest and I nearly didn’t come. If it wasn’t for the fact that I would regret wasting the money spent and that I’ve had hassle changing bookings and etc. I think I may have ‘chickened’ out.

But, I’m here now.

10 days…alone with myself abroad.

It’s quite daunting and I think this is what made the fear rise up in me, even though I have travelled alone before, but that was some time ago.

I managed to re-assure and calm myself on the plane by playing with my angel cards, (I have brought them with me). Whether they provide comfort or not I believe they do and so that’s all that matters.

aircraft-479772_1280On the flight I sat next to Carol and her friend Margaret. Both phenomenal in their 70s (looking decades younger) and travelling to meet a friend who is very familiar with the island as she used to live here. They’ve both been before, but never alone and called me ‘brave.’ Hmmm… not sure I was feeling too brave at the time, but hey! I was still gripped by this in explainable fear, but you can’t exactly tell the pilot to turn around or stop the vehicle now can you?

Through someone else’s eyes

Airport terminal and they were aghast that I had not sorted my onward journey and had no idea how I was going to get from Larnaca to Pissouri. It turned out to be quite simple. A bus from Larnaca to Limassol and then a taxi to Pissouri. The bus was only €9, a bit better than the £74 round trip it was going to cost for transfers when I tried sorting it from sunny Leeds!

So there I am, pleased with myself that I’ve sorted the bus and I won’t have to spend a fortune and dip into an already sparse pocket. I’m still panicky, so I remember to be grateful and tell myself I’m lucky to be where I am and to be having this experience. I focus on reminding myself that the universe will support me and that things will turn out OK…

I believe it (kind of), but I say it to myself none-the-less.

woman-41891_1280It’s funny how we see ourselves differently to others. They saw a brave woman, going it alone, but because I was on the inside of me I focused on the nervousness I was feeling. Yet they would never have done what I did and would rather have lost the money they spent.

Sometimes it does you good to listen and see yourself through other’s eyes. You may just be surprised by what you discover.

Taxi ride

Well, just as this girl thought she’d done ‘good,’ the bus driver says I have to get off at the first stop and get a taxi. Now when I bought the bus ticket the woman made it quite clear (she even circled it on the bus timetable she gave me), that I should get off at the second stop; St. George (a church – I get the impression there are a few churches here, to say the least!)

baby-216876_1280Something tells me this is bit of a ‘swizz’ and the bus driver and taxi man are in cahoots, but I have no choice, my driver is going no further.

Pah!

€40…YES €40 later I am at the apartment.

Don’t get me wrong, me and Mr. Taxi man had a lovely chat. It turns out his daughter is studying ‘Biomedical Science’ at Leeds University, Yes, my hoe City – Clever girl!

What a very small world indeed…

He has three children like me and like me has two girls and a boy. His son is just finishing school and will have to do National Service and daughter no. two they are trying to get a position within the navy or something as she tried studying in the UK as a make-up artist, but gave it up. I don’t think he was too impressed.

i-105490_150The conversation sounded all too familiar and you realise that no matter where you go, people are all the sam. The same wants and dreams, the same concerns and issues. The language and the customs and the faiths and the cultures are wonderful manifestations of our uniqueness, yet below the surface there’s the universal experience of life that connects us to each other.

Underneath it all we are ONE…

I’m reassured.

Fleeced?!

But, I’m at this point smarting from the realisation I may have been ‘HAD!’ and I’m seriously worried about how I’m going to survive here.

pound-414418_1280This, I think was what my panic was about. I know how to penny pinch at home, but abroad?

And who wants to feel restricted in such beauty? But then I tell myself I am as confined and restricted as I think I am.

After orienting myself around the apartment, which is lovely by the way. Modern and very, very cleeeen! My kinda place. The lovely Theodora came up and introduced herself and gave me a bit of a run down. She’s from Eastern Europe, but says she likes the weather here.

A quick shower…

The panic rises again…

That first night out and dinner alone.

I talk myself down and take another couple of angel cards. Pretty Stupendous they are too: ‘Blessings,’ and ‘Archangel Michael.’

So off I pop, telling myself blessings are all around me, that Michael is with me and will take away my fear…

Dinner

I’ve just returned from dinner (yes alone).

greek-salad-689674_1280Halloumi, olives, pitta and hummus…delish! I DO love that cheese, and proper goat’s milk too, so no bilious belly and cramping later, but so very rich; I’m going to have to abstain and not indulge every day methinks.

At dinner I people watched and gave thanks for the lovely food and the very handsome cats that hovered like vultures wanting anything that might fall from your table. I had visions of the god almighty bloody scrap that would ensue if all five (or was it six?) of them descended on some morsel I might drop and I’m to put it to the test, but declined.

Being open to connection

psychology-789612_1280After eating and feeling very satisfied and just whilst I was just taking in my surroundings, a gentleman started to eat the grapes that hung from the roof of the restaurant. I did for a moment think they were real, but there were so many and they seems so perfectly round and plum and juicy, I’d deduced they’re fake.

