Tag Archives: Authentic

When you’re done

Happy Sunday All,

There’s an incredible exhalation and settling into yourself that takes place when you finally realise that

When you’re done, you’re done!

let-it-be-594529_1280Oprah has a saying: “Let go and let God,’ and for some reason it’s a phrase that has stayed with me for over a year after first hearing. After wrestling with a challenge that for so many years I seemed to ‘get wrong’ and despite effort and meditation and all kinds of ‘spiritual’ methods, I just couldn’t seem to find a solution to.

Frustration

despair-862349_1280It was a situation that drained and exhausted me and left me feeling wanting and inadequate. All around me others seemed to master this issue, it seemed to come to them relatively easily, they manifested the solution and continued to do so, yet for some reason this eluded me. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how kind or cheerful (putting out positive energy into the universe, knowing it would be returned to me), no matter how much detachment I exercised or how many times I focused on my vision and tapped into ‘positive’ feelings to go with it.

As you can imagine this was not only a source of frustration, but a source (despite using every fibre of my being to keep up an equilibrium and stay aligned to the spiritual beliefs I hold true) of a shame and feeling of unworthiness that piqued and left me feeling like a fraud.

You know you know

rock-403773_1280You see I knew, in the very fibre of my being, that “The law of attraction.” That “What you put out you get in return;” I knew, just KNEW, that all these pillars of my beliefs were not empty epithets. That these practices worked and was universal and true for ALL of us, so if that was the case why wasn’t I getting the results I envisioned? Why was I still challenged by this state of affairs? Why was I still rolling that immense boulder uphill?

One day…I became angry.

That’s another thing. Many of us who are walking through this life on a ‘Spiritual’ pathway have no idea what to do with anger. Indeed we often deny it or suppress it, we feel ashamed that we even feel it, because aren’t we on a path to enlightenment and shouldn’t ‘feel’ like this? We are an ‘examples’ to others of grace and calm and acceptance aren’t we?

But I was P*ssed! To say the least!  (excuse the Vernacular!)

I was done!

And when you’re done –  you’re done!

I’d  come to the end of my tether; I had no rope left;

SO…

I let go…

2014-04-29 18.35.30The space of ‘When you’re done, you’re done’ is a place where you discover you have no fight left. You give up pushing and the same obstacle around the same old track, you give up fighting the same fight…

You’re so sick and tired and tired and sick of hearing yourself:

  1. Saying the same old things,
  2. Moaning the same old moans,
  3. Complaining about the same old complaints….

On…and on…and on…and on…and on

If you’re actually bored with yourself and angry with that incessant, chattering, vile voice in your head.

That’s when you know you’re done and…

When you’re done…you’re done!

It’s a strangely liberating feeling.

YOU LET GO and as Oprah says: “YOU LET GOD

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No! I haven’t suddenly had a religious conversion, you understand, the phrase simply serves to illustrate the point that you ‘GIVE UP & GIVE IN’ and in the process of letting go you give yourself permission:

  • Permission to stop feeling guilty – That you’re not where you should be, or done what you think you should have ‘by now!’
  • Permission to feel the immense, delectable peace that comes with ‘letting go.’ Letting go of the trials and the fight, letting go of the pushing and the challenge and the strain and the effort and the suffering.
  • Permission to allow another solution to manifest and open up for you
  • Permission to sleep more and cry less, to breathe more deeply and eat less (great for improving the waistline.)
  • You give yourself permission to relax more and focus on what you DO want instead of what you don’t
  • Permission to ‘flow’ and let go control
  • Permission to be more authentic, more real, more you; no excuses and no apologies.

hands-423794_1280

Consider this:

  • Is there some area in your work or life or relationship(s) that deep down you know you’re ‘flogging the proverbial dead horse?’
  • Is S/he not going to shift their position…they’ve told you so over and over again – BELIEVE THEM!
  • Is S/he not going to change though they keep promising? Do you know deep down it will take years even if they did? How much more time can you afford to invest in the situation? the relationship, in them?
  • Is the bureaucracy/bullying/ at work not going to ease off any time soon?
  • Will that friend not change and become more enlightened and kind and accepting of others? Have they told you ‘this is who they are’ but you keep trying to control the situation the outcome, the person?

Do you recognise any or all, of the above? If you do

STOP

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It’s a clear sign you’re done

Liberation

children-214437_150Letting go and knowing that you’re done is the most liberating thing that can happen to you. There’s a physical release, a relaxing of the ‘holding,’ a letting go of the tension.

You get to focus instead, of what you don’t want, on channelling your energy clearly on what you DO want,

So too, with your feelings you begin to see that there are some you want to own and others you’d happily ditch…

  • You’re learning
  • You’re growing
  • You’re done

Elsa-FrozenIn being ‘done’ you re-focus your energy and recover your verve. Yes, you may have to do a bit of ‘facing up.’ And taking responsibility, after all, YOU made the choices you did, but along with this is an immense exhalation and a sinking into the space you should have occupied all along.

Here… you create and dream and wait and in the waiting your intuition tells you when and how you can now choose to be FREE.

Happy Easter all

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

 

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My Pledge – I am

Happy Tuesday all,

It’s Rather unusual I know for me to be posting today, but I’m feeling triumphant but exhausted. I’ve spent the best part of  4 hours searching google for my disappeared posts and copying, pasting and re-typing them. This process took concentration and patience and in this state I began musing.

You see I have a vision of what I feel my service to the world is and I’ve kind of in a muddled-not-very-clear way expressed it, but today I decided to GET CLEAR.When I got clear I knew I needed to declare it, so that I become accountable, so that you can call me to task and say: “You said you’d do/be X-Y-Z.” So below is my manifesto: My Pledge – ‘I AM’ statement

i-am-429698_1280I am

Loving, open space. I am safety, I am possibility & fearlessness.

I shine.

I am powerful beyond what my conscious mind can conceive. I am amazing; an example to others of human potentiality.

I am JOY!

I see the best of you, in ALL of you and support you so you feel free enough to allow your light to shine and your power to flow.

angel-645591_1280

I am the spark that ignites the potentiality in others, so they can stand; fully immersed in the completeness of the power they know is within and the abundance they know they deserve

I am present & respect the imperfect perfection in us all, reflecting back to you everything you can be, do & have, and in so doing, I propel you into the light of your own being

I am everything & nothing

I am full & complete.

I celebrate all of life, all of my feelings, all my wants and desires, all of my failings and successes.

All are mine & all are perfect because they belong to ME!

I am whole; I am good, I am OK

I am the lilting breeze, the raging storm and the soft milk moon because every part of me is a part of everything.

hands-423794_1280

I am Complete

I am ME

My hope for you

Is that you deeply connect with the meaning in my words and through them begin to connect with your own wonder. I commit to working with you to see your light and to use my skills and talents to support you so you can bring your talents, joys and light into the world, for as Marianne Williamson says:

I vow to lose my personal fear so, help me to help YOU and to DO exactly what my heart tells me I am here for.

