Happy Sunday All,
Today I’d like to discuss with you, something which I may have touched on in a previous blog, but which seems to have been the theme of my week. I’d like, right here and now to get you to really begin to
‘love the skin you’re in.’
You see, too many of us don’t.
I often hear people I know and love commenting on the features or qualities they dislike about themselves or bemoaning the fact that they don’t have a particular talent. When we don’t accept ourselves, when we allow the ‘inner critic’ to constantly berate us how can we possibly access the goodness, abundance, the joy the peace and love we all want in hearts?
Mahatma said: ‘Be the change you wish to see…’ Michael Jackson said ‘He’s looking at the man in the mirror, ’ so anything we want to achieve, have or change starts with US.
The start begins in your mind and the things you say to yourself. We cannot hope to be our best, achieve abundance or business success if our mind-talk is perpetually reinforcing our insecurities.
Isn’t It Ironic…Don’t you think?
The very features or qualities you bemoan or have learnt to dislike can turn out to be your biggest and best asset and yet you’ve spent most of your time not appreciating it. I’ll give you an example:
Yesterday after yoga a fellow Yogi came up to me and said I had the most fabulous arms!
My Arms… Really? You’ve got to be kidding?
You see my sisters and I have muscular arms and have, over the years commented on this fact. It’s a feature I have often wished was more sleek and feminine. I have seen my arms as making me look more male and often thought they were too muscular, yet here was a woman telling me how beautiful they were to her. My Yoga teacher agreed too.
A feature that has always been a slight embarrassment to me was being applauded and commented on as being admirable.
From serious flaw to greatest asset
Another example is my voice…
When I was younger criticism led me to believe my voice and what I had to say was either a nuisance, inappropriate or too much. So I spent many years believing I should ‘Shut up.’
Yet, in my teens and twenties I discovered I could sing and in my thirties and forties and now into my fifties the desire to use my voice (speaking, writing) to uplift and support others has become irresistible and is now one of the talents I receive my most positive responses to.
My daughter’s birth-mark (on her neck) was a source of upset for her. She begged and pleaded to have it removed all through her childhood. She hid it whenever possible and because of it was insecure. I insisted that it made her unique, I refused to give in to her pleas. I told her that one day she would love it and be proud of it. Today she acknowledges that it separates her from the ‘crowd’ and actually enhances her beauty. She no longer covers it up.
Your greatest flaw can turn out to be your greatest gift…. but only if you accept yourself just as you are.
Like poor Elsa in ‘Frozen’ she has come to realise that the thing she believed she should dislike about herself is the thing that enhances her uniqueness. I’m sure we all remember Jennifer Grey of ‘Dirty Dancing’ fame, but what happened to her star and it’s rise after she messed with her nose?
Her internal critic obviously had one particular point of view, yet her nose was the very feature that made her cute and gave hr face the form that made her believable as ‘baby.’ It contributed to her a achieving the success she had no doubt spent a long time working on.
Without it she lost it
Comparison the devil in disguise
It seems to me that the problem starts when we look outside of ourselves. When we begin to make comparisons. When we compare ourselves we invariably find ourselves lacking in some way and then instead of thinking ‘well It would be lovely if this, that or the other were better, BUT I have this and this talent and this quality that I admire and love about myself,’ we obsess over the one or two things that we see as inferior,
But inferior to what?
In the main we are comparing ourselves to manufactured ideals that bear little resemblance to the qualities of real people and when you look at it, really examine what we are capable of as a species you see we’re pretty damned amazing and achieve some phenomenal things when we get out of our own way and just get on with the business of living our best lives.
Children know the secret
Very rarely do you come across a toddler or baby that worries that they’re not good enough. How much joy do we get on social media from seeing children just full of fun and laughter, dancing for no reason or singing and simply being…
There’s recognition of something that we know we’ve lost, but are afraid to admit. I mean who the hell made up the rule that as adults we need to be ‘sensible?’ that we shouldn’t dance or sing with joy, that we shouldn’t believe in magic and dreams and completely believe ANYTHING is possible?
How well are you looking after yourself when you criticise and berate yourself?
Instead of sending the focus of your positive affirmations outside and onto others, appreciating their qualities and talents, you would be better to create a more positive mind-set within yourself and around who YOU are.
Like attracts Like
If you have a desire for success, whatever that looks like to you, how can you create this success if at the same time your mind talk and constant criticism indicates that you’re undeserving?
To create success, whatever that may look like, you need positivity. A healthy nurturing mindset and context into which the success can appear. This is why there are still wealthy people who are unhappy, super rich and talented sports people who are depressed, super-slim and beautiful women who are suicidal.
Despite having ‘IT ALL’ as we are brainwashed into thinking, they are obviously still discouraging themselves and feeling unworthy because of their inner critic. This creating a toxic and depressing inner world and leads to external symptoms of insecurity and self-loathing.
This is what you’re doing to yourself when you tell yourself you’re unworthy or wrong or just ‘toooo…’
The skin you’re in is unique.
You are the only ‘you’ there is.
You have a set of gifts and features that are a unique and special combination and are found only in you, so rare that the odds are millions, probably trillions to one that that same combination will be found elsewhere.
I don’t know about you, but if I found something that rare, my tendency would be to cherish it, care for it and make sure it as well looked after. I would want it to know every day how beautiful and rare I thought it was.
This is how you should speak to yourself!
Unique NOT the freak
When you speak positively to yourself, when you focus on your talents and gifts, when you appreciate your creativity, kindness or the myriad of other features all positive and that YOU bring to the world, you to develop a mind-set and thought process that is positive. A mind-set that uplifts and believes in you, a mind-set that is focused on creating SUCCESS.
For this week, When you find yourself criticising yourself (you know those thoughts that start with ‘I wish I…) make a deliberate effort to think about the talents and skills or features you have that you LIKE about yourself, the things that make you unique, that confirm that you’re one in a million.
Practise… and soon you’ll be smiling. You may even find yourself, like the toddler dancing with joy for no reason.
Pretty soon, you’ll find that you are indeed:
Loving the skin you’re in!
Blissings & much Love