Xenios offered me some (at least he wasn’t called Costas – That was the taxi driver!) and I have to say they were delicious, though a tad dusty, but what’s a little dust between new acquaintances? We chatted and he seemed to know quite a few people…he is also, it seems rather accomplished as a businessman as he seems to run a lot of different enterprises. Anyway, no doubt I’ll bump into him again as he has a water-sports business on the beach.

Reaching out

girl-843076_1280Conversation over, I walked back to the apartment in that profound darkness that there always seems to be when you’re on holiday and marvelled at the fact that I could clearly see the constellations and I was so grateful for the lack of light pollution. I mused how we can only connect if we are open to it. If I’d been fearful or resistant Xenios would not have approached me. Sure he probably does it with everyone, but for me alone, it was a welcome distraction from my nervousness and fear.

In what way could you connect? you could be the person who relieves a moment of anxiety for someone else. so consider the next time you pull back from reaching out due to your own nervousness or fears.

A decision

I decided to write-up my day in a diary, but then realised that perhaps this trip will contain significant learning & insights that I can share, so here goes.

Today has been about trust:

  • Trusting that the ‘other’ source is there to support me and to support all of us.
  • Trusting myself and my instincts to get it right
  • I was tested and thrown into strange and unfamiliar situations and with people I did not know…
  • This frightened me.
  • I was tired and not wanting the challenge of having to do this all alone.
  • I had to rely on myself and more importantly, to trust that the universe would create the best outcomes for all concerned.sueaking-482701_1280

She did…but the outcome would have been very different I suspect if I’d gotten into panic and continued to have negative thoughts when my fear arose.

Like the boy in the Polar express I kept feeling my way when all I wanted to do was give up or turn around and go back.

I stayed in gratitude, trusting that I’d be OK…

I now believe I will be just that…OK.

I swallowed my fear and ventured out, when I wanted to stay in and hide and give myself the excuse that I’d just arrived and I could go out tomorrow.

Instead, I pushed through my panic and fear and…

I ate well

I made a connection

And the crème de la crème… I found a vegan raw food restaurant on the walk home…

Guess where I’ll be eating from now on?

Kale chips a plenty!

23.24 UK time: 1.24 Pissouri time. Time to sign off

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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Belief

Happy Sunday All,

(Posted 6th October – but hey, better late than never eh?)

The Polar Express

Last night (3rd October) I watched the ‘Polar Express.’ I love that film, but you know when you watch something and get a different message every time you watch it. Well, last night I got a very different message, a message, which seemed to speak to me right where I am living in this moment.

baby-216876_1280You see, I am about to travel and for some reason, though I need the break I am experiencing some trepidation. I don’t know why, but I feel unprepared and nervous about the prospect of spending time in a foreign county alone. It’s not the aloneness you understand, I’m very used to that, but I’m not quite sure what It is.

The Polar Express is about belief.

A boy begins to doubt Christmas and the existence of Father Christmas and so ends up on a train to the North Pole and experience a series of challenges that test him until he ends up believing.

Believing

face-636095_1280 It’s about belief…believing in something even though it may be something you cannot see, or touch. At one point the boy is walking long the roof of the train and there’s a snowstorm. He can’t see clearly. There’s snow in his eyes and wind trying to blow him of course, but he’s searching for his friend and he knows that’s the direction she went in, so despite not being able to see anything, half blind and with no surety that he will find his friend he keeps going.

You probably do not know, but I made a significant change to my life just a year ago and I have created a new life and a new way of serving that seems like the right path for me. It is not without it challenges and at a time when thinks seems particularly ‘sticky,’ this lesson seemed very timely.

So, as I am wont to do, I had to share the insight:

What I took from that is that even though you may have decided on a path, a course of action a desire or a wish to keep going, keep believing, keep moving forward.

You may not be able to see the result, just blurry light in the distance and a vague belief that there is something out there for you then, you need to keep feeling your way. Keep your hands stretched out front, keep moving in the direction that feels right for you.

Forward motion

forest-249029_150Though the movement beneath you is rocky and unstable and you have no true idea where you’ll end up, keep pressing forward.

Fog

Despite being blinded by the fog and blown off course by the biting North wind, he kept moving forward. His belief held firm and he KNEW he would win through, though there was no evidence in front of him.

Just one step at a time.

Once he comes through and reaches his goal the train guard (played by Tom Hanks), says to the boy, ‘Sometimes the only things worth believing in are the things you can’t see.’

japan-808989_1280The goals we create for ourselves are often blanketed in fog, a shadowy ‘something out there,’ that we sense, but can’t quite make see clearly.

I guess that sense is the intuition, the inner ‘knower.’ Our little boy trusted his inner know and kept moving towards his goal, he kept believing in what he couldn’t see and was rewarded with reaching his goal

So albeit a brief post this week as I prepare to travel, I hope you get the message to keep going.

Your future or vision may be foggy now and perhaps you can’t articulate it as eloquently as you’d like to, but TRUST and keep moving in the direction of your dreams.

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

 

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My Pledge – I am

Happy Tuesday all,

It’s Rather unusual I know for me to be posting today, but I’m feeling triumphant but exhausted. I’ve spent the best part of  4 hours searching google for my disappeared posts and copying, pasting and re-typing them. This process took concentration and patience and in this state I began musing.