22nd August 2015 you are invited here: 

A Space To B…Me

Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

 

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Commitment

Happy Sunday All,

Love-is-an-unconditional-commitment

You probably know that I write about the things I’ve learned on my journey and share with you because I hope that what I’ve learned will help you on your journey in some way.

What I choose to write about often comes instantly or there’s a theme that repeats itself in the conversations I have or overhear, or the information or articles I read.

As I went through my week one word kept re-appearing: ‘Commitment.’

It came up both a topic in my life but also in the conversations I have heard others having about their own. As I mused about the nature of the word and what it means it occurred to me that it’s a state we often say we’re prepared to enter into, but what does ‘Commitment’ really mean?

 The dictionary defines Commitment as:

  1. A willingness to give your time and energy to something that you believe in or a promise or firm decision to do something  OR
  2. Something that you must do or deal with that takes your time

When we commit to something or someone it means there is an expectation…

Commitment- After the mood has left youWhat you’re doing is making a promise, a promise to consistently and continuously spend energy. You’re saying that you believe in the project, or person or relationship and that you’re prepared to put in the time and the energy to see it through to the end; to realise the vision of the project, or relationship that you subscribed to.

How often though, do we commit in words and yet our actions fail to back them up?

 Commitment & Love:Commitment - Lincoln

With anything we want, whether it’s something we’d like to create, achieve or do means that invariably we create a vision beforehand. Most of us have an idea or an outcome in mind. Yet, more often than not we say we’re committed whilst in the feelings that go with creating the vision.

What we’re actually committing to is the feelings we’re experiencing whilst in the vision/creation stage, or else we’re committing to the feelings we anticipate we’ll feel once we achieve our desired outcome.

It’s pretty obvious that so many of us ignore the fact that we’re happy to sit in the space of Intention.’ The feel-good’ stage, but are less ready for the ‘focus’ and ‘plan of action’ needed to follow through and make our promises real?

I DO…Marriage - Commitment

Pledging a commitment is most identifiable in our society in the institution of marriage, yet our divorce statistics, show we are as likely to fail in this commitment as succeed, telling us clearly that even when we legalise and notarise our commitments and state them in front of those nearest and dearest to us, we are still not able to keep our commitments.

Why is this the case?

Imagine…city-563171_1280

Someone dear to you, you agree you love each other…in fact, you’ve said it to each other many times, you accept you are ‘committed’ to one another.

They know your favourite fruit is Pineapple and so they tell you they’re going to get up early the next day, go to the market and buy you the freshest, juiciest pineapple they can find and bring it to you because you mean something to them. Your relationship is important to them, they’re committed to you and your happiness and so they want to see you have the things you like and deserve.

Now imagine…

This very same person misses the first day. They wake up late and tell you not to worry they’ll go tomorrow. They’re just as enthusiastic, they intend to go, you mean so much to them and they really want to do this for you and show you how much they love you. You do know that they love you don’t you?

But the next day they sleep in too…and the next…and the next…and then they’ve got other things to do…other people to see…but they WILL do it, they just can’t right now.

There’s time…

Be patient…

But you know they love you… don’t you?

And so on

The Pineapple bringer:pineapple-382097_1280

They lack devotion to their promise, they’re unwilling to give time and energy to seeing their promise through, There’s a dis-connection between what they say they want and what they’re prepared to do to get it.

  • They lack Authenticity
  • Their commitment is simply ‘Lip service!’ without the focus and devotion to achieving the result.

 The Pineapple receiver:

pineapple-382097_1280Despite wanting desperately to continue to believe in the Pineapple bringer and to take them at their word; after countless disappointments they have to admit they are committed…The Pineapple bringer is not.

They have no choice…

They lose faith…

And eventually…

They stop believing…

 So which one are you?

What makes romantic love so wonderful is the intimacy it creates between you and your chosen partner. You feel valued, supported, accepted and embraced.

But Intimacy evokes a powerful mix of emotions. Intimacy brings you together, you feel empowered, you develop closeness and allow yourself to be vulnerable, but being vulnerable can mean you’re at the mercy of the whims, moods and opinions of the one you love.

Are you the Pineapple Giver

Whose dismissiveness (lack of time investment) i.e. rejection & inability to devote your time and energy to the promise you made creates deep-rooted hurt?

Do you criticise, become defensive or attack when your partner (nervously) reminds you of the promise you made, or do you retreat, emotionally withdraw or simply ‘check out,’ invalidating and rejecting your partner creating deep, painful wounds?

Or are you the Pineapple Receiver

Who decided in the beginning that you were prepared to find the time, energy & and devotion. That you will carry out the plan and achieve the outcome you both seemed to want. Whose consistent and persistent disappointment & rejection (no time investment, needs negated or dismissed – other things/people always come first), has made you so unhappy and so tired you can no longer be ‘patient.’ And you wonder if your patience is actually voluntary slavery in disguise.

Or are you enduring an unhappy state, not ready to give up just yet, your commitment blindly causing you to cling to something that’s dead out of a commitment now, not to the relationship, but to ‘how it looks’ or because you’re ‘used to it.’ And it’s less scary than what you see as the alternative or to ‘the children?’

Choose to…

its-your-choiceWhatever state you’re in, whichever one you are…you know and deep down you know that nothing changes unless you make a choice.

  • Choose to – Commit to the process of your relationship?
  • Choose today, to commit to the promises you made when you uttered those three little words
  • Imagine if we committed to working on and devoting ourselves to maintaining our levels of emotional intimacy as well as and learning what it is we had to do to support that process?
  • Choose to – Prioritise your intimate relationship by actually valuing the relationship over the less important things that we use as an excuse to delay or allow to get in the way?
  • Choose to – Make time to spend private time together, re-acquaint yourself with one another regularly
  • Choose to – Listen to and support each others’ needs. Try not to reject when your partner needs/wants to talk to you, assuming the worst or that it will inevitably be a confrontational exchange. Sometimes all we need is for the person who means the most to us to just listen.
  • Choose to – Change your thoughts instead of seeing the feelings and outcomes as the goal, remember it’s the devotion to the process that’s where the joy is found.
  • Choose to – Change your life to one in which you focus on the quality of experience and the flow of life
  • Choose to change if you know that your Joy is elsewhere. If it’s obvious that your commitment is futile as the ‘other’ has left the building… It is you and you alone who can free yourself to find it.

Be authentic!

2014-07-19 18.27.07The next time you are on the verge of saying something to another person, your boss, yourself that means you’re making a promise or commitment remember what it is you’re doing…Remember that it means to ‘Give time,’ to Give energy’ and make that promise only if you’re prepared to focus on the consistent action and devotion that your ‘promise’ will need to create your vision.

If you don’t want to do the work, then out of respect…

Leave well alone!