You see I have a vision of what I feel my service to the world is and I’ve kind of in a muddled-not-very-clear way expressed it, but today I decided to GET CLEAR.When I got clear I knew I needed to declare it, so that I become accountable, so that you can call me to task and say: “You said you’d do/be X-Y-Z.” So below is my manifesto: My Pledge – ‘I AM’ statement

i-am-429698_1280I am

Loving, open space. I am safety, I am possibility & fearlessness.

I shine.

I am powerful beyond what my conscious mind can conceive. I am amazing; an example to others of human potentiality.

I am JOY!

I see the best of you, in ALL of you and support you so you feel free enough to allow your light to shine and your power to flow.

angel-645591_1280

I am the spark that ignites the potentiality in others, so they can stand; fully immersed in the completeness of the power they know is within and the abundance they know they deserve

I am present & respect the imperfect perfection in us all, reflecting back to you everything you can be, do & have, and in so doing, I propel you into the light of your own being

I am everything & nothing

I am full & complete.

I celebrate all of life, all of my feelings, all my wants and desires, all of my failings and successes.

All are mine & all are perfect because they belong to ME!

I am whole; I am good, I am OK

I am the lilting breeze, the raging storm and the soft milk moon because every part of me is a part of everything.

hands-423794_1280

I am Complete

I am ME

My hope for you

Is that you deeply connect with the meaning in my words and through them begin to connect with your own wonder. I commit to working with you to see your light and to use my skills and talents to support you so you can bring your talents, joys and light into the world, for as Marianne Williamson says:

I vow to lose my personal fear so, help me to help YOU and to DO exactly what my heart tells me I am here for.

22nd August 2015 you are invited here: 

A Space To B…Me

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

 

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Happy

Just one of those days

umbrella-170962_150You know those days when you just don’t want to DO anything and you know you just want to be with yourself?

Well Sunday was one of those days.

I have these moments when my ‘spirit’ feels weak and tired and I just want to ‘be’ and not ‘do.

So I chose to honour my needs and I did just that.

Hence my silence till now.

At one point I had a moment of ‘But I’ve got to get my blog out!’ but despite that decided that I need to ‘walk the walk and do what I’m constantly advising you my readers to do, and that is to honour your feelings, wants, needs and desires.

Honour yourself

be-511557_1280How many times have I insisted that YOU honour yourself, that you respect yourself?

How many time have I insisted that you are worthy and deserving?

Well, I of all people should be able to honour the same for me;

I should be an example to you.

So I did just that and so this evening I am posting later than usual;  no guilt, no recrimination, no ‘should haves’ and I know it’s just as it should be…

The Divinity of Silence

bank-340779_150Most of Sunday I spent in silence. As I get older, I notice that silence is increasingly welcome in my life.

It’s comforting and in silence I learn, in silence I grow.

In silence I am learning to be with myself.

When I or we spend time with ourselves we begin to understand ourselves better. We learn about the thoughts that surface and hold us back from the reality and the life we really want, we learn to quiet those thoughts and control our thinking…

It’s in the silence that we learn what we truly want in this life, who we choose to become and it is in silence that we find the courage to choose it. The courage to choose happiness and not feel undeserving or guilty about doing so.

I’m still working on the courage bit!

The Challenge

At the start of the week I made a decision. I decided that no matter what happened that week I would stay feeling good feelings and I would insist on having happy thoughts. I decided to really test myself on ‘choosing’ my reality

At the end of last week, Thursday to be exact, a wonderful woman whom I got to know earlier this year and I had a long overdue conversation on Thursday, during which she advised me to watch a film called ‘Marvellous.’

IMG_0182It’s about a man called Neil Baldwin who refused to accept he had any learning difficulties and as a result lived so much in the moment his life became such a wonderful example of how your thoughts create your reality.

The line that really captivated me and re-affirmed my commitment to my challenge from earlier in the week, was his response when asked how he manages being so positive and cheerful all the time. He replied:

“I always wanted to be happy, so I decided to be…when something bad happens I just think about something that makes me feel good.”

Errr..Duh!

What a corker!

Genius…

It’s so obvious and yet so simple at the same time.

margarite-74886_640Thursday & Friday were tough and I could feel that there was growing within me the potential for me to slip back in to fearful thinking and if I’m honest a little panic. I decided to really focus on applying The ‘Baldwin Principle’ and concentrates on thinking (and more importantly – FEELING) happy thoughts to the point where I felt happy physically. Light and sunny and positive. I recalled memories and events that had made me feel good in the past and really immersed myself in them once more.

Well didn’t’ it work a treat!

By midday on Friday I received physical confirmation that my good mood was attracting positivity into my life, when I received a very pleasant surprise. An email arrived to say that some work I had done for an agency, some time ago (that I’d actually forgotten about) had been authorised for payment and the money deposited into my bank account. Whoop di do eh?

The Payoff

But guess what the BEST payoff was.

I felt great ALL DAYEVERY DAY! I was literally buzzing inside.

attractive-19161_640I had a smile on my face and a skip in my step so remember that we DO choose our thoughts, we CAN change them at will it just takes practise.

So, my advice to you for the rest of this week is collect a few memories and thoughts of events, situations, items, people who make you feel great and relive them.

Blanket yourself in the glow of them and smile, smile, smile your way to bliss.

For now…Happy Tuesday

Blissings & Much love

Insightful Angel

 

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Lovesick

Happy Sunday all,

Lovesick

2014-07-05 05.59.11One of my greatest moments of sadness is when I stand in front of a class of children and through the conversation I realise they do not love themselves. Like rest of us in society they are already ‘lovesick.’ I say ‘lovesick.’ because they have caught the bug and it’s  making them (and us) sick. It’s the thought that they’re not loveable, they’re not ‘good enough’ to be loved for who they/we truly are that is making us ill.

Our relationships and especially our love relationships are opportunities for us to decide who we are and choose who we want to be. If we assume (and I know this is true for me), we are here as creators, our relationships are a powerful vehicles which give us the chance to decide, as Neale Donald Walsche says:

“What part of yourself you’d like to see “show up,” not what part of another you can capture and hold.”

You did this…Oh yes you did!

you-151415_150In my experience of life and relationships I have learnt that our dealings with others are a space in which we have an opportunity to choose and to create ourselves in our own vision. However the reality for most of us is very different. The biggest challenge we face is accepting that ‘we,’ yes ‘we’ created our state of ‘lovesickness’ whatever situation we may mind ourselves in.

It’s not deliberate you understand and I for one am not exempt. Most of us look to find that ‘perfect one.’ The one that ‘completes’ us the ‘special one’ who makes us feel whole. This is the ideology that we feed into and which is re-inforced by the messages we receive every day.

Oh My gosh!

They just changed… they’re not the same anymore

How much pressure is that for our significant other? In not wanting to disappoint they/we try to be and do he things we know our partner says they ‘want’ and ‘need’ (both words which come from a place of ‘lack’ by the way!). We see our relationship as a place where we should be what we think the ‘other’ needs. We then spend so much time bending and shaping ourselves like a pretzel into our idea of what we think they want that we end up not knowing which way is up, who we are, or what we think we want to be.

mask-178262_150Finally, we get to a point where we can no longer keep up the pretence. It wasn’t deliberate, you understand, but eventually there’s the realisation that who we’re being in this relationship is not the ‘me’ we choose to project, the ‘authentic’ being that is expressing in a way that is acceptable to our soul and so we have no choice but to show our ‘real’ selves.

Our significant ‘other’ then says ‘we’ve changed.’ and I guess what? We have because we are now reclaiming our true selves and acting authentically, finally listening to the whisperings of our soul.

Giving up…giving in

It can take a few of these experiences before we realise that we’re going about it all wrong. When this happens most of us either settle for our lowest expectation or nurse the idea that we are fine with nothing at all. We choose companionship, give up on our highest and grandest vision of ourselves, we settle. The energy and vibrancy of youthful expectation has now diminished, (in most cases disappeared) and our passion, sexual enthusiasm and expression are now merely dying embers. We’re somewhere between our late 30s and our 60s and we’re tired!

 Relationships never really fail

walk-932965_1280This state of  being lovesick causes the relationship to end and one or other, or both’s feelings turn to resentment and then comes the anger!

Relationships ‘fail’ only because we stepped into them for the wrong reasons, not because (as is commonly thought), that they didn’t produce what we thought we wanted. In the main, most of us are looking for what we can get out of a relationship when we enter into it, instead of thinking what can we ‘add to’ it.

The only reason to have relationships is to decide who you really are and to choose to express that self through your reactions, thoughts and deeds.

The paradox

There is no need for A.N. Other to express who you are, however without that ‘other’ we are nothing as we have nothing against whose speech, actions  and reactions we can choose to express.

Therein lies the paradox.

What most of us do however is create our dream according to the needs, thoughts and desires (or so we think) of or beloved other instead of the needs, thoughts and desires of our selves. And so we are not a state of love and loving, but of being ‘lovesick.’

We spend our time measuring how well the other lives up to our expectations and how well we live up to theirs, when really we should test our relationships according to how well we live up to our own ideas of ourselves!

Worry only about yourself and how much you can give.

It’s of no consequence what the other is doing, being, having, thinking, planning, saying…what matters is what you are being in relation to that

Radical thinking…

The most loving person is the most Self-centred.

If you cannot love yourself then you cannot love others. So let’s get well, stop falling into ‘lovesick’-ness, stop seeing ourselves through the love of another. These may sound like familiar thoughts:

‘If I can love them then they will love me;

If I can please others then they will like me;

If I am loving towards others they will think I am loveable.’

We feel there is no-one that loves us. As a result we experience the reverse; Our thoughts become ones of self-hate (lovesick) because:

 The truth is you will never truly accept the love of another until you love yourself.

balloon-104609_640So, for this week (and the weeks to come) make your focus one of loving yourself. Speak gently to yourself, forgive yourself, accept who you are remember we’re simply learning lessons and being given opportunities to decide who and what we choose to be.