 Blissings & Much Love

Insightful Angel 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What it means to be your mother

Happy Sunday all,

What it means to be your mother

roses-66527_1280It’s mothering Sunday in the UK and although I was originally going to talk on another topic today, I guess as the energy of the day is predominantly about appreciation for our mothers. I’ve decided that it would be a good thing and an appropriate thing for me to reflect on this area of my life as it colours every facet of every decision I make, every action I take and every word I speak. All are defined by the fact that I am a mother.

 manuscript-203465_1280A personal note

It occurred to me though that rather than define motherhood universally and discuss it from a distant, third-person perspective, I’d prefer to write a more personal note to my children and tell them what it means to me and has meant to be their mother. If what I have to say here resonates with you feel free to plagarise my words and let your own children know what they and being a mother to them means to you.

Where to start?

As a dear friend of mine always says…

’Indeed!’

Where do I start?

To Ella, Jake & Lily…

Being your mother has been THE most amazing, challenging, frightening, exhausting, exhilarating, hilarious, frustrating, heartbreaking poignant and beautiful journey I have undertaken.

wooden-boat-258953_150From the very beginning, being your mother meant being the best example of the values I hold to be true so that you could emulate them. I have always been determined to ‘walk my walk’ and not just ‘talk the talk.’ It is vital to me that I ‘show you how.’ The thing I strive for the most, is to one day have you three look at me with pride and say ‘That’s my mum…isn’t she amazing?’ You see your approval means the world to me. To know that the people I brought into the world acknowledge that I did all I could and they’re OK is all I wish for.

pregnancy-466129_1280The pleasure and the pain

From the moment each of you made the fluttering inside my womb, creating the feeling of nervousness and butterflies, the feeling that said ‘I’m here and I’ll see you soon’ to the moment you were placed across my breast and in my arms and until I leave this earthly plane you will receive nothing but my undying love and unconditional acceptance.

Being a mother is fraught with contradictions and expectations of what we are and should be. I have had to be strong and gentle, critical yet supportive, friend but at the same time mentor and guide, we’re cast as Madonnas, perfect and untouchable, yet we’re expected to be relate-able and ordinary at the same time.

In the beginningmother-429158_1280

In the beginning what it means to be your mother meant willing myself back from total and complete exhaustion and with you Lily potential death as I shook and trembled after giving birth. My body so truamatised it threatened to go into shock and the midwife and doctor rushing to do what they needed to avoid me fitting and slipping into unconsciousness. I was unable to hold you in your first few minutes of life because being a mother then meant maintaining my own.

What it means to be your mother…

It means becoming a willing vessel from which you get your source of life. It means for at least a year, you used my body so yours could be sustained, maintained and thrive, regardless of energy, or nourishment, or sleep or wellbeing every calorie or vitamin my body possessed became yours…

2014-04-29 18.46.39It means I got to marvel at your fearlessness as each of you fought to ‘get on with life’ and crawl, walk, read, feed yourselves say your first word, hold a pencil, make friends I was grateful to get to see all these firsts. The desire and determination to move forward you showed, despite falling down so so many times taught me perseverance.

From you I learnt to laugh more and be more, iron less and sing more. From you I learnt to give myself permission to be ‘authentically me,’ I had to if I wanted you to learn how to be that for you too.

What it means to be your mother…

It means I got to comfort you when you were sad or the others were mean to you or left you out. I got to remind you how amazing you are and to hug you. It means I cheered from the sidelines (too loudly for you Jake I know!) of Netball and football matches with hot flasks and sandwiches in biting gales and with wet, soggy feet, but nevertheless feel my chest swell with immense pride at your efforts, win or lose.

girls-204323_150It means accepting your right to independence and that you don’t always need me. Making sure you didn’t see how sad I was that you no longer wanted to kiss me before you ran into school, or to have me drop you off, but go it alone on the bus…but at the same time being relieved and proud because it meant you were OK… you were finding your feet and becoming the wonderful you that you are today.

What it means to be your mother…

It means enduring your hatred when I wouldn’t let you do what you wanted to do. It means I had to be resolute, knowing that my duty to you was to do my best for you, do what’s right and that my obligation is to be your guide and that means I can’t always be your best friend.

heart-297313_150It means enduring the humiliation of having to receive a hand out in order to eat and having my heart pierced with Ice and break in to million tiny pieces as you look at me in disgust.

It means surviving… surviving so I could be some kind of a mother, knowing that no matter what you needed a mother, needed ME to be your mother, when it becomes life-threatening to mother you in the same space as you.

It means making choices… choices which mean either outcome is unbearable to contemplate, yet still having to make that choice and making one that you think will benefit your children the most, regardless of the outcome for myself.

What it means to be your mother

It means suffering the anguish of not being able to create holiday memories with you. It means being maligned and criticised and it means swallowing the painful lump of shame as potentially my children and others look at me and think “She’s obviously a bad mother!” without any knowledge of the reality..

There’s so much more I could say, so many examples of what it means to be your mother but I think for the sake of brevity I had best leave it here.

coast-631925_1280What it means to be your mother…

What it means to be your mother is to hold undying and unconditional love in my heart and mind for each of you until the breath leaves my body. It means I will always be your fiercest champion and tireless support.

It means I will advise you and encourage you to always do the right things even though there may be an easier way. It means being the best example of what it means to be human that I can be and to persist in this example for you no matter the consequence. It means being the template from which you fashion your suit, it means being the footsteps that went before and guiding you with a steady firm hand, but knowing when to let you go.

 In closing…

love-544408_1280It means learning to surrender my ego or needs and to learn to trust…both myself and my life’s process and in so doing come to learnt to trust the same thing for you. It means I was fearless when the reality was I was fearful. I means I had to learn to strike a balance between being lax and pleasing you for fear you wouldn’t like me anymore and setting boundaries and limits…firmly and I hope always with love, so that you could develop strong and straight

It means I did this and will continue to do this regardless of whether or not we see each other, whether or not you choose to talk to me, whether to not you think I did my best, whether or not you approve of my life choices, whether or not I’m rich enough, or pretty enough or whatever enough you think you need me to be for your approval.

It means that I love you

 It means I am your Mother

Blissings and much love always

 Ma x

Lovesick

Happy Sunday all,

Lovesick

2014-07-05 05.59.11One of my greatest moments of sadness is when I stand in front of a class of children and through the conversation I realise they do not love themselves. Like rest of us in society they are already ‘lovesick.’ I say ‘lovesick.’ because they have caught the bug and it’s  making them (and us) sick. It’s the thought that they’re not loveable, they’re not ‘good enough’ to be loved for who they/we truly are that is making us ill.

Our relationships and especially our love relationships are opportunities for us to decide who we are and choose who we want to be. If we assume (and I know this is true for me), we are here as creators, our relationships are a powerful vehicles which give us the chance to decide, as Neale Donald Walsche says:

“What part of yourself you’d like to see “show up,” not what part of another you can capture and hold.”