We’re her to experience who and what we really are. Who you are is who you choose to show yourself as according to the influence of everything that you experience.

So choose wisely…

Choose Authenticity

Choose YOU!

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel x

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Unity is the Key

Happy Sunday All

cropped-cropped-IMG_0348.jpgOne Family under the Sun

As you’ve come to know me through my writing here in this blog, you’ll have realised that I have a resolute faith in the infinite potential we have as human beings. You know I believe unity is the key to us achieving lives filled with service, support and love for one another and the creatures we live alongside.

You will have gathered that I believe we are powerful, light and deserve abundance and that this is achievable for all. You’ve come to understand that my conviction is firm in the knowledge that we are all deserving of this abundant life, but most of all, you will have learned that through my intuition and through the lessons I have learnt in life, that I have an absolute and unwavering belief that we are ONE human family.

Unity is the Keytrust-450352_1280

Yesterday I was privileged to attend an event which exemplified my long held beliefs.

This event was proudly hosted in my home town of Leeds, England. At this event the power and beauty of unity was perfectly demonstrated. Afrika Bambaataa, the ‘Godfather’ of Hip Hop graced my home town with his presence and as such, Leeds City Museum became a hub of love, acceptance, fun and peace for all.

The event was a powerful reminder that I am on the right path, that WE as a human family can come together for the betterment of us all and that ultimately ‘Love is all you need.’

I saw mothers, fathers, grandparents; aunties, uncles, children and grandchildren; melanin tinted hues of Ebony, Cocoa, Coffee, Toffee,Vanilla, White Chocolate and Cream; Solicitors, musicians, activists, teachers; Djs, Home-makers, B-Boys, B-Girls & Preachers; Photographers, writers, security guards & cleaners come together to pay homage. They came to reminisce, to sing; to laugh, to dance and show love and it was a beautiful, beautiful thing…

To witness this real-life demonstration, the living embodiment, that unity is the key to creating a society and a world that supports, loves & is of benefit to us all.

Old SkoolOld skool trainer

Through the unifying force that is music and in particular Hip Hop, we were schooled yesterday in how this musical genre in particular, brings unity hope, joy and change to individuals and communities.

Those of you in the know will be aware that the ‘old skool’ Hip Hop originated by the ‘Father,’ Kool Herc and the great ‘Godfather’ himself, who created the name ‘Hip Hop,’ Afrika Bamabaataa, saw their music as a force for unity and positive social change.

I remember in my younger days, just before babies, being shocked, moved and galvanised by the call to action in Public Enemy’s ‘Fight the Power,’ and relating to the feelings of oppression and fatalism expressed in ‘Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five’s’ The Message. Later on I was empowered by Queen Latifah’s U.N.I.T.Y and amused rightly or wrongly by the overt and cheeky ‘Salt N Pepa.’

Back in the day

I was reminded how much fun this thing called ‘Hip Hop’ is.

It reminded me and the likes of me who, if I’m honest skirted on the fringes of the movement, (in between having babies) why I no longer listen to it.

Today’s expression of Hip Hop, with it’s mysogyny, separatism, negativity, focus on money, violence ‘bling’ and ‘Gangsta’ attitude is so far removed from the original message the Hip Hop originals formulated ‘back in the day.’

The most deeply moving aspect of the day was the dedication to the movement and it’s core message of love and unity that these, now middle aged men and women were still passionately expressing, as well as being surrounded by cross-generational, cross-cultural and religious conversation and laughter. You couldn’t help but be drawn in by the love and acceptance so clearly felt in that auditorium.

Deeply movedSad-Face

We see the influence of Hip Hop everywhere these days and casually take it for granted. From TV advertisements for major retailers like Argos (check out this year’s Christmas advertisement) to the Evian Roller Babies campaign. This has the effect of diluting the message, so we lose the true essence of what the movement was about. Once again the media machine takes a form that was liberating, from the people and of the people to absorb it, transform it and spew it out into a message of commercialism.

A media opiate numbing us to the fact that our freedoms are being eroded and our lives even further constricted.

However, yesterday was an oasis of hope that those of us who believe we are more alike than different, that love unifies; it showed us we are not alone. Showed us that there are like-minded individuals using whatever medium is best suited to their expression of love out there, doing their ‘thang.’ Hip Hop is just one of those forms of expression, seek out the ones that best suit you and keep the message alive.

I was deeply moved by a video by and organisation called ‘Hip Hop4Hope’ who are enriching the lives of poor children in Manilla in the Philippines through the medium of Hip Hop and it’s message of Love and Unity. Take a look and support them and whomever you feel best express truth and love.

Working together

Let’s remind ourselves that we are here to love and support one another.

To work together for the furtherance of peace, love and unity.

I have to say a massive ‘Thank you.’ to Afrika Bambaataa for being the example and tireless advocate of these sentiments for over 40 years; To Zulu ‘King’ Monk for being the driver and organiser of the event, to Emma Walker for her tireless determination to see the project come to fruition and her indomitable spirit and a massive thank you to The Universal Zulu Nation UK and all those who did a wonderful job giving this ‘old gal’ a well needed shot in the arm of community loving, for reminding me just what ‘FUN’ is and re-affirming that whatever medium you choose, whoever you are or wherever you are all we need to remember is that

Unity is the Key!