You did this…Oh yes you did!

you-151415_150In my experience of life and relationships I have learnt that our dealings with others are a space in which we have an opportunity to choose and to create ourselves in our own vision. However the reality for most of us is very different. The biggest challenge we face is accepting that ‘we,’ yes ‘we’ created our state of ‘lovesickness’ whatever situation we may mind ourselves in.

It’s not deliberate you understand and I for one am not exempt. Most of us look to find that ‘perfect one.’ The one that ‘completes’ us the ‘special one’ who makes us feel whole. This is the ideology that we feed into and which is re-inforced by the messages we receive every day.

Oh My gosh!

They just changed… they’re not the same anymore

How much pressure is that for our significant other? In not wanting to disappoint they/we try to be and do he things we know our partner says they ‘want’ and ‘need’ (both words which come from a place of ‘lack’ by the way!). We see our relationship as a place where we should be what we think the ‘other’ needs. We then spend so much time bending and shaping ourselves like a pretzel into our idea of what we think they want that we end up not knowing which way is up, who we are, or what we think we want to be.

mask-178262_150Finally, we get to a point where we can no longer keep up the pretence. It wasn’t deliberate, you understand, but eventually there’s the realisation that who we’re being in this relationship is not the ‘me’ we choose to project, the ‘authentic’ being that is expressing in a way that is acceptable to our soul and so we have no choice but to show our ‘real’ selves.

Our significant ‘other’ then says ‘we’ve changed.’ and I guess what? We have because we are now reclaiming our true selves and acting authentically, finally listening to the whisperings of our soul.

Giving up…giving in

It can take a few of these experiences before we realise that we’re going about it all wrong. When this happens most of us either settle for our lowest expectation or nurse the idea that we are fine with nothing at all. We choose companionship, give up on our highest and grandest vision of ourselves, we settle. The energy and vibrancy of youthful expectation has now diminished, (in most cases disappeared) and our passion, sexual enthusiasm and expression are now merely dying embers. We’re somewhere between our late 30s and our 60s and we’re tired!

 Relationships never really fail

walk-932965_1280This state of  being lovesick causes the relationship to end and one or other, or both’s feelings turn to resentment and then comes the anger!

Relationships ‘fail’ only because we stepped into them for the wrong reasons, not because (as is commonly thought), that they didn’t produce what we thought we wanted. In the main, most of us are looking for what we can get out of a relationship when we enter into it, instead of thinking what can we ‘add to’ it.

The only reason to have relationships is to decide who you really are and to choose to express that self through your reactions, thoughts and deeds.

The paradox

There is no need for A.N. Other to express who you are, however without that ‘other’ we are nothing as we have nothing against whose speech, actions  and reactions we can choose to express.

Therein lies the paradox.

What most of us do however is create our dream according to the needs, thoughts and desires (or so we think) of or beloved other instead of the needs, thoughts and desires of our selves. And so we are not a state of love and loving, but of being ‘lovesick.’

We spend our time measuring how well the other lives up to our expectations and how well we live up to theirs, when really we should test our relationships according to how well we live up to our own ideas of ourselves!

Worry only about yourself and how much you can give.

It’s of no consequence what the other is doing, being, having, thinking, planning, saying…what matters is what you are being in relation to that

Radical thinking…

The most loving person is the most Self-centred.

If you cannot love yourself then you cannot love others. So let’s get well, stop falling into ‘lovesick’-ness, stop seeing ourselves through the love of another. These may sound like familiar thoughts:

‘If I can love them then they will love me;

If I can please others then they will like me;

If I am loving towards others they will think I am loveable.’

We feel there is no-one that loves us. As a result we experience the reverse; Our thoughts become ones of self-hate (lovesick) because:

 The truth is you will never truly accept the love of another until you love yourself.

balloon-104609_640So, for this week (and the weeks to come) make your focus one of loving yourself. Speak gently to yourself, forgive yourself, accept who you are remember we’re simply learning lessons and being given opportunities to decide who and what we choose to be.

We’re her to experience who and what we really are. Who you are is who you choose to show yourself as according to the influence of everything that you experience.

So choose wisely…

Choose Authenticity

Choose YOU!

Blissings and much love

Insightful Angel x

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Purpose III – Soul whispers

Happy Sunday All,

Today we come to the last instalment of what (unintentionally, but happily) has turned out to be a ‘series of posts’ on your PURPOSE and how to find it. In this post I’ll give you an illustration, through my experience of how your soul will keep seeking and reaching for you until you listen. You see, your purpose is always trying to find you because it’s mission is to find it’s expression no matter how long it takes.

All you need to do is listen.

water-256195_150Like water, which always finds a way to seep through and finds its own level, find its way through even the most fortified of defences, through the tiniest of cracks, your soul will find a way for you find your purpose no matter what.

So, if I you’re meant to positively communicate and uplift as your purpose, but are not communicating your purpose positively due to choices that make you unhappy, If you’re not expressing in the way your soul knows you should, you WILL communicate, you WILL express, but may well communicate negatively through criticism and griping and passive aggressive behaviour. All signs of your frustration and unhappiness.

The under side of the coin

Perhaps your purpose is to express love through caring and support, but you’ve made choices that make you feel constrained or trapped, you may still find yourself in a caring role, but resenting it. Perhaps a ‘too young parent,’ whose children are a source of frustration or forced to care for an aged parent or ill partner before you’re ready to. You care for them, but grudgingly so, you care for them but resent it, you care for them and feel trapped. You’re impatient and frustrated and blame them for the loss of your ‘life.’

 

coins-163517_1280Perhaps your purpose is to learn how to positively balance wealth and power with love and open communication. You may find yourself, striving and achieving greatly. Amassing great wealth and place within you community & society & your chosen field of work, but your relationships suffer from a lack of authenticity. You’re unable to open up and confide in others due to a fear of being surpassed or being seen as vulnerable. Your colleagues and the people you manage work for you out of sufferance and due only to your title & position, but not out of respect for you as a manager and human being. You are admired for your success yet feel isolated and alone.

You’re still expressing your nature, but not consciously in the form and manner it should take and that’s where your misery lies.

The message in the misery

mourning-360500_150Your misery is a persistent prod. Like a little devil with a trident, it’s prodding and poking you in the backside and saying ‘Hey you…this isn’t who/what/how you should be. This isn’t how/what you should be doing.’ S/he’s nudging you to pay attention and make the changes necessary to find your bliss. You see when you are expressing in the positive and standing in your purpose its the best feeling in the world. It is bliss!

In my case the universe conspired with my soul which is a persistent little thing and had kept fighting to bring out my authenticity.

One day, I got the message. One day, I finally listened…

I finally decided I was worthy…

Don’t stop believing…hold on to that feeling!