Peace…

Much love and blessings

Insightful Angel

 

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Purpose III – Soul whispers

Happy Sunday All,

Today we come to the last instalment of what (unintentionally, but happily) has turned out to be a ‘series of posts’ on your PURPOSE and how to find it. In this post I’ll give you an illustration, through my experience of how your soul will keep seeking and reaching for you until you listen. You see, your purpose is always trying to find you because it’s mission is to find it’s expression no matter how long it takes.

All you need to do is listen.

water-256195_150Like water, which always finds a way to seep through and finds its own level, find its way through even the most fortified of defences, through the tiniest of cracks, your soul will find a way for you find your purpose no matter what.

So, if I you’re meant to positively communicate and uplift as your purpose, but are not communicating your purpose positively due to choices that make you unhappy, If you’re not expressing in the way your soul knows you should, you WILL communicate, you WILL express, but may well communicate negatively through criticism and griping and passive aggressive behaviour. All signs of your frustration and unhappiness.

The under side of the coin

Perhaps your purpose is to express love through caring and support, but you’ve made choices that make you feel constrained or trapped, you may still find yourself in a caring role, but resenting it. Perhaps a ‘too young parent,’ whose children are a source of frustration or forced to care for an aged parent or ill partner before you’re ready to. You care for them, but grudgingly so, you care for them but resent it, you care for them and feel trapped. You’re impatient and frustrated and blame them for the loss of your ‘life.’

 

coins-163517_1280Perhaps your purpose is to learn how to positively balance wealth and power with love and open communication. You may find yourself, striving and achieving greatly. Amassing great wealth and place within you community & society & your chosen field of work, but your relationships suffer from a lack of authenticity. You’re unable to open up and confide in others due to a fear of being surpassed or being seen as vulnerable. Your colleagues and the people you manage work for you out of sufferance and due only to your title & position, but not out of respect for you as a manager and human being. You are admired for your success yet feel isolated and alone.

You’re still expressing your nature, but not consciously in the form and manner it should take and that’s where your misery lies.

The message in the misery

mourning-360500_150Your misery is a persistent prod. Like a little devil with a trident, it’s prodding and poking you in the backside and saying ‘Hey you…this isn’t who/what/how you should be. This isn’t how/what you should be doing.’ S/he’s nudging you to pay attention and make the changes necessary to find your bliss. You see when you are expressing in the positive and standing in your purpose its the best feeling in the world. It is bliss!

In my case the universe conspired with my soul which is a persistent little thing and had kept fighting to bring out my authenticity.

One day, I got the message. One day, I finally listened…

I finally decided I was worthy…

Don’t stop believing…hold on to that feeling!

As I grew, my childish belief in my innate gifts stayed on the inside of me and I never stopped dreaming. Though on the outside, in daily my interactions I allowed myself to express only the thoughts and feelings that were ‘allowed’ and acceptable to others for fear of the criticism and ridicule I’d experienced as a child

human-329851_150Serendipity intervened. One day when waiting for a friend to get ready to go out I was singing as usual. here was safe, I wouldn’t be told to ‘shut up,’ or laughed at as I had been so many times when trying out for the school choir or leading roles in the plays, plus she was in the shower down the hall, so probably couldn’t hear me. Or so I thought. She heard me alright and was so impressed by my voice she pressed me to audition for the band she had just joined who needed another singer.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Because of the many time this the many time I have felt this in my life, I am convinced that when you feel a great fear, it’s often because you are on the verge of greatness, on the verge of stepping into the ‘you’ you are supposed to be. Like the understudy who finally gets to go on stage after the leading lady has broken her leg, you know that this is your time to shine and it’d better be good. All the expectation and hoping and dreaming has converged at this very moment and it is terrifying as you now have to ‘PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!’2014-07-05 07.58.05

My friend persisted and would not take my excuses or protestations for any kind of answer. My soul shoved me out from behind the curtain and I found myself singing. Singing in front of groups large and small. Finally I was expressing vocally, expressing positively… My purpose is: To uplift others and connect them to the divine within themselves through the use of my voice. It was one small way my soul could touch and taste what it was I am here to do and it was the most delicious flavour!

Choices…Choices!

But I was still scared…The more I sang, the more I knew this was what I wanted to do and be, but the voices of my childhood, the lack of confidence in myself meant I allowed myself to take the ‘road most travelled.’ and I did the acceptable, the conventional.

Once the husband and family came along…then the singing disappeared too! though not without a serious fight to keep it a part of my life.

2014-09-20 08.09.48I had abandoned my dream… and instead adopted a more acceptable one. To go to university to become a professional to have the husband and the big house and the children. I was the clever one wasn’t I? so I should do the ‘right’ thing, the thing that will give me a better life, elevate me from the poverty, make me someone everyone is proud of… I achieved it all.

There was joy in it all, a sense of accomplishment, but there was always a feeling that something was missing. Always a restlessness, that was almost impossible to tame at times. Every so often there was that ‘nip’ the pinch of conscience that feeling that ‘there’s got to be more!’ I am more!