As I grew, my childish belief in my innate gifts stayed on the inside of me and I never stopped dreaming. Though on the outside, in daily my interactions I allowed myself to express only the thoughts and feelings that were ‘allowed’ and acceptable to others for fear of the criticism and ridicule I’d experienced as a child

human-329851_150Serendipity intervened. One day when waiting for a friend to get ready to go out I was singing as usual. here was safe, I wouldn’t be told to ‘shut up,’ or laughed at as I had been so many times when trying out for the school choir or leading roles in the plays, plus she was in the shower down the hall, so probably couldn’t hear me. Or so I thought. She heard me alright and was so impressed by my voice she pressed me to audition for the band she had just joined who needed another singer.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Because of the many time this the many time I have felt this in my life, I am convinced that when you feel a great fear, it’s often because you are on the verge of greatness, on the verge of stepping into the ‘you’ you are supposed to be. Like the understudy who finally gets to go on stage after the leading lady has broken her leg, you know that this is your time to shine and it’d better be good. All the expectation and hoping and dreaming has converged at this very moment and it is terrifying as you now have to ‘PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!’2014-07-05 07.58.05

My friend persisted and would not take my excuses or protestations for any kind of answer. My soul shoved me out from behind the curtain and I found myself singing. Singing in front of groups large and small. Finally I was expressing vocally, expressing positively… My purpose is: To uplift others and connect them to the divine within themselves through the use of my voice. It was one small way my soul could touch and taste what it was I am here to do and it was the most delicious flavour!

Choices…Choices!

But I was still scared…The more I sang, the more I knew this was what I wanted to do and be, but the voices of my childhood, the lack of confidence in myself meant I allowed myself to take the ‘road most travelled.’ and I did the acceptable, the conventional.

Once the husband and family came along…then the singing disappeared too! though not without a serious fight to keep it a part of my life.

2014-09-20 08.09.48I had abandoned my dream… and instead adopted a more acceptable one. To go to university to become a professional to have the husband and the big house and the children. I was the clever one wasn’t I? so I should do the ‘right’ thing, the thing that will give me a better life, elevate me from the poverty, make me someone everyone is proud of… I achieved it all.

There was joy in it all, a sense of accomplishment, but there was always a feeling that something was missing. Always a restlessness, that was almost impossible to tame at times. Every so often there was that ‘nip’ the pinch of conscience that feeling that ‘there’s got to be more!’ I am more!

Divine timing…

Divine wisdom and divine timing are just that…Divine

watch-279813_150In hindsight (always ‘perfect’ vision) I can see the strategy my soul used to get me where I needed to be.

I had forgotten who I was. I had allowed myself to slowly disappear: I had given up my dreams to realism and common sense, my needs to family and my soul was dying…

When the yearning and the questions became so strong they could no longer be suppressed my soul conspired to make me redundant; TWICE!  at the same time my marriage fell apart and I was in a tailspin of divorce, emotional recriminations and upset and for some years was reeling from the impact of it all. Desperately trying to regain my equilibrium, but the universe knows what it’s doing.

It placed me in an position where I finally had to decide what I wanted, what I needed and who I needed to be. I decided to work in a way that would fit with the timetable of my children instead of the corporate, fast-paced environment I had been in and so it manoeuvred me into an educational environment. Then it persisted in sending me a message to teach. Over and over and over again, trust me, that was the last thing I would ever have thought of doing! Until I listened and took action.

Becoming a teacher was the easiest thing in the world. Everything happened like a well oiled clock. Another sign that you are on the right path is the lack of resistance and effort.

The search for the rainbow

rainbow-61783_640In this space I have found my voice and a joy I never thought I would experience. Six shows a day in front of the most critical audience ever…Secondary School Pupils! A Tough audience believe me, who have absolutely no qualms when it comes to telling you just how (insert another expletive!) you are!

So you see I was shown my audience after all, but the story doesn’t stop there. Firstly, Eight years on, the restlessness began again and I knew, though I loved teaching it as time to expand once more. I’d  served my apprenticeship with the toughest audience in the world, it was time to grow even more. The universe/my soul was sending me subtle messages that my journey was to continue.

I hadn’t reached the end of my rainbow… just yet!

The message is in the repetitions

Then, several of my students, on separate occasions stated that I’d be a good ‘Motivational Speaker’ or ‘Life Coach,’ as I had a habit of telling them of the infinite talent and beauty I see in them, I had them meditating, which they loved and would ask for, I had a habit too of giving them ‘life’ teachings in class and guidance on to how to live their best lives.

Then again… I was supporting a friend who had experienced  a relationship break-up. Their comments to me were how helpful I’d been that I should be…you guessed it, a Life Coach.’ They marvelled that I was  so supportive, so insightful and said that he would have happily paid for the advice I had given.

And then finally to September 2013 when my attendance at Success 2013 at the Excel arena (London), produced an epiphany…

2014-06-01 20.09.36My destiny is to be a Coach & Speaker…to motivate not just the handful of children in my English classes, but a whole plethora of people…locally… globally. To put the learning that my life experience had taught me out into the world so that others could learn from it. So they could improve their lives, find their purpose.

And yes…to — USE MY VOICE to spread the learning and connect others to the divine within themselves.

It ain’t over till it’s over, if you’re still here…it ain’t over!

When God, the divine, the universe speaks it will repeat the message. LISTEN and TAKE ACTION.

So I listened and now I’m talking to you and you know what, my soul and heart have never been so alive nor have I felt so completely happy. There’s a quiet knowing and I am aware that I have found my calling, my purpose.

Your presence here, reading this post is me sending my voice out to you, so you can learn to appreciate and trust that you have a purpose and that it WILL be revealed to you.

I guess the point I’m making is that you will continue to get the message, whether it be a lesson for your soul’s development or a path for you to follow, you will continue to get the message. It comes via your intuition, through the words of others, the lyrics in a song, a passage in a book and is always accompanied by a feeling… a knowing that somehow that is a message just for YOU. If you’re feeling miserable, stuck, frustrated, ask yourself what messages have I ignored? what has my inner voice been trying to tell me?

Silence is goldengold-163519_1280

One way to hear the messages of the divine is to practise being silent. It is in silence that GOD speaks to us.

Practise meditation or any other spiritual practise that brings your focus back to yourself.

The voice will become louder the messages stronger. They will strike a chord and resonate with your inner guidance system.

You will hear if you are OPEN…you have to LISTEN!

Through listening you will realise exactly WHY YOU ARE HERE

And that’s when the magic begins!

Blessings all

Insightful Angel 

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Purpose

Happy Sunday to you all,

Feeling Stuck?

2014-09-09 09.50.29

Are you feeling stuck?

Unsure of where you’re going or how to move forward, but sure in the knowledge that you can’t go back?

Are you caught in limbo? You know there is more, but can’t seem to grasp what it is you’re here for.

Are you dissatisfied with what you’re doing, how you’re living but have no idea what it is you want or how to change it You just know this isn’t right…there’s something?

Why am I here?

2014-09-08 11.48.35Today I’ve been musing over the subject of my purpose.

You have too haven’t you? Had that nagging voice say to you

“Surely there’s more to life than this… What the hell are you doing? Where’s your life going?”

If there’s one question we have all asked ourselves, at some point in our lives, it’s the question: ‘WHY AM I HERE?’

When we are unable to answer this, life can seem pointless. We lack direction, a sense of certainty and feel rootless and insecure. Without a purpose in life we drift like flotsam and jetsam and before long find ourselves participating in behaviours that do not serve our highest good to feel something… Anything!

I have long-held the personal belief that the proliferation of drug use, more and more extreme sexual encounters and gratification, overindulgence in food, the overuse and overstimulation of the senses via technology is and attempt to connect with the divine.  To have something make us feel complete, connected to ourselves and to something greater.

To feel at peace and that we matter. To truly know ourselves and our divine purpose.

i-105490_150Not for the likes of me!

The first thing you need to know is that each one of us HAS a purpose. A purpose is not reserved for the privileged few, for special people or the high-profile athletes, the movies stars and the wealthy entrepreneurs. YOU are here to discover this and live your AUTHENTIC life regardless of your start, upbringing, education or social status.

Though you do need to place focus on the material world in some way, after all this is the space we live in, but you need to get this.  Experiences in my life have taught me that this world is the training ground. The place where our soul is trained  and where it comes to do its work. The work of self-discovery and self-realisation, self-mastery.

What I have learnt from my time  here and through life’s trials, is that our soul’s lessons are designed to test us. As we break through each of our tests we become stronger, our belief in ourself and faith in our innate gifts grow more convincing and we begin to walk with surer steps in the direction of our dreams and our life’s purpose.

Deep down inside you know…

If you ignore the message of your soul it will continue to remind you.

I’ll give you an example from my experience:

As a child all I ever did was talk and sing. I was inquisitive, a dreamer, I loved people and would happily chatter away asking questions, being curious.

All I ever dreamt of was being another Judy Garland or Lena Horne (I loved the old movies full of glamour), but you get the picture. I saw myself on the Musical Theatre stage dancing like Cyd Charisse (I know…I’ve given the game away re my age, but hey, it can take being on the planet this long to finally ‘get it.’)

Anyway, as I was saying, all I did was sing and dream.sand-332500_150

Our path to our purpose is often the rockiest and most difficult to walk along. If you are to be an artist in some way you may find yourself born into  family of Philistines. If you are musical or sporting you may find yourself unsupported or your efforts trivialised, If your purpose is to share love with the world then you may find you have a start in life that is acutely devoid of love and safety.

This is so you to truly understand what it is and make your sharing all that more powerful because you DO understand what it is.

I realise now that is the universe’s way of ‘sharpening you up.’ making you strong and focused and determined, providing you with the ‘grit’ required to share the very best expression of your gift. Shaping you, so that when the time comes, nothing will shake you and you will ‘express.’ what you came here for in its fullest glory and power.

hand-307728_150And so I was constantly told to ‘shut up,’ as I talked too much. I was told that I couldn’t sing and reminded through our lack of means that that kind of a world was a world for ‘other’ people. People like us got jobs and hoped for a lifetime of security, to become ‘middle class’ rise out of the poverty and ‘working class ‘status we had in life.

And slowly, through the criticisms, taunts and ridicule of significant carers, teachers, careers advisers, who all knew more than I did, better than I did and who’s judgment and wisdom couldn’t be questioned, through them my innate knowledge of who I am and why I’m here was denied and ultimately I suppressed it.

Post-it notes and reminders

Despite my soul having an instinctive knowledge of its purpose, which was to use my voice to uplift the world. I learnt to be quiet.

Most people who know me would say ‘You quiet!’ I still talked, I was actually overly verbose, but it was empty talk. Acceptable talk. The deep-seated issues I wanted to discuss I couldn’t and didn’t, the dreams I had I swallowed and pushed down. As a result. Every year I suffered with Tonsillitis or ‘Strep throat.’ I was resisting my purpose and my soul was making me ill to wake me up to that fact.

Every year a post-it note: ‘This is not who you are meant to be!postit-169631_1280

Those of you in the know, will have guessed what it took me to my mid-thirties to begin to get the message. I suffered from tonsillitis because my communication centre was blocked. It felt awful, because for my soul, not being who I was supposed to be and doing what I was supposed to do, not fulfilling my purpose here was awful!

Our feelings are our barometer. You KNOW when something’s not right for you and your authentic purpose here. When you tell that ‘little’ lie and you get that brief tweak of conscience, when you take a bigger share, when you say something mean. Or perhaps you’re the person who’s on the receiving end. You’re allowing another to persecute or bully you; to control you life and your actions, to criticise or chastise you and it hurts.

Those pangs and twinges of guilt or shame, those feelings of hurt or upset are all

‘Post-it’ notes from your soul

and they’re shouting at you to make a change because whatever you’re doing or however you’re living or working are damaging you irrevocably.

So if you’re feeling stuck…feeling dissatisfied be thankful. Thankful because your soul is nudging you. Urging you to take a step closer to your purpose.When you do that dissatisfaction will disappear and the feeling of contentment and worth you get will be worth all the frustration, all the anguish and all the soul-searching.

Next week I will show you how my experience taught me to step into my purpose and how my soul never gave up on me. Yours isn’t either…so start listening.

Until next week.

Blessings & Much Love

Insightful Angel

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In search of Joy?

Hello there, How are you this Happy Sunday?

In this conversation I’d like us to consider how we can live, as I firmly believe we are here to live life, which is fully, completely, whole-heartedly and in Joy and NOT as drudges or in a perpetual state of tiredness making do, putting up with, accepting and OR running, running and running, to  feel as if we’re going no-where; wondering ‘is this all there is?’

The dictionary defines ‘Comfort.’ as:

  • 1. A state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint.
  • 2. consolation for grief or anxiety.
  • 3. Verb to feel less unhappy

Whereas ‘Joy’ is defined as:

  • 1. A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
  • 2. Success or satisfaction
  • Synonyms cited are words such as; bliss delight, ecstasy, euphoria, rapture

Which do you choose?

right-238369_150Looking at both of these definitions, I know which one I would prefer to experience. How often though do we opt for the former state repressing and containing our joy ‘just in case,’ so we’re not too disappointed should our success/love/ambition be snatched away or worse still we fail?

On an episode of Oprah Winfrey’s ‘Super Soul Sunday,’ Dr Brené Brown discusses her *4 guideline for wholehearted living, which she says is:

  • ‘The cultivation of Gratitude and Joy.’
  • Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark

‘When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, Joy becomes foreboding.’

Brené continues this means:

I’m not going to feel you, I’m not going to soften into this moment of joy, because I’m scared. I’m afraid it’s going to be taken away from me.’ 

 

I recognise this scenario only too well myself.

fear-299679_640The fearful ‘What if?’