Divine timing…

Divine wisdom and divine timing are just that…Divine

watch-279813_150In hindsight (always ‘perfect’ vision) I can see the strategy my soul used to get me where I needed to be.

I had forgotten who I was. I had allowed myself to slowly disappear: I had given up my dreams to realism and common sense, my needs to family and my soul was dying…

When the yearning and the questions became so strong they could no longer be suppressed my soul conspired to make me redundant; TWICE!  at the same time my marriage fell apart and I was in a tailspin of divorce, emotional recriminations and upset and for some years was reeling from the impact of it all. Desperately trying to regain my equilibrium, but the universe knows what it’s doing.

It placed me in an position where I finally had to decide what I wanted, what I needed and who I needed to be. I decided to work in a way that would fit with the timetable of my children instead of the corporate, fast-paced environment I had been in and so it manoeuvred me into an educational environment. Then it persisted in sending me a message to teach. Over and over and over again, trust me, that was the last thing I would ever have thought of doing! Until I listened and took action.

Becoming a teacher was the easiest thing in the world. Everything happened like a well oiled clock. Another sign that you are on the right path is the lack of resistance and effort.

The search for the rainbow

rainbow-61783_640In this space I have found my voice and a joy I never thought I would experience. Six shows a day in front of the most critical audience ever…Secondary School Pupils! A Tough audience believe me, who have absolutely no qualms when it comes to telling you just how (insert another expletive!) you are!

So you see I was shown my audience after all, but the story doesn’t stop there. Firstly, Eight years on, the restlessness began again and I knew, though I loved teaching it as time to expand once more. I’d  served my apprenticeship with the toughest audience in the world, it was time to grow even more. The universe/my soul was sending me subtle messages that my journey was to continue.

I hadn’t reached the end of my rainbow… just yet!

The message is in the repetitions

Then, several of my students, on separate occasions stated that I’d be a good ‘Motivational Speaker’ or ‘Life Coach,’ as I had a habit of telling them of the infinite talent and beauty I see in them, I had them meditating, which they loved and would ask for, I had a habit too of giving them ‘life’ teachings in class and guidance on to how to live their best lives.

Then again… I was supporting a friend who had experienced  a relationship break-up. Their comments to me were how helpful I’d been that I should be…you guessed it, a Life Coach.’ They marvelled that I was  so supportive, so insightful and said that he would have happily paid for the advice I had given.

And then finally to September 2013 when my attendance at Success 2013 at the Excel arena (London), produced an epiphany…

2014-06-01 20.09.36My destiny is to be a Coach & Speaker…to motivate not just the handful of children in my English classes, but a whole plethora of people…locally… globally. To put the learning that my life experience had taught me out into the world so that others could learn from it. So they could improve their lives, find their purpose.

And yes…to — USE MY VOICE to spread the learning and connect others to the divine within themselves.

It ain’t over till it’s over, if you’re still here…it ain’t over!

When God, the divine, the universe speaks it will repeat the message. LISTEN and TAKE ACTION.

So I listened and now I’m talking to you and you know what, my soul and heart have never been so alive nor have I felt so completely happy. There’s a quiet knowing and I am aware that I have found my calling, my purpose.

Your presence here, reading this post is me sending my voice out to you, so you can learn to appreciate and trust that you have a purpose and that it WILL be revealed to you.

I guess the point I’m making is that you will continue to get the message, whether it be a lesson for your soul’s development or a path for you to follow, you will continue to get the message. It comes via your intuition, through the words of others, the lyrics in a song, a passage in a book and is always accompanied by a feeling… a knowing that somehow that is a message just for YOU. If you’re feeling miserable, stuck, frustrated, ask yourself what messages have I ignored? what has my inner voice been trying to tell me?

Silence is goldengold-163519_1280

One way to hear the messages of the divine is to practise being silent. It is in silence that GOD speaks to us.

Practise meditation or any other spiritual practise that brings your focus back to yourself.

The voice will become louder the messages stronger. They will strike a chord and resonate with your inner guidance system.

You will hear if you are OPEN…you have to LISTEN!

Through listening you will realise exactly WHY YOU ARE HERE

And that’s when the magic begins!

Blessings all

Insightful Angel 

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Purpose

Happy Sunday to you all,

Feeling Stuck?

2014-09-09 09.50.29

Are you feeling stuck?

Unsure of where you’re going or how to move forward, but sure in the knowledge that you can’t go back?

Are you caught in limbo? You know there is more, but can’t seem to grasp what it is you’re here for.

Are you dissatisfied with what you’re doing, how you’re living but have no idea what it is you want or how to change it You just know this isn’t right…there’s something?

Why am I here?

2014-09-08 11.48.35Today I’ve been musing over the subject of my purpose.

You have too haven’t you? Had that nagging voice say to you

“Surely there’s more to life than this… What the hell are you doing? Where’s your life going?”

If there’s one question we have all asked ourselves, at some point in our lives, it’s the question: ‘WHY AM I HERE?’