The younger version of me was a very contained person. I rarely cried. I had learnt early on to repress emotions, especially the ones which contained feelings of joy. In doing so I would never be disappointed. If I didn’t expect much than I wouldn’t suffer agony of not achieving/having my heart’s desire.

I was well practised at minimising the ‘joy’ and opted instead for the familiarity and less threatening ‘comfortable.’ Feeling joy is inherently dangerous.

These feelings are, more often than not followed by the thought that something ‘bad’ or unsavoury is just around the corner because it all feels just a little ‘TOO’ good and I know you know what I’m talking about!

Every so often we’ll do a little mental inventory of where we’re at.

Once we work our way down the tick-list and slowly realise that things are going good… not only that, things are good in all areas; work, home, parents, friends, financial etc…we begin to assume that it can’t ALL be this good and something bad is lurking just around the corner.

I’ve heard it from friends, family members and colleagues many times… ‘It won’t last…’ ‘Yeah I’m good… something’s bound to go wrong!’ and although we may say it ‘tongue in cheek’…somewhere deep down we believe it.

Without Vulnerability there can be no Joy

self-doubt-424968_1280At this point in my life I can honestly confess to you that I am living in JOY.

It’s amazing!

It’s where everyone should living

Not a day goes by without someone telling me how wonderful I look and that is because of the joy which simply oozes out from within me. It is a better state to be in than the ‘comfortable’ state of being in which I refused to feel, to express, to be too big, to dare too greatly incase it was all snatched away and I would be left bereft.

 

Opening up to JOY makes you VULNERABLE

Roller-Coaster OR Merry-GO-Round?

roundabout-57858_150The former choice is to choose the ‘Merry-go-Round’ of life. There’s some movement, but after a few times round you kind of get to know what’s coming up next. You’ve been here before, you can handle this, you’re armed and ready. No surprises!

The alternative is the Roller Coaster…It scares the S**t out of you, you don’t know if you’ll survive it…the intensity of it…it’s not safe, what if you fall off? So many uncertainties to counter. ride-61624_1280

But…let me tell you how wonderful it is to bite the bullet and ride that damned roller-coaster!

Yes! All the aforementioned fears are credible, but if you’ve every ridden a roller-coaster you know the thrill, the feeling of being alive that you experience. Every fibre of your being, every nerve ending, every sense is sharp and alert.

Expanded…more alert…more alive!

You feel expanded and fearful, yet strangely fearless at the same time. You’re out of control and vulnerable, stripped back and laid bare, much like the feelings you experience when making love…didn’t our dictionary offer up the synonyms ‘rapture,’ and ‘ecstasy?’

In that moment you can do nothing but surrender to the experience because whether in that moment you live or die is no longer in your control!human-329851_150

When we surrender…When we submit to vulnerability we expand

On reflection you realise you’ve expanded your being somehow. You’re somehow bigger, brighter!

You’re no longer shrunken and you can’t go back.

In fact the immediate want once you’ve jumped off a roller-caster is often to jump straight back on and experience it all over again because your realise the next time you will fully commit to FEELING the joy in what you’re doing.  You realise that the first time there was still some fear and a part of you was holding back.

Red pill or blue…which will you choose?

So this week…I’m challenging you (and myself) to be vulnerable. To allow yourself to climb onto the roller-coaster and go for the ride of your life!

Expose yourself…reveal… who you are…dare to submit and if you can do this alongside cultivating feelings of gratitude I guarantee you will not regret it.

Is there something you want to do or achieve that scares you? Great! make a change and take a step towards it. You’re scared for all the reasons I stated above, but be assured stepping into it will catapult you into such a feeling of joy and gratitude and expansion you will never want to ride the merry-go-round again.

I confess…

sad-girl-236769_150This week I realised a great fear I have had all my life…so here and now I will expose myself to you my readers, supporters and friends. If I am to support others on their journey I need to fully immerse myself in the principles I say I hold dear and so I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable and share with you my vision.

It’s one which scares me.

It feels arrogant and reminds me of all those times when asked as a child, ‘Who do you think you are?’ or as an adult accused (more than once) of thinking I am ‘better than everyone else!’

I forced myself to create a mission statement for my Personal Development and Coaching business this week and as I looked at the words I’d written in pink ink, I felt a tremendous fear rise and that familiar voice inside said ‘WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?’

So here in pink…I am declaring the me I am choose to be in this world: I declare that I aim to be:

“The Spark that ignites the power and potentiality in others.

To stand bathed in, fully immersed in my magnificence, power and abundance

and to always support others to do the same.”

The Challenge

Sure there are no guarantees…accessing your joy doesn’t mean life’s trials suddenly melt away, but boy are you more ready and capable of dealing with them and you’ll find you’ll come through stronger and more expanded…rock-climbing-403488_1280

A bigger, better version of you…

A version you accept and love…

The version of  you, you were always meant to be.

 

Blessings & much love

Insightful Angel

 

 

 

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Being You

Happy Bank Holiday Monday all,

Good morning again from a rather rainy Toronto & a cloudy London. Today I thought I’d consider the challenge of ‘Being you.’

There’s a quotation attributed to Coco Chanel:

‘Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself’

children-364625_150How do we obtain & maintain a sense of self when many of the messages we receive create and   persist in ‘reinforcing the notion that we simply not enough?’ Firstly, let me apologise for the fact that I have been out of range for the last couple of weeks and so unable to write to you all. As I began to write this it was Saturday afternoon and one of those rare moments when I’ve slowed down a bit. You know one of those dull afternoons when you feel listless and want to stay cosy inside. The TV was on for some rare ‘chilling’ time on the sofa with my sis.

In need of a fix

An advertisement comes on, nothing unusual there…but it was an ad for a dating site. The one that followed was for slimming aids, then Febreze, then a baldness cure and as I watched I detached slightly. A thought occurred to me: How can you ever see being you as ok when the overriding message is one of ‘Not enoughness?’ That to be seen, make a difference, achieve in ANY WAY we need to be fixed?

The deficiency paradigmmourning-360500_150

These messages sent to us from the plethora of images we meet daily, hourly both pictorial and written, is one of deficiency. We are perpetually bombarded with the idea that we need fixing, that we’re just not good enough and quite frankly it made me tired!

Too single, too fat, too dirty too bald, too old, not old enough, feet too ugly, not tanned, slim,  tall or rich enough…the list goes on and                                                     I’m sure you catch my drift.

Is it any wonder then that the lens through which feel able to see the world is rather foggy and a somewhat gloomy one?

I guess the strategy works?

ball-393834_150If we’re subdued into a state of perpetual fatigue, constantly using our energies to bat away thoughts of unworthiness, inadequacy and not enoughness, how can we hope to find the mental & physical energy required to strive, become educated, to love to sing, to laugh? To find the path to being you. Fully realised, authentic and content with who you are? I imagine many of you reading this will be feeling listless, lacking enthusiasm for you life and it’s not surprising as this message overload is constant. The best way to counter this is simple. TURN IT OFF!