When we are unable to answer this, life can seem pointless. We lack direction, a sense of certainty and feel rootless and insecure. Without a purpose in life we drift like flotsam and jetsam and before long find ourselves participating in behaviours that do not serve our highest good to feel something… Anything!

I have long-held the personal belief that the proliferation of drug use, more and more extreme sexual encounters and gratification, overindulgence in food, the overuse and overstimulation of the senses via technology is and attempt to connect with the divine.  To have something make us feel complete, connected to ourselves and to something greater.

To feel at peace and that we matter. To truly know ourselves and our divine purpose.

i-105490_150Not for the likes of me!

The first thing you need to know is that each one of us HAS a purpose. A purpose is not reserved for the privileged few, for special people or the high-profile athletes, the movies stars and the wealthy entrepreneurs. YOU are here to discover this and live your AUTHENTIC life regardless of your start, upbringing, education or social status.

Though you do need to place focus on the material world in some way, after all this is the space we live in, but you need to get this.  Experiences in my life have taught me that this world is the training ground. The place where our soul is trained  and where it comes to do its work. The work of self-discovery and self-realisation, self-mastery.

What I have learnt from my time  here and through life’s trials, is that our soul’s lessons are designed to test us. As we break through each of our tests we become stronger, our belief in ourself and faith in our innate gifts grow more convincing and we begin to walk with surer steps in the direction of our dreams and our life’s purpose.

Deep down inside you know…

If you ignore the message of your soul it will continue to remind you.

I’ll give you an example from my experience:

As a child all I ever did was talk and sing. I was inquisitive, a dreamer, I loved people and would happily chatter away asking questions, being curious.

All I ever dreamt of was being another Judy Garland or Lena Horne (I loved the old movies full of glamour), but you get the picture. I saw myself on the Musical Theatre stage dancing like Cyd Charisse (I know…I’ve given the game away re my age, but hey, it can take being on the planet this long to finally ‘get it.’)

Anyway, as I was saying, all I did was sing and dream.sand-332500_150

Our path to our purpose is often the rockiest and most difficult to walk along. If you are to be an artist in some way you may find yourself born into  family of Philistines. If you are musical or sporting you may find yourself unsupported or your efforts trivialised, If your purpose is to share love with the world then you may find you have a start in life that is acutely devoid of love and safety.

This is so you to truly understand what it is and make your sharing all that more powerful because you DO understand what it is.

I realise now that is the universe’s way of ‘sharpening you up.’ making you strong and focused and determined, providing you with the ‘grit’ required to share the very best expression of your gift. Shaping you, so that when the time comes, nothing will shake you and you will ‘express.’ what you came here for in its fullest glory and power.

hand-307728_150And so I was constantly told to ‘shut up,’ as I talked too much. I was told that I couldn’t sing and reminded through our lack of means that that kind of a world was a world for ‘other’ people. People like us got jobs and hoped for a lifetime of security, to become ‘middle class’ rise out of the poverty and ‘working class ‘status we had in life.

And slowly, through the criticisms, taunts and ridicule of significant carers, teachers, careers advisers, who all knew more than I did, better than I did and who’s judgment and wisdom couldn’t be questioned, through them my innate knowledge of who I am and why I’m here was denied and ultimately I suppressed it.

Post-it notes and reminders

Despite my soul having an instinctive knowledge of its purpose, which was to use my voice to uplift the world. I learnt to be quiet.

Most people who know me would say ‘You quiet!’ I still talked, I was actually overly verbose, but it was empty talk. Acceptable talk. The deep-seated issues I wanted to discuss I couldn’t and didn’t, the dreams I had I swallowed and pushed down. As a result. Every year I suffered with Tonsillitis or ‘Strep throat.’ I was resisting my purpose and my soul was making me ill to wake me up to that fact.

Every year a post-it note: ‘This is not who you are meant to be!postit-169631_1280

Those of you in the know, will have guessed what it took me to my mid-thirties to begin to get the message. I suffered from tonsillitis because my communication centre was blocked. It felt awful, because for my soul, not being who I was supposed to be and doing what I was supposed to do, not fulfilling my purpose here was awful!

Our feelings are our barometer. You KNOW when something’s not right for you and your authentic purpose here. When you tell that ‘little’ lie and you get that brief tweak of conscience, when you take a bigger share, when you say something mean. Or perhaps you’re the person who’s on the receiving end. You’re allowing another to persecute or bully you; to control you life and your actions, to criticise or chastise you and it hurts.

Those pangs and twinges of guilt or shame, those feelings of hurt or upset are all

‘Post-it’ notes from your soul

and they’re shouting at you to make a change because whatever you’re doing or however you’re living or working are damaging you irrevocably.

So if you’re feeling stuck…feeling dissatisfied be thankful. Thankful because your soul is nudging you. Urging you to take a step closer to your purpose.When you do that dissatisfaction will disappear and the feeling of contentment and worth you get will be worth all the frustration, all the anguish and all the soul-searching.

Next week I will show you how my experience taught me to step into my purpose and how my soul never gave up on me. Yours isn’t either…so start listening.

Until next week.

Blessings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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