Take the Challege

Never mind Ice-bucket challenges! I challenge each of you reading this to turn off the Tv, eshew newspapers & magazines and social media… give your mind & spirit a negativity holiday for a week and notice how you feel & how your thoughts change. Ok for you real info junkies try a day or two! Once you shut out the bombardment you may find yourself surprised by how satisfied and grateful you begin to feel. Once you tap into these feelings of gratitude & satisfaction you begin to generate more (much as you did with the feelings, of dissatisfaction). Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean ‘stuff’ won’t happen, but when it does, you’ll find your attitude to the ‘stuff’ shifting. Events will seem less disastrous and insurmountable. The satisfaction you now feel will extend itself to yourself and you’ll realise you’ve more than enough. You’re fine just as you are… right where you are.

Blessings

Insightful Angel

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Love & Fear

Happy Sunday everyone,

Today’s post will start in a somewhat creative mode. I was flicking through one of my many journals – (I am an occasional and inconsistent journal writer) and I came upon this poem or song I guess you’d call it. I named it ‘BREATHE’ball-393834_150

BREATHE

1

What happens when there’s no plan ‘B?’ When life lands a punch, so strong you can’t breathe?

What happens when you’re naked and alone, too scared to stand still, but afraid to walk on?

CHORUS/REFRAIN

When the pieces of the jigsaw fail to fit, when we fail to trust, force the edges in. In that very moment, ego’s fire, kills the Alchemist within.

2

Hold tight to yourself, breathe, don’t let yourself go, trust your life’s right, (just) let your spirit flow

The clouds weep in blue and the Earth’s wind blows cold. I pray SO hard to take my place, feeling tired, feeling old

CHORUS

When the pieces of the jigsaw fail to fit, when we fail to trust, force the edges in. In that very moment, ego’s fire, kills the Alchemist within.

The song appears between entries and notes dated 2002 and 2003 and what struck me about it was that I seemed to have encapsulated a couple of the main things that prevent us as spirit beings from identifying and achieving contentment, standing in our power and enacting our true purpose in this life. IMG_0412Namely FEAR and MISTRUST.

Osho says:

‘Fear is nothing but the absence of love. Do something with love, forget about fear. If you love well, fear disappears.’

Today I’m going to talk a bit about LOVE & FEAR.

sad-72216_150The debilitating result of fear

I have spent much of my life in fear. As a child I quickly learnt to fear my own power and magnificence. All my singing, speaking, opinions, laughter, successes inquisitiveness and loving actions seemed to be criticised. As a result, I spent much of my time feeling ‘wrong’ or ‘too much.’ I’m sure many of you have similar memories of childhood?

As such I learnt very early on to make myself small, to shrink and not upset or embarrass others or myself by being too excited or free. This then became a lifelong practise, perhaps this is the case for you too? Until I found myself, as the song says, unable to ‘breathe.’

Through this lifelong practise of rejecting our joy we become insecure and unsure and so in adulthood we are fearful. We no longer have a clear of what is our authentic self and so conform to what society says we should do/be/say.

Crippled, limping and alone

When we’re in fear our intuitive senses become blocked. When we are blocked it’s as if we are crippled in some way. Our intuition is overtaken by our ego, the voice that is in constant need for external approval, the voice that has complete belief in the world of the material, the world we’re taught is the one that really matters.

beggars-62851_150We’re still walking, you understand, but our gait isn’t straight nor is it sure-footed and every so often we go over on our ankle and the pain is excruciating!

In this world there is fear.

Fear is the absence of love. The absence of love creates Division: ‘Otherness,’  Division and ‘Otherness’ lead to Self-Protection, Self-Protection shuts us off (from ourselves, from others and the world) Shutting out means you’re alone…

Alone = Loneliness – Isolation – Disconnection

A state of feeling no contact with existence.thinking-236770_150

We’re crippled…limping, disconnected, discontented and alone!

The search for love

africa-17344_150Our intuition is the way God/Higher Power/Source/Allah/Jah/Yahweh/Universe speaks to and guides us. You access your intuition by allowing yourself to love.

For most of us to live purposefully we adopt a belief system of some kind, a connection to an external source to anchor us as we navigate through life and find our purpose, for we ALL have a purpose.

What we are really doing is looking for love and rightly so. It is in love that fear is driven out. If you’ve ever been in love, or if you have children, you know that in love, when you give it unconditionally and not in the form of some contract, you do not feel fear.

Love: Then you become fearless!

When you are fearless you neither create fear in others nor allow it to be created in you. You understand that love is of itself beneficial, so there is no need for conditions or contracts so you have no need for a return.

demon-201439_150Just by loving you grow in fearlessness and joy and so come to love just for the joy of it!

In loving you are more open to and more likely to hear the voice of whichever external power you subscribe to and in the listening you come to understand your purpose.

Why am I here?

love-229977_150It is only when we are fulfilling this purpose that we feel peace, feel fulfilled and to feel complete love and acceptance of ourselves and of others.

For many of us the search for that purpose and peace is elusive and we frantically  scrabble around for the answers to our existence; flip-flopping from one job to the next, adrenaline fuelled activities, drugs, alcohol, one relationship to the next vainly seeking, becoming despondent and wondering what the meaning of all this is anyway?

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Have you ever done something, created something, helped someone, come up with an idea for something, answered a question you didn’t think you knew the answer to, overcome a fear, large or small and felt a profound feeling of just ‘completeness.’ A feeling that ‘THIS IS WHO I AM.’ as sense of acceptance and belonging.

As if the sun was shining just on YOU in that moment and  that you can do or be ANYTHING? It’s in those moments, that we are given the clues…the breadcrumbs in the forest that will lead us to our purpose in life.

person-110305_150What we are meant to do is ‘FOLLOW THE FEELING!’

 To create and seek out more situations and opportunities that re-create that feeling until it increases and increases and we are completely enveloped in ‘I AM.’

Increases and increases until we are FEARLESS and stand firmly, magnificently in the centre of the true essence of our being.

However, I’m sure you, like me will recognise what happens then. We can become afraid.

This feels ‘TOO’ good, we feel too powerful, too talented, too special and HOW DARE WE?

This is sacrilege.

Isn’t it?

lady-36446_150Who are we to feel god-like? and so we shrink… We go back to the familiar feelings of fear and mistrust. We’re safe with them. With them we don’t stand out, we don’t rock the boat. With them we are acceptable.

If I can get across ONE thing to you, beautiful readers today, it’s that we are here to be MAGNIFICENT. That every moment of everyday should feel awesome.

We are meant to live ‘Fearlessly’

Take it to heart, act on it.

Love: Yourself & others…

Love: Openly & unconditionally…

Follow those positive feelings to your BLISS and be in love with you…

IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE!

Blessings!

Insightful Angel

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